Christmas 2015

Fwiffo

Comes off as a condescending prick
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Continuing my tradition of making a thread every year for Christmas, I'm wondering what other folks are doing you Buddhists and Christians, Muslims and Jews, Yazidis and Zoroaster followers, atheists and Santa worshippers as well.

I posted all of my Christmas cards by US Thanksgiving and I've just sent all my electronic cards. All of the gifts save one are wrapped. All of my staff have their token gift cards, and a handwritten thank you. The department party is booked on Monday. A secondary one on Tuesday. The division party was held earlier. I had my Christmas party at the Fairmont for being VIP drinker or tipper - I never sort out on which basis I'm invited. I turned down a bunch of professional parties being the hermit I was. I have my pagan solstice party this weekend.

On Christmas Eve, I shall be praying in front of a bottle at the men's only club next door to work when early dismissal happens. I will get just sloshed enough to take the last of the early homebound trains to my parents' house.

On Christmas Day, I will play Santa at lunch and distribute gifts to the good little Muslim children, actually just one child. Last year she was telling me all about the dreidel; cosmopolitan city par excellence.

Later that day is the main event. It appears some of my grown cousins are no longer thinking of only taking advantage of cheap Christmas travel and are making an appearance at my family's holiday party. Or perhaps they are being selfish and need money and things to pawn to make their next booking. My parents lost out hosting it so it will be hosted five minutes walking distance from my family home at my aunt's (yet again). I count a party that is close to twenty. It'll be a grand time again when dinner is finished and some of them men linger and shuffle up to indulge in brandy, whisky and cigars. Oh right and there are gifts, but as my parents' generation retires and I'm one of the chief breadwinners, it's really not working out to be a straight upwards trajectory in gifts given versus gifts received these days.

On Boxing Day morning, I continue my tradition of roaming around stores at 6am without purchasing much of anything with my father and then finding out McDonald's is the only thing open before 9am on the day after. In the afternoon, Boxing Day fixtures at the pub, Arsenal and Southampton with a good mate of mine and a few pints or more of London Pride.

That sounds about right yes..
 
Godless atheist here. Driving out to BC to visit the Missus, Dogs & Donks. Leaving Christmas Eve and will get there Christmas Day if I don't die on the Coquihalla (Highway from Hell that is on the TV show)

First time in 10 years no presents and no wrapping for me. Just $$ for the kids & their spawn.

No gift for the old lady except for delivering her Cherokee and some shit from home. Will hang out and fly back in time to go back to work.

No turkey, no ham. Missus wants McD's if it is open.

Peace and quiet. No screaming grandkids fighting over each other's gifts. No fucking clean up after dinner. No running around collecting wrapping paper because they all just rip, tear and throw like Indians
 
Militant Evangelical neo Agnostic here.

Had one side of the family xmas 2 weeks ago. In park down country. None of them can get it together enough to have it at their house. This year was rather sophisticated - most made there own food to bring. (Previously it had been all McDonalds and KFC purchased on the way. Late. One year it was at the cheapest All You Can Eat buffet around - one I imagine Homer Simpson would eat at.)

Anyway it went off well. I dint drink alcohol which limited my sneering snarkastic asides. And none of them tried to convert me and Save My Soul. Somehow it was decided no presents. An improvement on the previous arrangement whereby some (us) bought no one any presents, on the basis we never knew who had another kid or had re partnered with a few extra, or so on, and those who could least afford it, the welfare mob, bought a present for every kid of all ages!

Also an improvement this year as we all sat together at a table or two. Previously there was 5 groups of people maximum distance apart cautiously eyeing each other off while kids tried to dive out of trees and break their neck or fall into the lake. Only bummer was the obvious evidence that multiple tattoos over legs arms torso etc looks worse as you get over 25 and become almost as wide as you are tall.

Next Sunday my, slightly, more sophisticated, (we read books and stuff) side get together . At the inner hipster urban beach side house of a sibling.
I'm taking 2 x overseas visitors who are staying with us. Should be around 30 people. Not clear if there will be any big rows about politics, family or just stuff. One sibling actually stood for a political seat here during the year. Lets just say it wasn't a mainstream progressive party. No one has mentioned it so far.

The state is sweltering - 35C yesterday - 38C today - 41C tomorrow and hot nights. Likely to be bushfires. Sunday - day of family xmas - forecast 35C+ then thunderstorm. Back to 21C Monday.

Wish me Merry Xmas. Baby.
 
Thruth sounds like he's doing a courier run for Christmas. I won't ask about why there's a distance.

Fxh is doing a bunch of stuff except on the actual day.

I was half heartedly joking about McDonald's, but I guess I shouldn't be. We discovered it one year when Boxing Day shopping started at 5am and we couldn't find anything to eat at 7am. I don't remember the last time I was at KFC. The last time I had fried chicken was at a restaurant with white table cloths for lunch @ $25 - it was one of the cheapest entrees on the lunch menu.
 
I remember the Moses part from the Chinese food. Star Wars? Okay.

7 days till Christmas!!!!! and I'm stone cold sober...
 
Agnostic capitalist here

I'll be in the office for most of the holiday season. No Christmas parties, but I'll probably prepare a nice home cooked meal on the 25th. Back in the office on Boxing Day.
 
Thruth sounds like he's doing a courier run for Christmas. I won't ask about why there's a distance.

Fxh is doing a bunch of stuff except on the actual day.

I was half heartedly joking about McDonald's, but I guess I shouldn't be. We discovered it one year when Boxing Day shopping started at 5am and we couldn't find anything to eat at 7am. I don't remember the last time I was at KFC. The last time I had fried chicken was at a restaurant with white table cloths for lunch @ $25 - it was one of the cheapest entrees on the lunch menu.

because my wife cannot stand the winters here anymore. seasonal affective disorder to the max
 
I'll be in the office for most of the holiday season. No Christmas parties, but I'll probably prepare a nice home cooked meal on the 25th. Back in the office on Boxing Day.

Are you in the hospitality industry?

Don't you get at least get the actual day off - it's a Saturday?
 
You must be in company of a bunch of Orthodox Christians. I think the Hindus and the rest of us lot celebrate the 25th.
 
Successful Street party to-night. Street blocked 4pm. Kids go crazy. Adults bbq and booze from 5pm. Me home 2.30am after a Fwiffo ish booze intake and forced ingestion of dope by neighbour.
 
What's "Fwiffo-ish booze intake"?

I split two bottles of red and a half bottle of apple liqueur with three people last night. Then had a shot of whisky. I'm taking it easy.
 
What's "Fwiffo-ish booze intake"?

I split two bottles of red and a half bottle of apple liqueur with three people last night. Then had a shot of whisky. I'm taking it easy.

That is like Charles Bukowski "taking it easy"
 
I've finished the first part of my Christmas parties. Just have another one on Boxing Day, and a belated one after that. Christmas Day is the big one.

I've been making out pretty well except the one on Monday.
 
I'm getting boxes and chocolates and wine and other gifts from vendors. What do I do with this? I don't even eat chocolate much.
 
I'm getting boxes and chocolates and wine and other gifts from vendors. What do I do with this? I don't even eat chocolate much.
Come on Fwiffers. Give it to the ladies next time they come over.

^ this

I re-gift all corporate gifts i get. Usually open candy or foodstuffs and let the staff eat.

Booze, unless it is good, and it rarely is, will be given to someone without standards.
 
Have Christmas Eve off. Going to a friend's house in the afternoon, then church at 4:00, then driving out to mother-in-law's for the best fucking Southern cooking I've ever had anywhere. So delicious. And she's a lot of fun. Will probably go out drinking afterward if the wife is amenable to watching the baby. Which she will be because I had the foresight to volunteer to babysit last night and the night before so she could go out.

Christmas morning - open gifts then go to the father-in-law's and spend a few hours wanting to beat my face in with a shovel to end the misery. FIL will spend most of the time complaining histrionically and overemotionally about how the world is out to get him and he just doesn't know why he can't ever get ahead and every one is homophobic and that's why he's never promoted. At some point, his mother will call my 120 lbs wife "fat" or "husky" (no, I'm not joking) and I'll snap and go off on her and spend the rest of the time there in my car reading.
 
I'm getting boxes and chocolates and wine and other gifts from vendors. What do I do with this? I don't even eat chocolate much.

It could be worse. When I get gifts I either have to return them, or send the giver a check for the fair market value of the gift. The birth of my child cost me almost a $1,000 just dealing with people sending me gifts.
 
It could be worse. When I get gifts I either have to return them, or send the giver a check for the fair market value of the gift. The birth of my child cost me almost a $1,000 just dealing with people sending me gifts.
I find the idea of you grumbling about having to pay back people who you don't give a shit about for things that you have no fucking interest in oddly hilarious.
 
Starting today I get the holiday season off, go in on the 30th to see a client, then on more day off after that, back on the first.
This year we celebrate on Christmas Eve. Shopping is nearly finished. Just exchanged gifts at work and was let out early today.
 
Starting today I get the holiday season off, go in on the 30th to see a client, then on more day off after that, back on the first.
This year we celebrate on Christmas Eve. Shopping is nearly finished. Just exchanged gifts at work and was let out early today.
You got a nice black girl to snuggle up with?
 
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You got a nice back girl to snuggle up with?
Nope, only exchanging pleasantries with various female friends this year, no woman outside of my family deserves a thing from me.
 
I find the idea of you grumbling about having to pay back people who you don't give a shit about for things that you have no fucking interest in oddly hilarious.

With a few exceptions, that's the case. "Wow, thanks so much for the gift basket of "Fresh from Florida" orange marmalade you sent me. My secretary is going to LOVE researching the approximate value of this so I can send a check to the industry organization you represent."

Another time, I worked all day, tended to family, and then drove to Orlando to do a "leader's breakfast" and then serve on a panel. I get to the hotel at midnight, exhausted but looking forward to a baby-free night of sleep before waking up at 5:45 am. Just falling off to sleep when room service knocks on my door with a cheese plate.

"I didn't order that."
"You sure about that?"
"Yes, I'm absolutely sure I didn't order a cheese plate at 12:30 on a Tuesday night. Please, take it away."
"Oh, well.... oh, it says here it's from Vanessa."
"Who's Vanessa?"
"Our hospitality manager. It's compliments of the hotel."
"I can't take gifts. State law."
"No, it's free."
"I know, most gifts are. I can't take it."
"Well, I'll just set it down here and you can decide what to do with it."
"Please, take it to the break room or something. I don't want it."

Took a good five minutes to get him to go away. Granted, it's probably the ultimate in "First World Problems", but it is hilarious at times.

Honestly, the last really pleasurable gift receiving experience I got from someone I'm not related to was you.
 
I think alastair sim's Christmas Carol is the best christmas movie around. Thoughts?

scrooge.png
 
One of my favourite watering holes is closed. Back to the cocktail club. Christmas is throwing my schedule off.
 
Come on Fwiffers. Give it to the ladies next time they come over.

They're not over that much and since the harem I go with are size 4 or less, they don't eat much either.

I re-gift all corporate gifts i get. Usually open candy or foodstuffs and let the staff eat.

Booze, unless it is good, and it rarely is, will be given to someone without standards.

I took Thruth's advice, but I still have a cologne, studs, and another Godiva chocolate.


It could be worse. When I get gifts I either have to return them, or send the giver a check for the fair market value of the gift. The birth of my child cost me almost a $1,000 just dealing with people sending me gifts.

I'm not a public official. I tell vendors this, "I'm very susceptible to bribes. Very susceptible."
 
They're not over that much and since the harem I go with are size 4 or less, they don't eat much either.



I took Thruth's advice, but I still have a cologne, studs, and another Godiva chocolate.




I'm not a public official. I tell vendors this, "I'm very susceptible to bribes. Very susceptible."

If cheap cologne, send to Arnathor Arnathor

You have black tie, no? You can use the studs?

Godiva to homeless guy on your way home
 
I'll never turn down Polo or Modern Reserve if you got it.
 
That means committing that anathema known as meeting me. You did turn me down with me being only a block away. I think I'm close to out drinking most of this bar even on a festive night.
 
That means committing that anathema known as meeting me. You did turn me down with me being only a block away. I think I'm close to out drinking most of this bar even on a festive night.

Mail it or put it on the bus to Hamilton
 

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