Chain letters, scammers, and other unwanted e-mails


Eating his po boy w/oyster,petrosyan caviar,& gold
ITT, we share stuff we've somehow received in our inboxes.

***Really, don't be a dumbass and click any links in here***

This one is mildly amusing...
By Junius P. Long
Food For Thought
If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally, you live in a country run by idiots.
If you have to get your parents' permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion, you live in a country run by idiots.
If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor or check out a library book, but not to vote on who runs the government, you live in a country run by idiots.
If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy leaders in Egypt, you live in a country run by idiots.
If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat,you live in a country run by idiots.
If an 80-year-old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched,you live in a country run by idiots.
If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more, you live in a country run by idiots.
If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of grade school
for saying his teacher's "cute," but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable, you live in a country run by idiots.
If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing and free cell phones, you live in a country run by idiots.
If the government's plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working, with 99 weeks of unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can't find work, you live in a country run by idiots.
If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more " safe" according to the government, you live in a country run by idiots.
If you are offended by this article, you probably voted for the idiots who are running our country into the ground.
Last edited by a moderator:
Urgent court notice No#3860

Notice to Appear,

To view copy of the court notice click here. Please, read it thoroughly. Note: If you do not attend the hearing the judge may hear the case in your absence.

2014 Green Winick, P.L.C. All Rights Reserved.
Re: Someone-ran a background-scan on you.

Hello [redacted],

It was brought to our attention that someone-ran a background-scan on you. You can find out
more today by visiting the link below.

Go Here Now to Find Out More:

Service Center

Dear customer,

You have not paid for driving on a toll road. This invoice is sent repeatedly,
please service your debt in the shortest possible time.

The invoice can be downloaded here.

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The English is sent repeatedly. We are not in Ukraine. We swear repeatedly.

To All Citizens in Canada

You are receiving this communication because you have been identified as an Expert in your area of activity. We invite you to join the Canada Strategic Team. If you are a Dreamer who loves, a Lover who dreams, please do send us your one-paragraph biography to 2,955 Expert Dreamers from 197 countries and territories have already joined the best team designed to serve the long-term public interest of society.



THE OFFICE OF JP MONFORT | Welcomes Dreamers to the Future |

At a press conference around that time, Truman was asked what the United States would get for its aid to Europe. We are not doing this for credit, Truman told the members of the National Conference of Editorial Writers. We are doing it because it is right and it's necessary.

--- Greg Behrman, The Most Noble Adventure

This message and any attachment are confidential and may be privileged or otherwise protected from disclosure. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete this message and any attachment from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy this message or attachment or disclose the contents to any other person. The intended recipient should be a dreamer who loves and a lover who dreams. If you do not still dream and love, you are encouraged to begin dreaming and loving at your earliest convenience.You are receiving this communication because you have been identified as an Expert in your country. If you no longer wish to receive communications from this Office, please send an empty email with the email address you wish to remove in the subject field to remove.canada (at) monfortcloa (dot) us
If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy this message or attachment or disclose the contents to any other person. The intended recipient should be a dreamer who loves and a lover who dreams
So you are the intended recipient!


Hello Greetings,

I Know This Message Will Come to You as a Surprise.Please do welcome
the letter and help me out as you finish reading.I am Mr Phillip Ganu
the principal treasury officer with one of the prime banks here in
Cote d’Ivoire, West Africa,

I Need Your Urgent Assistance In Transferring The Sum Of
(18,200,000.00)million, To Your Account. This Money Has Been Dormant
For Years In Our Bank Without Claim. As you have the same last name
with him. I Want The Bank To Release The Money To You As The Nearest
Person To Our Deceased Customer.

Upon Your Reply. I Will give you details on how the business Will be
executed,and Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest
assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us
because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your
country. In your return mail, please do forward your information as
listed below if you are willing to complete this deal with me, to
enable me put the total fund in your name

Your full name:
Your contact address:
Your phone number:
Date of Birth:

I wait for your urgent reply with the above info of yours.

Best Regards,
Mr Phillip Ganu

Good day,

I am Mr. Frank Duam, a financial consultant attached to natwestbank plc investments international, a fund management company with over US$2,000,000,000.00 (Two Billion United States Dollars) capital investment fund. I handle all our investor's direct capital funds and extracts 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (EMRCP) per annum on each of the Investor's Marginal Capital Fund. As an expert in this profession, I have funds amounting to US$25,000,000.00 (Twenty-Five Million United States Dollars) from the Investor's EMRCP and hereby looking for someone to trust who will stand as an Investor to receive the fund as Annual Investment Proceeds from natwestbank plc Marginal Capital Fund for our own partnership business investment in his/her country.

All confirmable documents to support this Investment Fund will be made available to you. Meanwhile, I have worked out the modalities and technicalities so that the funds can be claimed in any of our six clearing houses without any hitches. All I require is your honest co-operation. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement and no government involvement at all.

It is very important you include your contact address, telephone and fax number for easy communication sent to my private email email address:

Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours fatefully,

Frank Duam

Attn: Winner,

Your e-mail address was among the Star Pick from an Automated Ballot System, which means you are entitled to receive the Grand Reward of Ј1.7 Million GBP. The Prize is as a result of Reward Program for the Patronage of World Wide Internet Users Promotional Draw conducted in England by Google Inc. In order to claim your Prize; you are required to send your information as follows to enable me process your claim.

1. First Names
2. Last Name
3. Complete Address
4. Phone Number
5. Mobile Phone
6. Occupation
7. Age
8. Nationality


Nelson J. Bruce
Notification Officer Google Inc.
The last time I engaged the Nigerians, they did send me a photo of the locker full of cash that was tied up in customs at the airport.
Bonjour ami,

This letter is aim at drawing your attention and bring to your notice that you have been appointed to be part of my Bettencourt Schueller Foundation to reach out to the poor and needy around the world.

Get back to me for more information on this course.

Best Regards.
Mrs. Liliane Bettencourt.`
Dear Friend

I am Mrs Helena Smith. I am a US citizen and i am 37 years Old. I reside
here in 1051 Site Dr.Brea, CA 92821 USA. and i am thinking of relocating
since I am now rich.

I am one of those that took part in the United Nations Compensation
program in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me. I had paid
over $20,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment but all was to no

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents,
And I was directed to meet Barrister Mark Ruben, who is the member of
COMPENSATION AWARD AUTHORITY and a Human Rights Activist (Lawyer), and I
contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is
contacting us through emails are fake.

He also said who ever is contacting us through emails are fake. He also took me
to the paying bank (United Bank Of Africa) for the claim of my
compensation payment.

Right now, I am the happiest woman on earth because I have received my
compensation funds of $14.6 Million United stae Dollars, Barrister Mark Ruben
showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and
i saw your email as one of the beneficiaries who have not yet received the payment
under CASE FILE 54AC003 and that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with
those people they are all fake.

They are not with your fund, they are only making money off you.

Therefore, i would advise you to contact Barrister Mark Ruben for
assistance and inform him that your CASE FILE is 54AC003. Contact her
directly via the information below.

Name : Barrister Mark Ruben
Contact Number: +234-8103986059

You are hereby advised to contact Barrister Mark Ruben with the following
informations below

1. Your Names in full.
2. Your Occupation.
3. your Residential Address.
4. Your Place and date of birth.
5. Your Telephone and fax Number

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you
and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with
them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until
you have nothing.

The only money I paid after I met Barrister Mr.Mark Ruben was just $390 for
the paper works, take note of that.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

Mrs Helena Smith
Trustee/Treasurer, Triad Foundation Inc.
1051 Site Dr.Brea, CA 92821 USA
Education: BS, Business Administration
People always be losing their boxes of cash and gold!

My name is Mrs.Elizabeth Adgei I am an officer at the Kotoka International Airport, Accra, Ghana.About two weeks ago, I Discovered five boxes in our custody which have not be claimed and left abandoned for over 2 year by now and there is less likelihood that somebody will come to claim the same.These unclaimed boxes will be taken away by Treasury of Ghana Government after 3 years if not claimed before that.

I have scanned the boxes privately and found out that , the two ( 2) boxes contain Gold 50kg another 100kg in bars respectively, and the others two contain spendable cash of$100 bills.Because of the sensitive nature of the consignments in our possession, we have decided to do away with the Gold and $35.5m.

My internal investigation showed that the owners abandoned those boxes because there were not sufficient documents to back the same.Upon going through the official records of seizure, it was again found out that the telephone numbers of those
owners are not working any more or non-existent.

Under these circumstances, we are looking for a prospective to make this deal secretly and immediately in another country.I am in a position to export the goods with proper documentation from Accra Airport. If you are interested or you have somebody who can assist me capitalizing on this venture, I will be highly pleased.From the sale proceeds you can have 40% for yourself and balance 60% I will have it for me and my office people.

Please send me your ID copy along with your mobile numbers and address so that I can start preparing myself.I will erase the records from our office computer and substitute your details and make the records of ownership in your name, so that the same
cannot be traced back again to the absconders.

Besides, please let me know, in which country is convenient for you so that we can do this deal.

Mrs. Elizabeth Adgei.

Contact me on this very email id'
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VS2010 isn't exactly what I'd call speedy. Also note I said "most" and "usually". And, of course, that performance was a huge problem during the development of VS2010, as documented on various MSDN blogs. The current performance level (which really isn't impressive) wasn't easily achieved, and most WPF apps I've seen neckbeard is strong). Yep, MS definitely did put off optimization towards the end of 2010 (that's why it was delayed, IIRC). Of course, that's usually considered a good thing. The main issue I have with your statement is 've got a stupid little POS WPF app that has pretty damned complex UI designed for a touchscreen that runs on a relatively ancient vanilla Dell p4 with a gig of memory and XP. And it manages to keep up the pace in a busy bar simply "screw hardware acceleration, what matters is perceived performance". I never said anything about whether it was easy to code and maintain, I never said "WPF is evil, and must be burned at the stake". I never said that I hate
d it, or that I don't appreciate it. But someone above suggested that WPF is better because it is I don't know if I can express it much clearer. You come across like a rabid fanboy though, which isn't making it eaiser. Rather than blindly defending WPF against (non-existent) criticism, read what I wrote. I never said WPF Also, MS did not put off optimization until the end. It was an ongoing priority, they just failed at it until near the end, and it's hardly a good thing when it forces the product to be delayed. Again, they documented pretty thoroughly on blogs and elsewhere that they focused on performance from day 1, and they thought they were Not a rabid fanboi, just tired of fud. Responding to your comparison of dissimilar things resulting in your opinion that "WPF at best achieves parity" and that the current performance level of 2010 isn't "impressive." I base my statements on when performance was concentrated on comes from scottgu; I leave it to when you start doing more imp
ressive things like using shaders or animation or HD video that video acceleration better than WinForms, but it feels like there's something slowing it down, and when pressing hard, it shows. Occasional lags add up. As of Qt, Qt uses native controls so it depends on the OS. I'm not comparing their perf, they're based on different technologies (and IE9 still lags in UX behind Chrome despite hw acceleration), I just Qt is cross-platform and this is something that will count in the near future. MS time is over, better start irrelevant if it doesn't make the apps actually feel faster". WPF uses hardware acceleration to improve fidelity, not just performance. So that point is obviously not irrelevant.
Oh such a nice try.
Service Center

Dear customer,

You have not paid for driving on a toll road. This invoice is sent repeatedly,
please service your debt in the shortest possible time.

Get Invoice

Terms & Conditions | Site Map | Privacy Policy | Phishing Policy 2014 E-ZPass

Latest News:
Golf: Ryder Cup wives 'like stars'
A spot of shopping, the odd spa day and some serious flag waving. Welcome to the life of a Ryder Cup WAG.

usually the e-mail account is dead by the time you try, as they are just set up to get the link out..
Ha ha ha. I love life sometimes.


Just ran an idiot that called me from India or Pakistan or wherever the fuck absolutely ragged. Fucking ragged.

These guys called me pretending to be Microsoft support warning me that I needed to fix critical errors on my PC. After a while I was transferred to a "senior representative" who I toyed with for a good 20 minutes acting like I was totally scared about all these problems I was seeing in my event viewer.

Finally this donkey directed me to this team viewer website and wanted me to install a remote control session tool... this piece of shit kept saying "sir I don't see your computer, can you try again"... finally I told him he was a stupid motherfucker to think I'd fall for this and he should get a real job... I cussed him out until he finally hung up.

That was the best.

Oh... guess where they're from:

TeamViewer US LLC
3001 North Rocky Point Drive East
Suite 200
Tampa, FL 33607
Some goodies today.
NEW SAFETY NOTICE #23165101385.

--AUTOMATED NOTICE NO.231651012345--.

[Russell Street's e-mail address],

(THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE). The reason that you're receiving this automated-correspondence right now is to notify you that a child-predator has just moved into your-area. (This information was gathered by using your local zip-code). When a registered-child-offender takes up residence in a new neighborhood, this information becomes public.

Visit here to learn everything you can about this registered-child-offender:


Your Password will expire in 3 Days Click Here to Validate your Email and extend Password.

System Administrator
Dear Brothers and Sisters, peace be with you in the mighty name of our lord Jesus Christ, Amen!

I have a little or no prayer request to help you fight and conquer obstacles laid down against you by your enemies.

No matter what your problems are, send us your prayer request online, and receive your healing by faith, after 3 days of spiritual incantation and breakthrough. "come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Witness the salvation of God in the name of our lord Jesus Christ, and let us hear your testimonies.

Cases like: H.I.V/AIDS, Cancer, Tuberculosis, Staphylococcus, Barrenness, Deaf and Dumb, Blindness, Stroke, Impotency, Madness, Bed-wetting, Delay in Marriage, Spirit Husband and Spirit Wife.

Diabetic, Pile, Fibroid, Epilepsy, Hunch Back, Sickle Cell, Hepatitis, Kidney and Liver Problems, Broken Marriages. Paralysis, High Blood Pressure, Hernia, Appendicitis, Curses Being Broken, and many more.


In the mighty names of our Lord Jesus we pray, amen! may Almighty GOD grant you salvation, as we receive your pray request in Jesus name.

Rev. Jake Phillips.

If you need prayes, kindly Send us your prayer request at

Peace be with you. John. 20:21
My Divine call From Mrs. Kraidy Vetro.

Greetings in name of our Lord. I am Mrs Kraidy Vetro, 69years old widow, suffering from long time cancer of the blood. I have the sum $ 5.1 millions US Dollars i want to donate it for you to use it to help the poor and the needs. email me for more information on How you Will Get my Charity Donation
Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Kraidy Vetro.

I am Capt.Rolt Hall an officer of the U.S Army, and I have some items I need to ship to you.Can you be trusted to handle some serious and confidential transactions?I am willing to share more information about this project with you as soon as I get a response from you .


I am Capt.Rolt Hall an officer of the U.S Army, and I have some items I need to ship to you.Can you be trusted to handle some serious and confidential transactions?I am willing to share more information about this project with you as soon as I get a response from you .


Do it, more documents for Wikileaks
This seems to be a new one this year.
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I think this movie was a lot more difficult to pull off than many of the others. I was fairly confident between Spike Jonze being a solid director (and this was definitely in his wheelhouse) and Joaquin Phoenix giving so many solid performances lately, but this film more than most others could have turned out terrible rather than just merely average. I can. It completely sold me on Samantha being a complete character, no questions asked. The script, especially the dialogue, was incredible. You said the lighting, but I would define it as photography was stunning, especially the use of color. On top of all of that, it managed to connect with me on a deeply personal and emotional level (subjective, but hey, so is everything). I loved, loved, loved it as a film.​
I am Mrs Karolin Wolfram 81-years living in United Kingdom, who God has touched in a glorious way to fulfill His blessing toward charity / mankind. I have asked God for forgiveness and I believed He has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation on Friday, which the doctor has indirectly said is 50/50 chance of surviving after diagnosis me with Cancer in three (3) years ago. Read Romans 1:16-17 I have decided to WILL/donate my late husband entitlement of $11.8Million USD (Eleven Million Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars) which I inherited from him to you for the good work of God and to serve His divine purpose and favor to humanity as that has be my late husband unfinished work before his death. Recently, my Family members have engrossed into my late husband's inherited funds after receiving the message from the doctor that I might not survive the operation. They want me dead to enable them inherit the fund for their selfish interest, and I we not allow that to happen.

I am only privilege to send you this letter with the help of a lady nurse here who has be so kind to me believing that a total stranger like you can fulfill my last wish to humanity. All I ask from you is to make sure that you use this fund for the work of God to fulfill His divine purpose and favor to humanity. It is clear that I don’t know you BUT God known you more than I can ever do. For this purpose I bow my knees and pray for you, May the Lord bless you abundantly as you fulfill this mystery toward charity and Humanitarian service. Thus, you are to use 60% of the funds for this Humanitarian Mission while 10% goes to my family Lawyer and 30% goes to you for your faithfulness toward God and mankind. Lastly, I want you to pray for me regarding my health situation, because I have come to find out that to everything there is a season; and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1–8) May the Grace of our Lord, the love of God, and the sweet fellowship of th
e Holy Spirit be with you now and forever more, Amen. I we send you the information of my lawyer once i hear from you.

Yours Faithfully
Mrs Karolin Wolfram
Sigh, people do fall for this bullshit. The English is good. But really, someone would fall for "not using your online banking for three days"? Ooh, I best log on and straighten this out. Derp. Certain limitation? Like I am supposed to guess?


Dear Customer,

Certain limitations have been placed on your account.
You are required to perform a short security verification.
This may be due to the following

1.Using a shared computer to access your online banking.
2.Making unverified transactions from an unknown ip address
3.Not logging off after online banking usage.
4.Not using your online banking for 3 days

Click here to login and get updated

Best Regards
Copyright © 2015 RBC Bank
I frequently get these in the name of business I do no business with (Verizon Wireless, Chase) and I laugh and laugh. The one time I had a legit Discover card e-mail warning of suspicious activity. I decided to call the number on the back of the card, just to be sure. As soon as I plunked in my account number, the call transferred over to the fraud department and thus I knew I was not dealing with scammies.

I did lose about $12k when I fell for the "steam cleaning the vaults" scam.
Not sure how they knew my stash of embryos was running low

Dear Investigator,

Our transgenic embryo promotion has extended - Save 15% on your next transgenic embryo project!

You can contract us to perform your entire transgenic embryo project from initial strategy design and DNA vector construction to transgenic embryo delivery. The option to provide your own DNA vector for injection is also available.

Learn more today byrequesting a quote ! A free transgenic strategy will be provided for projects that need vector construction. You may also speak to our experts at 800-921-8930 or +1 408-969-0306 for international customers.

Don’t forget to claim your 15% off couponand provide the coupon code upon quote request!

Cyagen Biosciences
2255 Martin Ave Suite E
Santa Clara, CA 95050
Tel: 800-921-8930 or
+1 408-969-0306 (Int’l)
Fax: 408-969-0336
Oh, that's for lab experiments, not personal fertility. I was a bit confused after checking the definition of transgenic.

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