Adult Daycare: Dealing with Employees

fxh

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I just got asked to follow up with the manager of someone who is contact with someone in another office because another someone in my office hired a consultant who wants to pick up a laptop in the other office and work in the other office for my office.
Who's on first?
 

Pimpernel Smith

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I've just asked the pertinent question as to what are the changes to the quality management system as regards the latest edition of ISO9001? I mean with all the big investment and extra quality manager and engineers input, I expected the major changes to be cascaded down to me by now....queue tumbleweeds....eerie silence....and on reminding them....I've been greeted with some waffle and piffle about how the changes are small, but quite significant as regards the mapping out and "top management''.

Looking forward to rejecting with extreme prejudice my contribution to the quality budget.

The whole ISO9001:2015 farce has completely discredited the Quality Assurance and management accreditation disciplines.
 

Fwiffo

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I definitely don't want to share desks with this person if they are ill. Also, how am I supposed to answer the telephone when it's outside of the bubble?
 

Fwiffo

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Previously, the last Friday of every month was casual day. This was hard won from our local CEO and given because of the new dress code he introduced - jackets for men, suit and tie if you are with clients. Still employees moaned and groaned for every Friday being casual day and finally they have got it. Every Friday will now be "Dress for the Day Friday". If you're client facing, you wear your suit and tie. If are puttering around your desk, you can wear casual.

Does this mean I can go back to wearing a suit and tie every day? I'm interviewing potential job candidates this Friday.
 

Thruth

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Previously, the last Friday of every month was casual day. This was hard won from our local CEO and given because of the new dress code he introduced - jackets for men, suit and tie if you are with clients. Still employees moaned and groaned for every Friday being casual day and finally they have got it. Every Friday will now be "Dress for the Day Friday". If you're client facing, you wear your suit and tie. If are puttering around your desk, you can wear casual.

Does this mean I can go back to wearing a suit and tie every day? I'm interviewing potential job candidates this Friday.
Yes you can Foo. Just remember dressing nicely can turn people against you
 

Fwiffo

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Yes you can Foo. Just remember dressing nicely can turn people against you
My name's foo?

And why is dressing nicely going to make people turn on me? Because they're in poverty and their Sunday best garment is what I use to shine my shoes?
 

Thruth

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All this time I posted on the wrong forum. I kept thinking I was on the poor, the ragged, and the ugly forum.
Please read other pertinent threads so you can be in on the latest trends regarding dressing well/DressedWell and how dressing well even on DressedWell might have your directs, subdirects, superiors, inferiors and equals considering your sense of style as being rude.

It is a fine line these days.

Besides, you are the closest to Foo on DW
 

Pimpernel Smith

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I've got to give a pep talk today, individually, face-to-face. Can't be too positive as a couple of them are on reduced hours and I'm in no position to offer them full-time work. So will have will have to temper everything with let's wait and see what happens come springtime. Likely they'll know it's a fudge and their manager will be able to blame me for everything when I walk out the door. All of this could be handled with no meeting at all and a simple one line email would suffice. This is what happens when you extend your visit an extra day beyond what is necessary just so you can suck out the entertainment value of a trip with added cocktail hours and restaurant visits.
 

Fwiffo

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I resemble that remark
Surely you jest

Besides, you are the closest to Foo on DW
What? I take offence to that on so many levels. An affront to my character, my image as a self made man, and in this thread of all threads, my professional stature.

I've got to give a pep talk today, individually, face-to-face. Can't be too positive as a couple of them are on reduced hours and I'm in no position to offer them full-time work. So will have will have to temper everything with let's wait and see what happens come springtime. Likely they'll know it's a fudge and their manager will be able to blame me for everything when I walk out the door. All of this could be handled with no meeting at all and a simple one line email would suffice. This is what happens when you extend your visit an extra day beyond what is necessary just so you can suck out the entertainment value of a trip with added cocktail hours and restaurant visits.
That reminds me of my trip to the States last year where Human Resources moved one of my staff's termination date to when I'd be in town to present to the local executives. Presentation - check. Termination - check. Staying back when my boss and boss' boss fly out before me for an extra day of burning the expense account on my favourite bars, driver, etc - check.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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That reminds me of my trip to the States last year where Human Resources moved one of my staff's termination date to when I'd be in town to present to the local executives. Presentation - check. Termination - check. Staying back when my boss and boss' boss fly out before me for an extra day of burning the expense account on my favourite bars, driver, etc - check.
That could of been a lot worse, I had to pitch one of the meetings to the noble struggle of workers again the evil bosses, as one of them has been brainwashed into being a full frontal lobotomized communist on account of her boyfriend. Good job I was warned before hand.

You get to booze on expenses?
Yeah baby: either team building, entertaining, or just for me all on my lonesome in the hotel. It helps to be the ultimate boss before the shareholders, so I sign-off the accounts and expenses. Not that it makes any difference: you can't expect international businessmen to sit around drinking tap water or lemonade.

What else would I be expensing?

I can't spend it on women and claim it as entertainment though. Perhaps Mr. Smith can.
No those days are long gone, one of my predecessors had his mistress on the company pay cheque. That was back in the 70s. Quite a few of my Italian bosses had their Kazakh mistresses paid for, that was back in the 2000's.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Fwiffo

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I suppose one way of looking at it, is that their hourly rate for actual working is rather good. The rest is hanging around time.
I remember back in the City there were these consultants for a thousand quid a day or something. I reckon it's okay as long as they deliver in the 3 hours of actual working time whilst the rest is spent at the pub.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Well my problem with the worker who emigrated on the sick keeps picking up steam. Now I am informed that we have up to 10 years to pay their salary, on top of the 2 years already paid. That one came up out of nowhere. As it happens, amongst the 7 different insurances covering staff labour, one covers this situation. The insurance company has now got involved and are not impressed.

The current government body position is this: we need to pay near enough full salary up to 2020 and they will reassess their fitness to return to work. However, they've already informed us they've emigrated. Also during this period we are meant to fill I'm documents on recovery and interface with this person. This absurd as the person has no intention of working for us, or returning to the Netherlands.

Anyway, it's no wonder no one wants to take any permanent staff on anymore, if your liability for sickness pay is a total of 12 years.

Fair play to the (ex)-employee, magnificent gaming of the system. And the Dutch are clever to let France and Italy take the wrap for having one sided employment laws, whilst all along the Dutch system is equally as weighted against small businesses and the employer.
 

Fwiffo

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Why are men always talking about office girls, admins and receptionists at work? You have no chance. Stop salivating over them.
 

Fwiffo

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If a man compliments another man at work every day. You have great hair. That suit looks wonderful on you. Your shoes are amazing. You smell great. That man is harassing the other man.

And if the man being harassed, the victim, responds and says, "You're a creep. Go away." - that's okay.
But if in an act of anger he says "I don't putt from the rough, go back to your gay rainbow village and stick it up their arse" - that apparently is harassment from the victim. Similar to no fault auto insurance during an accident.
 

Journeyman

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We have casual Friday every Friday. I wear jacket and tie every Friday. I am now concerned about resentments.
I think that I've mentioned this before, but when I turned up to start a new position a couple of years ago, I was met with people exclaiming "You're wearing a suit? And a tie?"

Mind you, one man in that office always wore a short-sleeved shirt, jeans and suede desert boots. The first week I was there, I wondered how much more casual he could get, but then he came in on Friday in a t-shirt, jeans and frayed sandshoes!
 

Fwiffo

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We have "dress for the day" Friday. Make of that what you will. Most people walk into the office as if they are farm hands or manual labour at the docks.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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I was at one of our top clients the other week and this is an organisation populated exclusively by those with Masters in engineering and hard sciences, all getting top dollar with bonuses and old time pensions on top. There's a myth that the canteen is the best restaurant in The Hague, well I can dismiss that rumour and it was a sea of real scruffy urchins and academics all gone wrong. Whilst you could see some of them wanted to give the work wear/foreman navvie and riveter look some gusto, all it made me think about was moving my shares.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Update on above: if I had shares in that company, I should have kept them there, gone up 35% since November.

Meanwhile, I find we now have KPI's for our anti-slavery and anti-human trafficking activities, or lack there of. When will this madness stop?
 
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Fwiffo

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I thought I made it to a point in my work life that if work was a British fighting square, I would be in the centre. Not the general but definitely a senior officer. Why do I find I'm the sergeant who upon a man falling down at the line I'm kneeling down filling his place and directing fire against the enemy? Shouldn't I just pass on the order to attack and that's that?
 

Thruth

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I thought I made it to a point in my work life that if work was a British fighting square, I would be in the centre. Not the general but definitely a senior officer. Why do I find I'm the sergeant who upon a man falling down at the line I'm kneeling down filling his place and directing fire against the enemy? Shouldn't I just pass on the order to attack and that's that?
you had a VP position in your pocket Lieutenant Colonel, but you wanted to stay with the non-coms in the bigger army, remember?
 

Fwiffo

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you had a VP position in your pocket Lieutenant Colonel, but you wanted to stay with the non-coms in the bigger army, remember?
That VP was a dangle. It was a promise but not a guarantee I would be a successor. And yes, smaller army. Much smaller battles.
 

Fwiffo

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I just discovered that some people in this company are classified as VIP which means if you request services, the person who shows up wears a tie. If people pull your name in this system, there is a yellow star next to your name and your name turns red.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Fighting big war at the moment with the retrograde forces denying the rapidly digitizing delivery of services with real time data streams synchronized with engineers, compliance and document control and idiots who are still hanging onto we'll get the information to you in a couple of days after internal review, but in the meantime we'll give you a call or flash email. And the classic: we can't do that because of ISO 9001.

Unfortunately, I am not Carillion or Interserve and borrow some money and just think about the next bonus and/or share price on a certain date and the rest of the organisation be damned.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Do you want to be Carillion? Didn't they go under?
It's the business model I am referring to: get lucrative government contracts to design, build, operate, run things and then sell back after 15-20 years and once the contract is secured borrow like crazy to give the directors inflated bonuses. A business like that and you only need to look at 5-6 years and then you're made and can leave well before the proverbial hits the fan.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Just had to deliver the coup de grace on the offshore renewable in-storage battery heated solar farms fiasco. A lot of misplaced hope and dreams were on this. But sadly, truth and reality cannot be ignored. Better get ready to ride the wave of the mega projects next year.
 

Fwiffo

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I swear to God this intern at work is mentally challenged even though he has a bachelors degree and I think a masters and is now going for a project management "diploma" at a community college. I gave him two different things to do all summer and he barely produced one and is struggling to understand the other. I gave you the end product. Just give me an up to date version of it. Bloody hell it's not that difficult.
 

Fwiffo

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As if I don't have enough issues someone in my department is now being accused by a woman for making her feel uncomfortable.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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Classic one today: someone took it upon themselves to translate an Italian government directive in Google translate - all 52 pages of it - then issued it to an Italian office to check the translation for them. The mind boggles that anyone would consider Google translate as a viable means of translating government statutes and articles of law.
 

Fwiffo

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Classic one today: someone took it upon themselves to translate an Italian government directive in Google translate - all 52 pages of it - then issued it to an Italian office to check the translation for them. The mind boggles that anyone would consider Google translate as a viable means of translating government statutes and articles of law.
No different than someone who wanted to translate an insurance policy document or verbiage on a public website. What's more hilarious is when the document is confidential and people paste bits of it into 'free' translation tools.
 
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