Odd Things Seen Daily By Me

[Thruth]

The other day, I noticed something that I used to notice all the time, but had grown used to and since completely ignored. It is a small taxidermy shop along the road in a residential area. I guess that's because there is no longer a dilapidated mountain lion or whatever out leaning against the side of the building. Anyway, on this same stretch of road that I take on my daily commute there is also a skeet club and some little quasi-abandoned windowless business/warehouse/bunker just sitting in the middle of a residential area.

I figure these are things that the average person doesn't see everyday, but I just take for granted. What local oddities have become so mundane that you forget they are there?

 

[Russell Street]

Allow me to add that by odd, I mean unusual as well. Local norms that may seem strange in another area.

 

[Fwiffo]

The CN Tower. I live down the street from it. People take pictures of themselves (selfies) in the middle of the road with it in the background. I've seen multiple times people will walk to the middle of the pedestrian crosswalk, fumble with their mobile, and whilst the green light counts down, try to take a picture of themselves and the landmark in the background. During this time, he or she will be oblivious to cars making left or right turns or the fact that they are about to be run over if they linger too long. Is the perfect picture on instagram or facebook or plenty of fish really worth getting killed for?

Sometimes I am tempted to yell at them to get out off the street. Sometimes I'm just happy some motorist will run them over and stop the traffic so I can continue my walk to work.

 

[Thruth]

The CN Tower. I live down the street from it. People take pictures of themselves (selfies) in the middle of the road with it in the background. I've seen multiple times people will walk to the middle of the pedestrian crosswalk, fumble with their mobile, and whilst the green light counts down, try to take a picture of themselves and the landmark in the background. During this time, he or she will be oblivious to cars making left or right turns or the fact that they are about to be run over if they linger too long. Is the perfect picture on instagram or facebook or plenty of fish really worth getting killed for?

Sometimes I am tempted to yell at them to get out off the street. Sometimes I'm just happy some motorist will run them over and stop the traffic so I can continue my walk to work.

Like there is no other interesting landmark in TO that they might choose for their proof of life photos

 

[Russell Street]

Well, I was going to talk about how there are brick or stone chimneys from houses that fell apart decades ago and now trees grown up all around them, but that's rather dull compared to naked people. The spoiler function is working now, btw. So maybe it's laundry day?

 

[Allen Smithee]

not daily (and this pic was posted by a friend in fb) but ever since I was a kid I've been seeing teh crazies walking around naked in this city. why are they naked??

How old are these people?

 

[Fwiffo]

The back door of my flat leads to a bench where there are always homeless people sleeping there. I first thought the fecal excrements around the area were dogs but now I'm beginning to think they use the sidewalk as a place to defecate. On the opposite side of the street are four condos going up so I reckon they won't be able to do this for much longer. It's reinforced by the fact that there is a massive exhaust vent which spews warm air during the frigid winter nights.

But that's not what you want to hear. You want to hear that I hate going by the Air Canada Centre where the Maple Leafs and Raptors play in the morning. The stench of urine and body odour pervades especially if there was no event the night prior because they sleep on the three benches facing the arena. I feel sorry for the tourists who sit on those benches not knowing they might get fleas or venereal diseases.

 

[Russell Street]

This reminds me that some neighbor near me, an old guy, got a brand new Volvo and promptly put bumper stickers all around the body of the car, like on the paint. I thought this was for a political candidate and they'd be coming off after the election, but still there. They just say Versailles. I have no idea what it is about.

 

[Fwiffo]

A few years ago I went to a restaurant called O Noir in Toronto that had waiters and waitresses who were blind. The entire meal is conducted in darkness so you are immersed in a world without sight. I believe it's a franchise that was from Montreal or somewhere.

Yesterday, I read about the opening of a new restaurant called Signs. The wait staff are deaf. Patrons are encouraged to use sign language to put in their order. I imagine some other body gestures will be required to call attention to the server.

Who knows what will come next? A restaurant operated by limbless crippled people who will perhaps need your help to finish the cooking and put it on the table.

 

[Fwiffo]

I live two blocks south of the theatre district and the main concert hall for the local symphony. Across the street is a church - I don't think it's Anglican, but given its location, it's iconic to one of the denominations of Christianity.

I'm walking up the street and I see a man lying on a sleeping bag on the grass in front of the church. He has a cigarette that looked like it was thrice used by now and runs towards me with a box of wrist watches - two of them, trying to sell it to me. Curiously, the watches are the cleanest looking possession he has. I did not look closer to see what brand they were.

 

[Fwiffo]

There is a woman who sleeps behind my building on the bench. After breakfast today, I made a stop at my flat before going to work and noticed whilst waiting for the lift that she was digging around the rubbish bin outside the front door. She picked up a clear plastic bag full of what I assume to be organic materials and started picking things from there to eat. After a few bites, she decided to drop the bag back into the bin and proceeded to find a way to light what I assume is a used cigarette.

 

[Thruth]

i have 16 cats, mostly for rodent control, 9 have names and are civilized, of those, 4 are indoor/outdoor and the rest are semi-feral. of the named cats, Spot, named so because he is a dog trapped in a cat's body, is a big cat. besides mousing, this week he has taken down a magpie, a muskrat and a garter snake. of course, like all cats, and to my wife's disgust, he displays his kills prominently by placing them on the front porch. my wife no longer screams if she finds a mouse on display. i am waiting for the day she texts me and says "little Jimmy from down the road is on the porch" kid's a prick, he'll deserve it

 

[Russell Street]

On the county road that I take to work, there is often seen a man walking on the practically non-existent shoulder wearing a dayglo reflective vest. At first I thought he was some sort of utility worker or something, but he's up and down the road too much and it was eventually pointed out to me that he's got a kind of "stroke face" and awkward, limping gait.
Speculation is that he's somewhat incapacitated or retarded. I can't figure out who gave him the vest and makes sure he wears it but lets him walk on this rather narrow road with no sidewalks.

 

[Allen Smithee]

I see my wiener daily.

 

[John Lee Pettimore III]

Six blocks away from me is where Hernando DeSoto and his crew spent Christmas, likely the first Christmas celebrated in what is now the US.

 

[Fwiffo]

On my walk back home, I pass by an intersection where bicycle couriers gather, presumably after work. They appear to start amassing in numbers around 1500 and then disperse by 1730 or so. If the police ever want to bust anyone for marijuana this is the perfect place as all year round, even in the frigid cold, you can smell weed whilst they unwind. Only when the ice age sets in do they move into one of the office building lobbies in front of a Starbucks.

 

[Russell Street]

Another fun roadside hing on my commute is some church's daycare playground. It has a dozen or so of the iconic Tiny Tike Cozy Coupes fenced in it.

 

[Grand Potentate]

This was in the dr's office bathroom:

We're there that many overflows that the patients were keeping a secret?

 

[Russell Street]

I like to wait and mention it on my way out...

 

[Fwiffo]

Oi mate, one floor above me the stall door says when you close and see the toilet - paper towels cannot go in the toilet.

It makes me wonder who is closing the door and why their decrepit hands need a paper towel.

 

[John Lee Pettimore III]

Oi mate, one floor above me the stall door says when you close and see the toilet - paper towels cannot go in the toilet.

It makes me wonder who is closing the door and why their decrepit hands need a paper towel.

Germophobes. Use a paper towel to touch everything in the bathroom. Except their own hog, presumably. And other hogs, if that's the intent of the bathroom visit.

Use a paper towel to open the stall door, flush the paper towel, then use to toilet paper to reopen the stall door.

 

[Thruth]

Was grocery shopping. The store is part of a mall. I spied two people walking away from the mall onto the boulevard next to the highway off ramp. One, an obese female 40+ and the other a male in his 20's I think. Mother and son.

Nothing strange other than that the male is wearing an ankle length cape and has a sword. Like Excalibre length.

She adjusts his cape like a father might adjust his son's tie the first time he dons one. He drops to one knee in an Arthurian post. She lovingly preens his hair to hide his significant baldness. Slowly she eases his bulk to join him, their backs resting against a transformer. They take a selfie or two this Knight of the Round Table and his moms oblivious to cars flashing by down the off ramp.

Once done, he helps her up and they walk off. Her with the obese waddle and him with a slightly ataxic gait, sword at the ready, that makes me hope he is intellectually challenged.

Bittersweet and weird all at the same time.

 

[Russell Street]

Thruth, you really have a way with words. I feel like I was there. And I hope that this man child was "not quite right."
I hope she didn't promise to take him to see a Transformer. That would have been disappointing.

 

[Thruth]

There is a store in the mall that sells all types of knives including a large selection of replica and fantasy weapons so it is not unusual to see people walking out with samurai swords and such. There are always gamers/neckbeards in there salivating over the weird and wonderful weapons. But this was the first time I've seen someone in the full kit. I don't think she promised to show him a Transformer otherwise he would still be there yelling at it to transform! I too hope the man-child was as I surmised as opposed to the nunchuk fool from the other thread

 

[OfficePants]

I am not sure I understand all these young professionals with dogs. They're all over the place.

 

[Thruth]

Dogs are their children. Unlike children, you can kennel a dog when you go to Fiji for vacation

 

[OfficePants]

I guess so. Today's millennial aspires to put shit in a bag after getting home from work.

 

[OfficePants]

they live to travel and see the world. that and take pictures of their grub.

The obsession with travel among the young will mean lots of near 40 women desperate for a family, they'll wonder how their still single.

 

[Russell Street]

Oy, the oikophobia. Every girl's dating profile says they love to travel.
Travel sucks! If you live in a cornfield, I get wanting to travel a bit, but there is enough stuff within an hour or two of me to keep me busy and amused for a lifetime.
And I don't spend all my time snapping photos to chronicle my photo-taking trip...

 

[OfficePants]

Oy, the oikophobia. Every girl's dating profile says they love to travel.
Travel sucks! If you live in a cornfield, I get wanting to travel a bit, but there is enough stuff within an hour or two of me to keep me busy and amused for a lifetime.
And I don't spend all my time snapping photos to chronicle my photo-taking trip...

I know. With militant airports, hotels, delays, scammers, weirdos, etc, not to mention shit food unless you $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, I have trouble seeing how you can get any enjoyment from the process.

 

[Grand Potentate]

Oy, the oikophobia. Every girl's dating profile says they love to travel.
Travel sucks! If you live in a cornfield, I get wanting to travel a bit, but there is enough stuff within an hour or two of me to keep me busy and amused for a lifetime.
And I don't spend all my time snapping photos to chronicle my photo-taking trip...

I know. With militant airports, hotels, delays, scammers, weirdos, etc, not to mention shit food unless you $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, I have trouble seeing how you can get any enjoyment from the process.

I hate you both.

 

[Thruth]

I was downtown today walking back to my truck when a street person approached me to bum a smoke. I gave her one and she thanked me.

She said "I like your cummerbund."

I said "But I am not wearing a cummerbund."

She said "yes you are" and pointed to my pocket square.

I said "it's a pocket square."

"Oh", she said, "then I like your pocket square."

"Thank you."

"Do you have any spare change?"

"No."

"Do you have another cigarette?"

"Yes, here you go."

"Do you have any spare change?"

"Not since the last time you asked."

"Okay, thanks. Bye"

Goodbye."

"It's very dashing."

"Pardon?"

"Your cummerbund."

"Thank you."

 

[Grand Potentate]

Pics of you in your penguin suit please.

 

[Russell Street]

Ooh, clothing misnomers is a thread unto itself. Somebody else please start it.

 

[Thruth]

Pics of you in your penguin suit please.

Sorry. Had changed out of my office gear by the time I posted that.

My "cummerbund" was a madder print, paisley with orange ground with blue and green accents.

 

[ConchitaWurst]

not daily (and this pic was posted by a friend in fb) but ever since I was a kid I've been seeing teh crazies walking around naked in this city. why are they naked??

what city would that be Grand Potentate ?

 

[Grand Potentate]

what city would that be Grand Potentate ?

Manila

 

[Thruth]

I was outside multi-tasking - taking a call and having a smoke - when a hornet flew up my shirt sleeve and stung me. I had to think why this creature would do such a thing. It must have been because I was wearing a tacky unshirt that irritated the hornet. But, I then remembered that it was an Italian-made shirt RTW, but made in Milan and not Napoli so I was not quite untacky so I forgave the dying hornet.

all the trauma of this event had made me forget that i had been planning to take a shit after my smoke but the phone call and the hornet intervened. Upon arriving at my favourite stall, it had been sullied by someone who chose not to flush.

I think I need to go home as i cannot take too much more of this.

 

[OfficePants]

I was outside multi-tasking - taking a call and having a smoke - when a hornet flew up my shirt sleeve and stung me. I had to think why this creature would do such a thing. It must have been because I was wearing a tacky unshirt that irritated the hornet. But, I then remembered that it was an Italian-made shirt RTW, but made in Milan and not Napoli so I was not quite untacky so I forgave the dying hornet.

all the trauma of this event had made me forget that i had been planning to take a shit after my smoke but the phone call and the hornet intervened. Upon arriving at my favourite stall, it had been sullied by someone who chose not to flush.

I think I need to go home as i cannot take too much more of this.

Due to a broken toilet and a variety of other circumstances, I was forced to piss on someone's phantom shit once. It was extremely damaging to my psyche. Not only did the smell get unlocked, but the shit started to disintegrating into muddy water. All this in about 3 seconds before I pissed to the edge to stop the bleeding. Why I didn't realize the knock on effects and just piss the edge to start remains a mystery.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to shit on someone's shit. I'd rather shit my pants/contemplate suicide.

 

[Thruth]

Due to a broken toilet and a variety of other circumstances, I was forced to piss on someone's phantom shit once. It was extremely damaging to my psyche. Not only did the smell get unlocked, but the shit started to disintegrating into muddy water. All this in about 3 seconds before I pissed to the edge to stop the bleeding. Why I didn't realize the knock on effects and just piss the edge to start remains a mystery.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to shit on someone's shit. I'd rather shit my pants. To fathom a power dump getting your ass wet with that stew would be suicide-worthy.

I feel your pain, Brother. It is very mortifying indeed.