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But we all know how old you are and your birthday.
Shhhh...........
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But we all know how old you are and your birthday.
Global teleconference. I get on 5 minutes earlier. Attendance is taken before, at the start of the call and 7 minutes after the call starts. There are only 4 dial in numbers you can ring with one guest code and a host code that wasn't published to anyone except the host. Yet it still takes a good 15 minutes to get the call going. 15 minutes multiplied by how many executives and middle managers and account managers are on this call?
Why do you guys take attendance? Looks like kindergarten. We just have he call, if you weren't on there too bad for you, you better figure out what to do if it's relevant for you.
Global teleconference. I get on 5 minutes earlier. Attendance is taken before, at the start of the call and 7 minutes after the call starts. There are only 4 dial in numbers you can ring with one guest code and a host code that wasn't published to anyone except the host. Yet it still takes a good 15 minutes to get the call going. 15 minutes multiplied by how many executives and middle managers and account managers are on this call?
Last week some preliminary statistics from our division's satisfaction survey came out. A good -10 to -15 to -20% rated the company poor in giving them feedback, performance review updates, knowing where they stand, and all of that. Are you #*$#ing kidding me - I'm spending 6 hours every week doing one on ones and for the past three weekends I've been collecting statistics and compiling mid term appraisals for my staff. Most of them walk in to the review not putting a single word into the HR system or spending any effort. All of them I've prodded choosing something for training and development and coming up with a plan that we can track the coaching.
C'mon Fwiffs. Employees always whine about not being informed. But what they really mean is they think that they should be part of the management of the operation.
These conferences calls are they voice only or video too?
These conferences calls are they voice only or video too?
I loathe video calls. We have telepresence but it's a hassle to book it through our British Telecom software so I avoid it unless it's really necessary.
Otherwise I disabled the camera for Skype.
Yesterday I went to a 12pm career acceleration seminar. Human resources was introducing a new program where you have to get two executive sponsors then do some kind of exercise and you get to lead the initiative you propose. All of this would lead to gravy points when the next round of slots would open up.
I showed up a minute or two late (my direct's immediate family had a death so I was doing some consoling) so I took the seat that no one wanted - right in the centre and in the front of the room. It was full attendance from all sorts of folks - some individual contributors, an AVP, some mid level managers, so on and so forth. I sat next to this man who was in a short sleeve coloured dress shirt. No tie. He is busy using his own cutlery to chow down on some kebabs. It was so pungent it was nauseating. It didn't help he started pouring some off white sauce on it and it came with a Greek salad. It's a one hour session. Couldn't people for the sake of their own career potential avoid eating for one hour?! Otherwise why sign up for the lunch hour session? It was baffling.
In the latter half of said session, he is finally finished eating. The aroma lingers. He uses the paper napkins that came with his styrofoam box to wipe down his knife and fork. You have to picture this - some man wiping down a knife with a flimsy paper napkin in the middle of a session about career acceleration; the pinnacle of professionalism par excellence.
Yesterday I went to a 12pm career acceleration seminar. Human resources was introducing a new program where you have to get two executive sponsors then do some kind of exercise and you get to lead the initiative you propose. All of this would lead to gravy points when the next round of slots would open up.
I showed up a minute or two late (my direct's immediate family had a death so I was doing some consoling) so I took the seat that no one wanted - right in the centre and in the front of the room. It was full attendance from all sorts of folks - some individual contributors, an AVP, some mid level managers, so on and so forth. I sat next to this man who was in a short sleeve coloured dress shirt. No tie. He is busy using his own cutlery to chow down on some kebabs. It was so pungent it was nauseating. It didn't help he started pouring some off white sauce on it and it came with a Greek salad. It's a one hour session. Couldn't people for the sake of their own career potential avoid eating for one hour?! Otherwise why sign up for the lunch hour session? It was baffling.
In the latter half of said session, he is finally finished eating. The aroma lingers. He uses the paper napkins that came with his styrofoam box to wipe down his knife and fork. You have to picture this - some man wiping down a knife with a flimsy paper napkin in the middle of a session about career acceleration; the pinnacle of professionalism par excellence.
FTFYKebab odor vs stale booze & smokes smell. YMMV
I'll have you folks know between my morning shower, hair products (plural) and cologne I consistently violate my workplace's no scent policy.
I'll have you folks know between my morning shower, hair products (plural) and cologne I consistently violate my workplace's no scent policy.
You have a no scent policy? WTF.
Only natural body odours
Another organisation that is overly prescribing the work force. The type of place where they employ some IT deviant to spend his days watching what his fellow employees are looking at on the internet.
You have a no scent policy? WTF.
I've seen all kind of issues over the years: from falsified credentials, scams of one sort or another, ex-Bangkok Hilton drug dealing inmates storming an oil company, men going down with nervous breakdowns, fighting the unions, getting done over, being told to leave the oil patch if I valued my life, having to leave a factory in the trunk of car as the local police arrived, a paedo with a get out of jail card, steady men becoming alcoholic wrecks in the space of a few weeks, getting caught in cross fire on the way to work, a boss asking if he could give me a blow job, men in their 50s and 60s leaving marriages for exotic dancers, executives being bribed with Porsches/drugs/hookers. It goes on and on!
This thread is about dealing with employees. You keep talking about you being dealt with. That's different.
I have no interest in a stupid Great Dane but I would appreciate the blog address to find out the best spliff in Netherlands and accompanying great USA country music.
Thanks in anticipation.
If they are good at their work - do the credentials matter?There's always one or two who get by on BS, hot air and fake credentials: very keen chap, worked for an associate a long time, big grandiose Mission Statement with his CV, graduated summa cum laude all of that stuff. And on asking for copies of his credentials and technical qualifications I get the whole dog ate my home work routine i.e. certificates stolen from his car and the college he went to has burnt down.
I suppose it makes a change from a first class honours degree from the notorious diploma mill that is the University of Canterbury (Seychelles).
I worked with an English guy who claimed his uni burnt down and he had no record of completing his degree. I was never aware of any other falsehoods, so I almost gave him the benefit of the doubt.
If they are good at their work - do the credentials matter?
I worked with an English guy who claimed his uni burnt down and he had no record of completing his degree. I was never aware of any other falsehoods, so I almost gave him the benefit of the doubt.
My parents' neighbour said their son was studying at a community college campus affiliated with some pony uni miles away. The campus, after being open for a few years, closed down due to low attendance. I made a snide remark what kind of degree is this their son is pursuing that the entire campus shuts down. I don't remember Oxford, Cambridge or Harvard closing down.