Fucked Walker In The Face
Look, if you were at some amazing concert and you want to rock that band's shirt, or you're doing the hipster thing of wearing vintage band shirts, and you're out at a bar, then just run with it. A dive-y bar, mind you. Not a fancy joint.I'm of the 't-shirts are underwear' school, so I was thinking of all the event/organization tees that have been thrust on me. Rarely worn and only for slumming.
I see your argument, and raise you:No such thing as ironically cool. If you are wearing a funny shirt, it's probably the funniest thing about you. If you are over 30, your tshirts should be solid or near solid. If there is a story, then you are wearing the story, not the shirt, and exceptions can be made.
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
I hate to bring this one up over Mr. Chase's more recent addition, but I feel that Mr. Monochrome in the scoop neck tee, ridiculously tapered jeans, and wee little canvas sneakers needs a mention. I realize that you share my facial profile and hairline, but I can see the outline of both front pockets quite clearly, and did you tuck in your shoe laces?
It wasn't Buzz Bissinger (author of "Friday Night Lights" and reformed fashion addict), was it?I also saw a man - probably leaving a psych appointment - wearing women's fashion boots. Could not get a pic. But brown leather with pointy toe and a 1 to 2 inch spiked heel