If you click on this thread you're going to see a carnivorous, vampire-fanged deer. Weird animals.

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Deep Sea Hatchet Fish.

Fuck, man... I can't really say anything about this shit right here...

...fuck.
 
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**found in an abandoned foundation pit in the Russian city of Chelyabinsk.**

That is all the information I could find about it. Looks a bit like a Horseshoe Crab but with the tail of a lizard. Finding this in a ditch at an urban construction site though?

I don't think I'd be offending anyone in stating that this is fucked up even for Russia.

You're on thin ice with me Russia. Get your shit together.
 
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**found in an abandoned foundation pit in the Russian city of Chelyabinsk.**

That is all the information I could find about it. Looks a bit like a Horseshoe Crab but with the tail of a lizard. Finding this in a ditch at an urban construction site though?

I don't think I'd be offending anyone in stating that this is fucked up even for Russia.

You're on thin ice with me Russia. Get your shit together.

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**found in an abandoned foundation pit in the Russian city of Chelyabinsk.**

That is all the information I could find about it. Looks a bit like a Horseshoe Crab but with the tail of a lizard. Finding this in a ditch at an urban construction site though?

I don't think I'd be offending anyone in stating that this is fucked up even for Russia.

You're on thin ice with me Russia. Get your shit together.

Fack that! That looks taken out of not even this Galaxy!
 
I'm sorry. This is a giant Python that can open doors. Your fucking fish can't even get to your doorstep.

Haha yes, but who wants that in their house in the first place? Haha
 
I'm sorry. This is a giant Python that can open doors. Your fucking fish can't even get to your doorstep.


We know pretty much all we need to know about snakes. They are awful but at least we know what they are capable of and how to treat their bites/resist their compelling advances. The abyssal plain? We know more about the moon than we know about the abyssal plain. Not just that, but genius ocean scientists speculate that we have yet to discover 2/3 of ocean life. That python looked slow and clumsy, I bet if I gave it a treat I could coax into the oven.
 
You know he's gonna be able to open that door as well, genius.


That's what the zip ties, sex swing and 1,500 lbs. of unmixed quikrete are for, chucklehead. The quikrete is even still in the bags!
 
That python looked slow and clumsy, I bet if I gave it a treat I could coax into the oven.

If a python tried to force its way into my digs, I'd rather give it a load of #2 birdshot in the head!

What was the length of the giant crocodile? It is sometimes claimed salt-water crocs go over 30 feet, but a lot of experts challenge this. I think 21 or 22 feet is usually the top figure, which is still ample to make short work of the brawniest of men.
 
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This is the Mantis shrimp. Cool looking little guy but these guys aren't to be messed with. My friend caught one while we were fishing and luckily he knew what it was so he made sure neither of us got near it. Their claws pack a mean punch. The acceleration is near equivalent to a .22 caliber bullet. They can pretty much just take off a finger. They also are able to see colors that we can't even see. Even though I think they look awesome, they aren't really kept in aquariums because they kill everything in them and have been known to break the aquarium glass.

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That was cool Rambo. The mantis shrimp is quite amazing. Although, my seawater nemesis is the sculpin. One of my favorite fish to catch, I have had many encounters with them. They are absolutely delicious fish which is one reason I like them so much. They're also quite cool looking in that barbaric "don't fuck with me" kind of way. They have a poisonous venom in their spines and let me tell you, from the many times that these bastards have got me, it hurts like a bitch. It may not be the ugliest looking fish, but this very common fish can bring a world of hurt...

484

Kind of reminds me of a Lion Fish. Fuckers hurt like hell but I had fun spearing the shit out of them in the Carribean.
 
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That is a wolf fish a.k.a seawolf a.k.a devil fish.

I can grow up to 5' long and weigh as much as 40 lbs.

It has antifreeze in its blood so that it can strike quickly in low temperatures.

It has been known to enter sewer systems through coastal spillage sites and attack humans on the toilet... not really but, right?
 
This is a Wrinkle-faced bat.
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"Blllleeaaaaaauuuurrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!"

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It lives in Central America and eats fruit. It emits a musky odor from its chin to attract females for mating.

I assume that the 'musky odor' is mostly chloroform.
 
Hey, little ladybug. How's the world look to you today? I heard it's good luck if you land on me! We should have a picnic together in the fucking park!
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Hold on a second...
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You're no Ladybug!?! You're no fucking Ladybug!!!!!

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The Ladybug Spider: another of natures shitty surprises.
 
This is a Wrinkle-faced bat.
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"Blllleeaaaaaauuuurrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!"

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It lives in Central America and eats fruit. It emits a musky odor from its chin to attract females for mating.

I assume that the 'musky odor' is mostly chloroform.


If this two where in the same place together, still would be a better love story than Twilight.
 
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Candiru.

Looks harmless enough, but this is the little fish that swims up your penis hole and ruins your night on the town.

I don't know, "I've got a fish up my dick", is a great conversation starter. Everyone wants to buy that guy a drink.
 
The Texas longhorn cow is euphemistically viewed as "lean". Except for one thing. The Longhorn cow is the rubberiest most inedible cow their is. Tire tread is easier to digest. But hey... its red.
 
ever heard of the "pig slaughter festival" in some village in vietnam?


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Is this like one of those hidden image paintings they used to sell at kiosks in the mall? The one's you had to stare at for a long time and then you'd see a bunch of dolphins or, in this case, a pig slaughter festival. Because I can't do those, I never saw shit.

I saw that. I can't tell you how much it enrages me. Those cops should die.


I can't watch those type of videos. Ruins my buzz.

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