Dating Life & Hookup Stories

Rambo said:
Unless you’re telling these women that you’re moving, or changing careers, these are completely bullshit excuses.
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Im making it clear that is where I want to put my roots down. I’m here to stay.
 
Monkeyface said:
Cat?
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B5aDqDH.gif
 
For Monkeyface Monkeyface , is a good ole arranged marriage!

A nice, docile, brown-skinned- pulchritudinous and high-achieving lass who would not object to taking it up the bum and he would be set.
 
Rambo said:
alright, so if you think its a signal, go make a move? act on the hunch and stop being a pussy about it.
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She never plays without her bf. She refused my hand in the customary post-match handshake with opposing team yesterday. Guess she was pissed I was being 'rude' on the court.
 
not Monkeyface Monkeyface but have some stories from the millenial dating world...

1. the holidays are pretty fun...lot of girls in their mid 20's coming home to visit family...spent four nights in a row with this girl who was home from NYC and bored out of her mind. haven't spoken to her since.
2. as good as it is for quick hookups between thanksgiving and christmas, i think after new years might be a more fruitful time for actual dating...right now have four prospective girls lined up, one of which i met a few years ago and looks to be more than just a quickie.
3. one bad experience, something that's happened to me twice before, and something i just do not understand...

meet a girl on one of these apps, she looks curvy but cute in her pictures, the chemistry's great over text, and we soon set up a time to meet in person. and when we meet in person, the girl physically there bears only the vaguest of resemblances to her online profile. somehow, either through the magic of pictures from the late 2000's or the most gracious of photo angles, they manage to hide 50+ lbs. of fat.

do they not realize the effect that has on the guy sitting across from them for the first time? did they not expect to actually meet in person? 45 minutes later (i ordered a diet coke, which she def picked up on as "lets hurry this along so i dont have to be a dick in public") im in my car looking at her facebook where she's got a post complaining about being judged by guys on dating apps and a bunch of other body positive bullshit.

i dont mind a few extra pounds. few isn't fifty. imagine if i told her i had a job, house and car but really lived with my mom, was broke and took the bus? be kind of a dick move, right? false advertising sucks. i felt conned. used. it was embarrassing.
 
spencer096 said:
(i ordered a diet coke, which she def picked up on as "lets hurry this along so i dont have to be a dick in public")
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I would have ordered a diet coke with a double shot of whisky. If you're going to be a wanker, you might as well be the king at it. And I'd probably say something snide like "It's after the holidays and I really need to keep an eye on my weight. You probably know what that means yeah?"

45 minutes of torture - I might as well get something out of it.
 
Rambo said:
Esplain
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You know, what we discussed. Being a little less available. Saying no more often. Don’t let dates drag on, end on a high note. Don’t text too soon. Have more of an abundance mentality. I suppose all those small changes added up. No more breakup texts after a week.
 
spencer096 said:
not Monkeyface Monkeyface but have some stories from the millenial dating world...

1. the holidays are pretty fun...lot of girls in their mid 20's coming home to visit family...spent four nights in a row with this girl who was home from NYC and bored out of her mind. haven't spoken to her since.
2. as good as it is for quick hookups between thanksgiving and christmas, i think after new years might be a more fruitful time for actual dating...right now have four prospective girls lined up, one of which i met a few years ago and looks to be more than just a quickie.
3. one bad experience, something that's happened to me twice before, and something i just do not understand...

meet a girl on one of these apps, she looks curvy but cute in her pictures, the chemistry's great over text, and we soon set up a time to meet in person. and when we meet in person, the girl physically there bears only the vaguest of resemblances to her online profile. somehow, either through the magic of pictures from the late 2000's or the most gracious of photo angles, they manage to hide 50+ lbs. of fat.

do they not realize the effect that has on the guy sitting across from them for the first time? did they not expect to actually meet in person? 45 minutes later (i ordered a diet coke, which she def picked up on as "lets hurry this along so i dont have to be a dick in public") im in my car looking at her facebook where she's got a post complaining about being judged by guys on dating apps and a bunch of other body positive bullshit.

i dont mind a few extra pounds. few isn't fifty. imagine if i told her i had a job, house and car but really lived with my mom, was broke and took the bus? be kind of a dick move, right? false advertising sucks. i felt conned. used. it was embarrassing.
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If she really misrepresented herself I would just say it’s not what I was expecting and don’t even have the date. No need to explain or clarify, just say goodbye and walk away. If you had to travel a bit for the date just make the best out of it. Go for a drink somewhere by yourself, catch a movie, grab some food, check out the neighborhood, whatever. Going on the date would just be a waste of time for both of you.
 
Monkeyface said:
You know, what we discussed. Being a little less available. Saying no more often. Don’t let dates drag on, end on a high note. Don’t text too soon. Have more of an abundance mentality. I suppose all those small changes added up. No more breakup texts after a week.
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Good. Any prospects on the horizon?
 
Monkeyface said:
If she really misrepresented herself I would just say it’s not what I was expecting and don’t even have the date. No need to explain or clarify, just say goodbye and walk away. If you had to travel a bit for the date just make the best out of it. Go for a drink somewhere by yourself, catch a movie, grab some food, check out the neighborhood, whatever. Going on the date would just be a waste of time for both of you.
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It was a place 10 mins away so there wasn’t much investment on my part. I rarely drive more than 15 mins and spend more than $30 on a first few dates. Just not worth it.
 
spencer096 said:
It was a place 10 mins away so there wasn’t much investment on my part. I rarely drive more than 15 mins and spend more than $30 on a first few dates. Just not worth it.
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But you do spend 45 minutes on the date. Better to be honest up front and save both of you some time.
 
spencer096 said:
not Monkeyface Monkeyface but have some stories from the millenial dating world...

1. the holidays are pretty fun...lot of girls in their mid 20's coming home to visit family...spent four nights in a row with this girl who was home from NYC and bored out of her mind. haven't spoken to her since.
2. as good as it is for quick hookups between thanksgiving and christmas, i think after new years might be a more fruitful time for actual dating...right now have four prospective girls lined up, one of which i met a few years ago and looks to be more than just a quickie.
3. one bad experience, something that's happened to me twice before, and something i just do not understand...

meet a girl on one of these apps, she looks curvy but cute in her pictures, the chemistry's great over text, and we soon set up a time to meet in person. and when we meet in person, the girl physically there bears only the vaguest of resemblances to her online profile. somehow, either through the magic of pictures from the late 2000's or the most gracious of photo angles, they manage to hide 50+ lbs. of fat.

do they not realize the effect that has on the guy sitting across from them for the first time? did they not expect to actually meet in person? 45 minutes later (i ordered a diet coke, which she def picked up on as "lets hurry this along so i dont have to be a dick in public") im in my car looking at her facebook where she's got a post complaining about being judged by guys on dating apps and a bunch of other body positive bullshit.

i dont mind a few extra pounds. few isn't fifty. imagine if i told her i had a job, house and car but really lived with my mom, was broke and took the bus? be kind of a dick move, right? false advertising sucks. i felt conned. used. it was embarrassing.
Click to expand...

Bad dates are going to happen, you just have to make the most of it. The size of your date in reality vs the social media or dating app ideal seems to me a small price to pay for what might be interesting conversation, even if you don't want anything more.

Back in my day, there was no apps, you had to go and get pissed and hoped you didn't wake up next to a scrubber. And then there was the second date when you first saw her sober....

 
spencer096 said:
not Monkeyface Monkeyface but have some stories from the millenial dating world...

1. the holidays are pretty fun...lot of girls in their mid 20's coming home to visit family...spent four nights in a row with this girl who was home from NYC and bored out of her mind. haven't spoken to her since.
2. as good as it is for quick hookups between thanksgiving and christmas, i think after new years might be a more fruitful time for actual dating...right now have four prospective girls lined up, one of which i met a few years ago and looks to be more than just a quickie.
3. one bad experience, something that's happened to me twice before, and something i just do not understand...

meet a girl on one of these apps, she looks curvy but cute in her pictures, the chemistry's great over text, and we soon set up a time to meet in person. and when we meet in person, the girl physically there bears only the vaguest of resemblances to her online profile. somehow, either through the magic of pictures from the late 2000's or the most gracious of photo angles, they manage to hide 50+ lbs. of fat.

do they not realize the effect that has on the guy sitting across from them for the first time? did they not expect to actually meet in person? 45 minutes later (i ordered a diet coke, which she def picked up on as "lets hurry this along so i dont have to be a dick in public") im in my car looking at her facebook where she's got a post complaining about being judged by guys on dating apps and a bunch of other body positive bullshit.

i dont mind a few extra pounds. few isn't fifty. imagine if i told her i had a job, house and car but really lived with my mom, was broke and took the bus? be kind of a dick move, right? false advertising sucks. i felt conned. used. it was embarrassing.
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Have you heard about this wondrous new product called beer goggles?!! If she puts out on the first date, and many actually do no matter what their stupid profiles say, you could always simply reinforce her positive body image and demount quickly.
 
Pimpernel Smith said:
Bad dates are going to happen, you just have to make the most of it. The size of your date in reality vs the social media or dating app ideal seems to me a small price to pay for what might be interesting conversation, even if you don't want anything more.

Back in my day, there was no apps, you had to go and get pissed and hoped you didn't wake up next to a scrubber. And then there was the second date when you first saw her sober....

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Well put. Another apt note from Declan...

Bad lovers face to face in the morning
Shy apologies and polite regrets
Slow dances that left no warning of
Outraged glances and indiscreet yawning
Good manners
And bad breath get you nowhere
 
spencer096 said:
She was a dull sow, Buckley.
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But you picked her on the dating app, did you not? Now there is the rub!

The Ernesto said:
Well put. Another apt note from Declan...

Bad lovers face to face in the morning
Shy apologies and polite regrets
Slow dances that left no warning of
Outraged glances and indiscreet yawning
Good manners
And bad breath get you nowhere
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He had a tremendous run of lyrics detailing the intricacy and subtext of relationships. I don't think there was anyone as good as him in the late 70s to mid-80s. But he was another one who fell into the trap of becoming less engaging and essential the more cleverer he got.
 
prince nez said:
And they make you for a Jew...
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The pleasures of being a brown Jew. . . I always share my ancestors’ country of origin, and they assume that I am some sort of relapsed Muselmann. I even have a name for these occasions.

At any rate, I think I had already diminished my chances by divulging so freely my passion for. . . Get this: Armenian food.
 
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