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Quite. But generally I try and aim for getting close enough to not stand out excessively while still wearing appropriate enough clothing I maintain some modicum of self respect.
Is dressing well turning into a form of cosplay?
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fxh
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I used to try and fit in but now just wear dark navy suit, black shoes, white shirt, black funeral tie = grenadine.
Pimpernel Smith
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I think it's inevitable that at any family gathering these days there will be a wide delta of t-shirts, tracksuits and sans tie looks before you reach the pinnacle of sartorial refinement in one's good self. I rarely attend, as I rarely get an invite and in my parents divorce, my mum's side got me and my father's side kind of blanked me. I think it was in the settlement. If you do it right, you can walk into any spit and sawdust bar or any estate pub in a jacket and tie, the secret is to buy a round in for everyone and make sure you have your uncle with you who can vouch for your credentials and still owes you for the concert tickets for Macca at the Albert Docks in 1990 and that Blondie concert in Manchester in the mid-1990s. You also need to be able to speak the local lingo.
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This thread ended up being too timely. Have a funeral tomorrow for a guy I went to High School with.
I will say that the vast majority at this one will be in appropriate attite.
I will say that the vast majority at this one will be in appropriate attite.
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My 94yo grandmother-in-law will pass this week. I’m going to look crazy out of place in a dark suit when everyone else is in traditional Buddhist mourning wear.
Jan Libourel
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^So what are you going to wear?
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Navy suit, white shirt, black knit tie and black captoes.
fxh
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What is traditional Buddhist mourning wear - I'm ignorant
fxh
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aah Vietnamese dress I know a little about. Ms fxh used to work with a Vietnamese group and they had an áo dài dress made for her as a present. Only thing is shes 5'9" or so and beside them she looked like a GIANT. Funnily the men all thought she looked like a blonde movie star!
One of the ladies father was a "priest" and he dressed in the full regalia at times. He was about 90 when I knew him but an interesting sophisticated bloke - he'd been a journalist for Le Monde in Vietnam and Africa. Spoke about 5 languages and got out on a leaky boat to Australia just after the war
One of the ladies father was a "priest" and he dressed in the full regalia at times. He was about 90 when I knew him but an interesting sophisticated bloke - he'd been a journalist for Le Monde in Vietnam and Africa. Spoke about 5 languages and got out on a leaky boat to Australia just after the war
Jan Libourel
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On the topic of funeral attire, I went to a memorial service for a beloved neighbor about a month ago. There were perhaps 50 people in attendance. I was the only man in a dark suit. I will say that a number of men did wear sports jackets. It was at one of these newly minted "evangelical" churches. There were no hymns, no psalms, no readings from scripture. People got up and spoke about the deceased. Each speaker was applauded. I refused to do so. In all, it seemed very odd--not my kind of Christianity at all.
Kingstonian
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Next funeral I will be attending requests ‘smart clothing but no black’.
A reverse of the traditional funeral wear. Strange also, as lots of people only seem to have black outerwear.
A reverse of the traditional funeral wear. Strange also, as lots of people only seem to have black outerwear.
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The Ernesto
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I went to the funeral of a family member a few weeks ago. Quite tragic. Was surprised how most people dressed appropriately. Just basic conservative suits, and the people not wearing suits chose sombre, low key outfits.
It was a non-religious service and although I am not religious I found the whole affair very cold and distant. Didn't really do the poor man justice.
It was a non-religious service and although I am not religious I found the whole affair very cold and distant. Didn't really do the poor man justice.
The Ernesto
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This applauding bollocks really annoys me.
fxh
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Similar. I'm a non believer but was raised with Catholic ritual.
My experience was with mainly Irish Catholic culture with a fair bit a times of Italian due to the rural area we lived. And a lot of it mixed with both.
I find most secular funerals either have the worst of Methodist lack of ornamentation or have some weird "Lets have fun and celebrate life" nonsense. Luckily all my blood relatives have had Catholic funerals with a bit of dignity and ceremony and a decent wake afterwards. On the Ms side theres a few happy clappy rightwing evangelicals - their funerals are frankly embarrassing.
I want a proper funeral in a catholic cathedral with all the bells and smells but without some dopey priest saying I'm in heaven and with the Lord.
I'm guessing - in death as in life - I'm destined to be frustrated.
Jan Libourel
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Would he, though? If there is anything to this business of Heaven, Purgatory and Hell, I should think very few people would be pure enough for admission into the Divine Presence. I think I have remarked before, I hope there is a Purgatory. I know I'm not good enough for Heaven, yet I hope I haven't been so wicked as to deserve an eternity of torture.
The Ernesto
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Exit Watch
The Shooman
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In the Buddha school we talk about Purgatory. One goes there when one is killed before their predestined time to die, such as when they get murdered or suicide. They become a hungry ghost and need to wait in the space of the universe until their other bodies' predestined time to die comes around. Rituals are performed to free these poor souls from misery because they can sometimes be many years starving and bored to tears floating around in the universe. In these rituals people will leave food out and the ghosts come to the temple to eat the food before being released from Purgatory (these ghosts are seen eating the food in the temples).
Many people have reported testimonies about visiting hell and seeing people down there. My friend was brought down to hell about 15 years ago and told by a God to do better while on Earth.
As for heaven, it is not uncommon for people to visit heaven while they meditate....i've visited one of the Buddha heavens and it is golden and shiny and had divine Buddhas. Of course l am not allowed to see the heavens in it's true form because l am not pure enough, but when l go there l am allowed to see some things in limited forms.
So what does heaven look like? Well, the closest pic l could find is this. These pictures exist IMO because people go there and then draw them when they come back, but the colours l see are much brighter and more beautiful and the scenes are stunning.
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This is my philosophy.
formby
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Well, its not a question of philosophy or theology for that matter, it simply that he's talking about his own funeral, therefore he's dead and can't hear anything anyway.
However as a Catholic (lapsed) meself, he is right that the Catholic liturgy is very 'ornate' (if that's the correct term). As children, my mother used to take me and my brother to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Lovely. Even more so, if it had been snowing, as we would walk there and back, a walk of a few miles.
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It most certainly is.
Like I tell my wife all the time, "Don't stress, the worst thing that can happen is you'll die, and you won't be around to know about that anyway".
Great White Snark
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Why, if one is a lapsed Catholic, would one desire or expect to have a funeral in one of their ornate cathedrals?
More hypocrisy surrounding religion than any other topic save possibly politics, and catholics are at the top of the league.
When my time is up I would be quite happy to be dumped from a wheelbarrow over the cemetery fence. I hope I get enough warning to send a few notes over to my old local and let the lads have a night out on me, telling daft stories and memories of adventures and exploits. I don’t need some hypocrite saying prayers over me who never even knew me.
More hypocrisy surrounding religion than any other topic save possibly politics, and catholics are at the top of the league.
When my time is up I would be quite happy to be dumped from a wheelbarrow over the cemetery fence. I hope I get enough warning to send a few notes over to my old local and let the lads have a night out on me, telling daft stories and memories of adventures and exploits. I don’t need some hypocrite saying prayers over me who never even knew me.
Jan Libourel
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^I hate to say this, but does anyone else think Shooey's image of Heaven looks all too similar to the Las Vegas Strip?
formby
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It looks like Donald Trump's idea of heaven to me.
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Johnny1
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Its a fascinating question. I think for clothes not to become Cosplay you have to keep within certain boundaries in terms of items worn.
Roughly speaking in classic menswear you can wear the core basics without any problem. For instance a navy suit is always going to be fine as its still a ubiquitous piece of dress. However, you start going into wearing clothes like dinner jacket, smoking jackets, bow ties you are veering into Cosplay unless you are going to a formal event where a dinner jacket is required for instance. However, these kinds of events are so rare that most men are never going to require such clothing.
On top of this as long as the clothing isn't completely incongruent with the place you go and you're fine. Of course these days you find men wearing all sorts even in a formal restaurant, or hotel bar etc. However if what you are wearing matches the formality of the surroundings you are ok. There seems to be a fashion amongst iGents to deliberately take photos eating burgers, or having an ice cream in a suit and tie. Im not sure what the reason for it is? To balance out their fear that they are stuffy perhaps?
Roughly speaking in classic menswear you can wear the core basics without any problem. For instance a navy suit is always going to be fine as its still a ubiquitous piece of dress. However, you start going into wearing clothes like dinner jacket, smoking jackets, bow ties you are veering into Cosplay unless you are going to a formal event where a dinner jacket is required for instance. However, these kinds of events are so rare that most men are never going to require such clothing.
On top of this as long as the clothing isn't completely incongruent with the place you go and you're fine. Of course these days you find men wearing all sorts even in a formal restaurant, or hotel bar etc. However if what you are wearing matches the formality of the surroundings you are ok. There seems to be a fashion amongst iGents to deliberately take photos eating burgers, or having an ice cream in a suit and tie. Im not sure what the reason for it is? To balance out their fear that they are stuffy perhaps?
The Shooman
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the heaven l see has ancient Chinese architecture that is golden and glittering with golden Buddhas levitating about. It kind of reminds me of the backdrops of Shen Yun, but it has the glitter and colour of the above pic l posted earlier. I see chinese architecture in heaven because l follow a God who created the chinese and it's ancient culture, and the Buddha School's colours are a golden yellow, and that's why l see these colours. People who follow western Gods like Jesus will probably see western architecture with lots of white because the western Gods in my experience use white and have white robes where-as the Gods that save the East have golden yellow robes and golden paradises. That's the basics in a nutshell.
I have had my life saved a few times from certain death and have experienced many miracles because l haven't severed my link to the Gods. Once l left the road and was about to hit a pole at high speed, but a big flash of light come and put my car back on the road. This is what happens to people when they are still looked after by Gods. I don't follow any religion or church's, but l do try to be good and respect the Gods.
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Pimpernel Smith
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I was at an industry event last week sponsored by the Saudis. One thing about the Saudis is that they wear English tailoring rather well. Always best to go smart, but cool and subdued with a little bit of green on the tie. Always a winner.....and there he was the Pitti Uomo boy. This is someone who's inherited a business and the word in the industry is that he's more interested in sports cars and fast broads. He had this beige, black tartan looking suit with big chunky boots on the pants were tight and half masts. The shirt was white open neck with a t-shirt on underneath. On one wrist he had several bracelets, from big chunky ones to leather and plastic ones of various hues. On the other wrist he had a big pink rose gold Breitling gleaming under the conference room lighting. Whilst this may have been the ultimate statement of sprezza: look at you mere mortals in your business suits whilst I don't give a shit! The overall effect was clownish.
One has to remember what goes down well in a Ferrari around lake Como or the Italian Riviera doesn't always transfer well to the world of big oil and gas.
One has to remember what goes down well in a Ferrari around lake Como or the Italian Riviera doesn't always transfer well to the world of big oil and gas.
formby
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The only place a Ferrari goes down well is on a race track.
The old British diplomatic look is a great look if you want to give off the whiff of power.
formby
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It also needs 'TRUMP' emblazoned on all the buildings.
Do you think he'd test out the throne?
Untermensch
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Did you say fashion among iGents? It's worse. There's a deliberate, concerted, massively-funded and carefully designed marketing campaign. Just look at Drake's, with its tousle-haired grinning youths forever eating burgers in some NY "diner" (I mean how happy can you get?). Or Crompers himself, holding his "gelato" at Pitti.
Johnny1
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Im glad youve noticed this strange phenomenon too. Its done by professional ad agencies I assume, and perhaps aped by the blogosphere who mindlessly copy it. Actually it makes kind of sense, perhaps the ad agencies were told that the biggest problem with classic clothing is its lack of practicality (which is true) and how its not really appropriate in casual places most guys seem to live in these days (also true). Cue Drakes photos with guys in jacket and tie eating burgers with sauce dripping out the bottom, or the Anglo Italian guys peddling a bike in a pinstripe suit on Instagram. I guess its just an extension though of what Ralph Lauren or Gant or Burberry etc have been doing for ages now. Their clothes are taken from some other time and place which doesn't exist anymore, so they attempt to transpose their product to fit the modern environment through imagery.
R
Rushmore
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Indeed. Why is that?
Pimpernel Smith
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I've noticed this worrying trend in the winter months: everyone walking around in black bubble coats and the like. Regardless of age or geographical location. The drab Chairman Mao tyranny of street wear.
fxh
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The black cheap fleece, or if you are middle class the expensive Khatmandu fleece, pilled and with cat hair on it, is considered basic daily wear here. Even see them at work in the city.
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What's a bubble coat?
Pimpernel Smith
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They crossed the Atlantic at the time of An American Werewolf In London and they were colourful and I was glad to see them go by the mid-80s. Sadly the have returned with the colour gone and this is now the good to go throughout Europe, from Italy to the north, the black bin bags of Satan:
