Horrible Celebrity Outfits

Zé Ferreira

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Why do I gather that hotness can be easily had by

1) getting in anywhere near decent shape &
2) convincing men you're somewhat easy (ie, exposed underwear, revealing slits, etc)
 

Russell Street

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Okay, many paragraphs could be filled detailing the horrid mistakes in the first one, and the last is bizarre anachronism in the wrong size, but what is so bad about the middle beside the oddball fabric, flapped pockets, and rather wide tie?
 

Rambo

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Okay, many paragraphs could be filled detailing the horrid mistakes in the first one, and the last is bizarre anachronism in the wrong size, but what is so bad about the middle beside the oddball fabric, flapped pockets, and rather wide tie?
Mostly that horrible jacket. Everything else is acceptable.

Is it just me, or is Johnny Depp looking rather ghoulish?
 

Russell Street

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Is it just me, or is Johnny Depp looking rather ghoulish?
Only the presumed Tart Arnel eyeglass frames clued me in that it was him. The bizarre orangey color and smoked lens do no favors to his complexion, and the (suspiciously) jet black hair with (equally suspicious) splotchy hairline are less than flattering to the aging visage.
Hand tattoos, baggy old-timey clothes, and standing next to some babe half his age don't help either.
 

Russell Street

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Is that formalwear? It does seem rather sheer, and the sleeves are toolong, and the pockets flapped and I really hate the dark pocket square in a poof. I get a sense that it's Thom Browne length in the body. A man with Stallone's physique needs custom, and this does not look like it is. The color could be cool if it had some significance. Anyway, get a bow tie and y'all look like limo drivers at the airport.
 

Russell Street

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Easy pickings here, Kanye West. Why the heck is the lapel backing not of the same panel as the rest of the coat? Nice sprezz with it all popped like that. And this ripped jeans thing was so rad in 1985!

I'm sure the footwear sucks too, but one must assume.

And here is Chris Brown, who was never accused of having taste. A strange blend of army surplus looks and that fruity Jams matching funny-print tropicalia from the '80s.

Shoe are visibly awful. And hightop sneakers warrant some sign of a sock line, I'd say.
 
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Thruth

thicker but more pliant than horsehide
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Sprezz points for no socks unless he is wearing the running shoe type. I don't know, the outfit matches the man I would say. No class
 

Russell Street

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I thought DeMarcus Cousins looked rather sharp, given the circumstances.
Yes, if I weren't violently opposed to that little white triangle formed by the low-rise pants and short, high waisted jacket, this would be decent.

What the actual fuck is the footwear on Brandon Flowers, who I thought was a singer for the Killers? I will note that the women are very egalitarian in dressing equally poorly.
 

Russell Street

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I'm older and Caucasian, but presumably this guy is a musician of some sort and his (stage) name is Future.
Anyway, we see here a moderately innovative pieced coat. It suffers from fey Tom Browne shortness, and is just too busy, but there is a somewhat tolerable idea under it all... for a woman.
 

Thruth

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I'm older and Caucasian, but presumably this guy is a musician of some sort and his (stage) name is Future.
Anyway, we see here a moderately innovative pieced coat. It suffers from fey Tom Browne shortness, and is just too busy, but there is a somewhat tolerable idea under it all... for a woman.
Hmm, they sell his pants at Cabella's
image.jpg
 

Russell Street

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Yeah, there's a pretense toward some sort of ergonomic paneling, an athletic purpose, as seen in motorcycle racing leathers and the like, but sadly it is all for show and not that coherent anyway.
 

ConchitaWurst

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Zhirinovsky who are all these Euro ghey's? Please don't tell me these are Rasheens? If so, please tell us you have submitted a bill to deport them to the Crimea, Eastern Ukraine or another undeveloped part of the Rasheen empire?
 
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