Dating Life & Hookup Stories

Monkeyface

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LA dating is weird. It seems like the girls here prefer mini-relationships. Dating consists of very intense, but short interactions, lasting from a few days to a week or two. They’ll be all over you for that period, constantly wanting to hang out, texting you, telling you all kinds of very personal things and wanting to do all the things that couples usually do. Then, out of the blue, you’ll get a text that they’re not interested or there was no spark or the standard “it’s me not you” thing.

I don’t really understand it, but I’m not entirely opposed to this either, as it’s almost effortless on my part and it’s interesting moving through all the relationship steps in a week rather than the many months it usually takes and it’s fun to intimately (if you catch my drift) get to know all kinds of different girls simultaneously, but it’s happened 5 times in a row now. I have a few more atm, and I’m expecting one of texts at any time now.
Is this the new new normal?

Rambo Rambo what's your take on this?
 
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Rambo

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LA dating is weird. It seems like the girls here prefer mini-relationships. Dating consists of very intense, but short interactions, lasting from a few days to a week or two. They’ll be all over you for that period, constantly wanting to hang out, texting you, telling you all kinds of very personal things and wanting to do all the things that couples usually do. Then, out of the blue, you’ll get a text that they’re not interested or there was no spark or the standard “it’s me not you” thing.

I don’t really understand it, but I’m not entirely opposed to this either, as it’s almost effortless on my part and it’s interesting moving through all the relationship steps in a week rather than the many months it usually takes and it’s fun to intimately (if you catch my drift) get to know all kinds of different girls simultaneously, but it’s happened 5 times in a row now. I have a few more atm, and I’m expecting one of texts at any time now.
Is this the new new normal?

Rambo Rambo what's your take on this?
Hmm. Are you fucking all of these women? Are you asking anything of them in regards to said relationship? LA's a weird bag so its entirely possible you're just running with the floozies at the outset here. What types of women are you going on dates with? Actresses? Waitresses? Lawyers? There's a few variables at play here.

I will say that I'm impressed with your growth so far in regards to your personal life. I have a feeling that if you would have had this happen to you when you joined the forum you wouldn't be taking it in stride like this. So kudos to you.
 

viaattovannucci

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LA dating is weird. It seems like the girls here prefer mini-relationships. Dating consists of very intense, but short interactions, lasting from a few days to a week or two. They’ll be all over you for that period, constantly wanting to hang out, texting you, telling you all kinds of very personal things and wanting to do all the things that couples usually do. Then, out of the blue, you’ll get a text that they’re not interested or there was no spark or the standard “it’s me not you” thing.

I don’t really understand it, but I’m not entirely opposed to this either, as it’s almost effortless on my part and it’s interesting moving through all the relationship steps in a week rather than the many months it usually takes and it’s fun to intimately (if you catch my drift) get to know all kinds of different girls simultaneously, but it’s happened 5 times in a row now. I have a few more atm, and I’m expecting one of texts at any time now.
Is this the new new normal?

Rambo Rambo what's your take on this?
This has been exactly my experience. It may well be an LA thing, but I don't know much of anything else.
 

viaattovannucci

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LA dating is weird. It seems like the girls here prefer mini-relationships. Dating consists of very intense, but short interactions, lasting from a few days to a week or two. They’ll be all over you for that period, constantly wanting to hang out, texting you, telling you all kinds of very personal things and wanting to do all the things that couples usually do. Then, out of the blue, you’ll get a text that they’re not interested or there was no spark or the standard “it’s me not you” thing.

I don’t really understand it, but I’m not entirely opposed to this either, as it’s almost effortless on my part and it’s interesting moving through all the relationship steps in a week rather than the many months it usually takes and it’s fun to intimately (if you catch my drift) get to know all kinds of different girls simultaneously, but it’s happened 5 times in a row now. I have a few more atm, and I’m expecting one of texts at any time now.
Is this the new new normal?

Rambo Rambo what's your take on this?
By the way, I’m assuming that you’re meeting these girls through dating apps. These are strictly for expanding on your wealth of carnal knowledge. Though certainly not impossible, Tinder (Bumble or whatever else it is that you’re using) isn’t exactly the first place people go to look for serious relationships.

Also, settle down a bit. You’ve only just moved to a new continent a few months ago to start a new life. And you’ve broken up with the person with whom you’ve made this decision not too long before that. Why the hell would you look for a stable relationship? Take your time, find your bearings, enjoy yourself in the meanwhile. . . The right one will come along at a certain point.
 
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Monkeyface

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Hmm. Are you fucking all of these women? Are you asking anything of them in regards to said relationship? LA's a weird bag so its entirely possible you're just running with the floozies at the outset here. What types of women are you going on dates with? Actresses? Waitresses? Lawyers? There's a few variables at play here.

I will say that I'm impressed with your growth so far in regards to your personal life. I have a feeling that if you would have had this happen to you when you joined the forum you wouldn't be taking it in stride like this. So kudos to you.
Yes, lots, and they keep coming back for more until that “breakup text”. I’m not like Fwiffo who only buys them dinner and pays for their cars ololo. I’ve stared saving the texts, they’re quite entertaining at times, so maybe I could publish it one day if I get enough of them.

I’m not asking anything and I don’t have any expectations. I’ve only been here for two months so I don’t even want a relationship, but maybe I’m giving off that vibe? I think I should say no to the things usually reserved for couples and see what happens. It’d be nice to have a few relatively stable ones, but this is fun too.

No waitresses or aspiring actresses, I do have some standards. Doctors, lawyers, bankers, engineers, PhD students.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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When it came to dating, I had very high standards too, did the lady have it: sexual attractiveness, effervescent personality, fun and interesting to be with even in the quiet moments, good genetics and was she loyal? I cared nought for her professional career position, future status or possible financial rewards.

So waitresses and aspiring actresses where definitely on my cards. And true like Fwiffo I've made some bad moves, indeed, there was a time when trouble attracted me. I savoured it all.

I only ever dated women who interested me, I cared nought for their perceived professional or occupational status.

It was a different world then, you couldn't go on a dating app and filter out every lady who wasn't a surgeon or rocket scientist, you had to go into the real world and meet them. Chance opened up you up to a wide delta of engagements. It was a charmed life.
 

Monkeyface

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When it came to dating, I had very high standards too, did the lady have it: sexual attractiveness, effervescent personality, fun and interesting to be with even in the quiet moments, good genetics and was she loyal? I cared nought for her professional career position, future status or possible financial rewards.

So waitresses and aspiring actresses where definitely on my cards. And true like Fwiffo I've made some bad moves, indeed, there was a time when trouble attracted me. I savoured it all.

I only ever dated women who interested me, I cared nought for their perceived professional or occupational status.

It was a different world then, you couldn't go on a dating app and filter out every lady who wasn't a surgeon or rocket scientist, you had to go into the real world and meet them. Chance opened up you up to a wide delta of engagements. It was a charmed life.
It’s not about the social status of their jobs, but the intilligence that it implies. Intelligence is attractive.
 

Pimpernel Smith

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It’s not about the social status of their jobs, but the intilligence that it implies. Intelligence is attractive.
Since when has intelligence come into it? A woman should amuse you, want to have your babies and look after you. If she's physically attractive with those other attributes, you're on a winner.
 

Rambo

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Yes, lots, and they keep coming back for more until that “breakup text”
well...
I’m not asking anything and I don’t have any expectations. I’ve only been here for two months so I don’t even want a relationship, but maybe I’m giving off that vibe? I think I should say no to the things usually reserved for couples and see what happens. It’d be nice to have a few relatively stable ones, but this is fun too.

No waitresses or aspiring actresses, I do have some standards. Doctors, lawyers, bankers, engineers, PhD students.
well as long as you're not getting down on yourself i see no problem with it. its entirely possible though that you're the common denominator here. not to be demeaning but what if its the sex that's putting them off? what if there's something in your game that's giving them the wrong signals? if you're too far in the boobie bear camp then they might get the vibe that you're too clingy. if you're too cold then they might feel that you're not a candidate for future dating.

I’ve stared saving the texts, they’re quite entertaining at times, so maybe I could publish it one day if I get enough of them.
lets see them. don't we have a dating thread for this shit btw?
 

Monkeyface

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well...

well as long as you're not getting down on yourself i see no problem with it. its entirely possible though that you're the common denominator here. not to be demeaning but what if its the sex that's putting them off? what if there's something in your game that's giving them the wrong signals? if you're too far in the boobie bear camp then they might get the vibe that you're too clingy. if you're too cold then they might feel that you're not a candidate for future dating.


lets see them. don't we have a dating thread for this shit btw?
Linque? I’ll post there or you can move the convo there.

I agree that the statistics would imply that I’m the common denominator, except for the fact that in London or pretty much anywhere else I’ve lived this hasn’t really happened to me. However, it’s entirely possible that something I’m not yet aware of has changed between now and then.

I have no doubts whatsoever about the sex. It’s my strong suit. I think it’s the stuff that happens in between the sex. Perhaps I’m too available. I don’t have that many friends yet, so if a girl asks me to hang out there’s a good chance I’ll say yes, because I don’t have any other plans. I’m not a fan of playing games, but I’ll start saying no a bit more often and see what happens.
 
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Monkeyface

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Since when has intelligence come into it? A woman should amuse you, want to have your babies and look after you. If she's physically attractive with those other attributes, you're on a winner.
Intelligence is important to me. It allows for better conversation, and interests tend to align more closely as well. Anyways, whatever floats your boat. It’s a good thing we all have different preferences.
 

Monkeyface

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Interesting comment from last night’s date. She was surprised by my lack of accent, but she also said I’m more European than she had expected. I chose to take it as a compliment, but I’m not sure it was intended as such OLO.
 

Rambo

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Interesting comment from last night’s date. She was surprised by my lack of accent, but she also said I’m more European than she had expected. I chose to take it as a compliment, but I’m not sure it was intended as such OLO.
What did she mean by that? Do you not shave your man bush?
 

Monkeyface

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What did she mean by that? Do you not shave your man bush?
It might be because I was wearing a suit, but it was a casual suit and no tie. I refuse to do the baseball shorts and flip flop thing. She was dressed up nicely as well though.

I usually just take these things as compliments. Getting upset or inquiring further usually doesn’t help.
 
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Monkeyface

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I’m probably over analyzing anyways, which has never helped anyone. I’m having fun, and I suppose I’ll get used to the differences between EU and US. I don’t want to start generalizing too much either, lest I start stereotyping American women too much. I prefer going into it without expectations and assumptions.

I appreciate the advice though, and the jokes were funny.
 
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Rambo

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I don’t have that many friends yet, so if a girl asks me to hang out there’s a good chance I’ll say yes, because I don’t have any other plans. I’m not a fan of playing games, but I’ll start saying no a bit more often and see what happens.
hang on a sec - if these are doctors and lawyers how the fuck do they have all this free time?
 

Monkeyface

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hang on a sec - if these are doctors and lawyers how the fuck do they have all this free time?
Evenings and weekends. I’ll hang out with one particular girl max twice a week, nothing too egregious in my book. So perhaps I’m not that available after all.

I’ve been talking to/seeing about 3-5 girls at once, and I’d say about 1-2 drop off per week, and it takes about a week to replace them (not that they’re so generic that they’re easily replaceable of course, but LA is a big city). None have lasted longer than 3.5 weeks so far, with the average being about 1.5 weeks. There’s also been a bunch of ONS. Short but sweet I guess.
 

Rambo

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There’s also been a bunch of ONS. Short but sweet I guess.
nothing wrong with this at all.
I’ve been talking to/seeing about 3-5 girls at once, and I’d say about 1-2 drop off per week, and it takes about a week to replace them. None have lasted longer than 3.5 weeks so far, with the average being about 1.5 weeks.
so maybe you're just not able to juggle your focus that broadly and you should narrow it down to 2-4 or less. they might be picking up on the fact that you're not quite as open to commitment as you seem.
 

Monkeyface

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nothing wrong with this at all.

so maybe you're just not able to juggle your focus that broadly and you should narrow it down to 2-4 or less. they might be picking up on the fact that you're not quite as open to commitment as you seem.
Yeah, I suppose you’re right. You think they can sense it? I’m usually pretty responsive with texts and communication, probably more so than most girls I talk to. Just a side effect of having a job where you get yelled at if you take longer than 5 secs to respond to anything. I also never take my phone out of my pocket when I’m on a date, not even when they’re going to the bathroom. I fully dedicate my time to whoever I’m with.
 

Rambo

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You think they can sense it?
YESSSSSSSSSSS

women are much more perceptive than we give them credit for.

I also never take my phone out of my pocket when I’m on a date, not even when they’re going to the bathroom. I fully dedicate my time to whoever I’m with.
this is very good for life in general.

I’m usually pretty responsive with texts and communication, probably more so than most girls I talk to. Just a side effect of having a job where you get yelled at if you take longer than 5 secs to respond to anything.
i'm not really a texter so i can't comment too much on etiquette, but i've never heard of anyone saying texting back too quickly was a turn off.
 

Monkeyface

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Another one:
Hey. To be honest, I've been thinking about it and I don't really want to see you again.
You can call me if you ever need any legal help but I don't really want to hang out with you, no.
 

MES

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Another one:
Hey. To be honest, I've been thinking about it and I don't really want to see you again.
You can call me if you ever need any legal help but I don't really want to hang out with you, no.
This sounds really blunt, no? Did you do something awful on the last date, or was there actually never a spark between you two?
 

spencer096

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Evenings and weekends. I’ll hang out with one particular girl max twice a week, nothing too egregious in my book. So perhaps I’m not that available after all.

I’ve been talking to/seeing about 3-5 girls at once, and I’d say about 1-2 drop off per week, and it takes about a week to replace them (not that they’re so generic that they’re easily replaceable of course, but LA is a big city). None have lasted longer than 3.5 weeks so far, with the average being about 1.5 weeks. There’s also been a bunch of ONS. Short but sweet I guess.
welcome to modern dating in the united states.

good luck.

/enjoys it
 
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