All The Reasons Why Florida Is #1

John Lee Pettimore III said:
It's the third largest state. It's cheap and romanticized by Jimmy Buffett and others, so the midwest's and northeast's detritus tends to drift down here. It's very diverse, with a high population of citizens born outside the US. Finally, it's state government is minimal (20% lower per-capita cost than the 49th cheapest state government, Arizona).
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What do you mean by its state government is minimal? It's a small government? Wouldn't that tend to go against the small gov types?
 
John Lee Pettimore III said:
It's the third largest state. It's cheap and romanticized by Jimmy Buffett and others, so the midwest's and northeast's detritus tends to drift down here. It's very diverse, with a high population of citizens born outside the US. Finally, it's state government is minimal (20% lower per-capita cost than the 49th cheapest state government, Arizona).
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How could you list all this other horseshit without listing the single biggest reason for anyone to move to Florida - the weather. These old fucks from New York and Canada aren't coming down because of its tiny state government. FFS.
 
Rambo said:
How could you list all this other horseshit without listing the single biggest reason for anyone to move to Florida - the weather. These old fucks from New York and Canada aren't coming down because of its tiny state government. FFS.
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Those old fucks arent killing people and then having sex to celebrate. It's totally subordinate to the question I asked.
 
Rambo said:
They bring their shitty children with them. And the best of the best aren't flocking down here.
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Interesting point. But that can't just it. The best of the best, true, Florida salaries tend to be worse than most other states.
 
OfficePants said:
Interesting point. But that can't just it. The best of the best, true, Florida salaries tend to be worse than most other states.
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It's the weather. the constant heat and sunshine removes any malaise and replaces it with a constant supply of tits, ass, and fat thighs. Causes mental issues
 
Rambo said:
It's the weather. the constant heat and sunshine removes any malaise and replaces it with a constant supply of tits, ass, and fat thighs. Causes mental issues
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Thank you. I'm very satisfied with the reasoning. I don't know how you can live there.
 
Rambo said:
How could you list all this other horseshit without listing the single biggest reason for anyone to move to Florida - the weather. These old fucks from New York and Canada aren't coming down because of its tiny state government. FFS.
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Because people asked for reasons, not reasons for the reasons.
 
Right down the road, baby! Emphasis mine.

Sunrise murder suspect accused of disemboweling girlfriend | (Warning: Graphic content)

Sunrise murder suspect accused of disemboweling girlfriend | (Warning: Graphic content)

In a fit of tequila-fueled rage, a Sunrise man is accused of killing and disemboweling his girlfriend because she uttered her ex-husband's name twice during sex.

By Wayne K. Roustan Sun Sentinelcontact the reporter
Sunrise man accused of killing, disemboweling girlfriend
Woman killed by enraged boyfriend in Sunrise after she utters ex-husband's name during sex, police say
In a tequila-fueled rage, a Sunrise man is accused of killing and disemboweling his girlfriend because she uttered her ex-husband's name twice during sex.

Fidel Lopez called 911 about 3:39 a.m. Sunday and told the operator his girlfriend Maria Nemeth was having trouble breathing and was going to die, according to the arrest report filed in the case.

Sunrise police found Lopez crying for help next to Nemeth's naked body on the floor of the bathroom with blood and body tissue around the apartment that Nemeth, 31, and Lopez, 24, had shared for about one week in the 1600 block of Northwest 128th Drive, the report stated.

The bathroom door was ripped off its hinges and there was blood and tissue in the bathroom, a bedroom closet, and smeared on walls and doors. There were several holes in the walls and a shattered sliding glass door, police said.

Sunrise Fire-Rescue pronounced Nemeth dead at 4:02 a.m.

Detectives said they found a half empty bottle of 1800 Tequila and cut limes in the kitchen and signs of a physical struggle and foul play.

Two people in a neighboring apartment reported hearing a man's voice yelling and lots of loud noises that lasted for about two hours, police said.

During questioning Sunday morning Lopez initially told investigators that he and Nemeth had been having rough sex and that she went into the bathroom, vomited and collapsed, the arrest report said.

Further questioning revealed a different story.

Lopez told detectives he became a "monster" when Nemeth called out her ex-husband's name two times while they were having sex. He said hearing someone else's name during sex upset and enraged him, investigators said.

474x267

Fidel Lopez

(Photos courtesy of the Broward Sheriff's Office)
Lopez said he left Nemeth in the closet where they were having sex and started breaking things throughout the apartment, smashing the rear sliding glass door and punching holes in the walls, police said.

He went back to the closet where Nemeth was lying unconscious and he started inserting a beer bottle, a flat iron for hair, and both fists inside of her, investigators said.

Lopez said he inserted his arm up to his elbow and ripped out part of her intestines, detectives said.

He carried her into the bathroom and tried to put water on Nemeth's face, but she did not wake up.

Lopez told police he then washed the blood off his hands in the bathroom sink, went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then started to panic.

After further efforts to clean the apartment, Lopez told police he checked on Nemeth in the bathroom, found that she wasn't breathing and called 911, according to the arrest report.

Lopez was arrested at 2 p.m. Sunday and charged with first-degree murder, records show.

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement shows only one other arrest for disorderly intoxication in 2014 on Lopez's record.
 
Rambo said:
Right down the road, baby! Emphasis mine.

Sunrise murder suspect accused of disemboweling girlfriend | (Warning: Graphic content)

Sunrise murder suspect accused of disemboweling girlfriend | (Warning: Graphic content)

In a fit of tequila-fueled rage, a Sunrise man is accused of killing and disemboweling his girlfriend because she uttered her ex-husband's name twice during sex.

By Wayne K. Roustan Sun Sentinelcontact the reporter
Sunrise man accused of killing, disemboweling girlfriend
Woman killed by enraged boyfriend in Sunrise after she utters ex-husband's name during sex, police say
In a tequila-fueled rage, a Sunrise man is accused of killing and disemboweling his girlfriend because she uttered her ex-husband's name twice during sex.

Fidel Lopez called 911 about 3:39 a.m. Sunday and told the operator his girlfriend Maria Nemeth was having trouble breathing and was going to die, according to the arrest report filed in the case.

Sunrise police found Lopez crying for help next to Nemeth's naked body on the floor of the bathroom with blood and body tissue around the apartment that Nemeth, 31, and Lopez, 24, had shared for about one week in the 1600 block of Northwest 128th Drive, the report stated.

The bathroom door was ripped off its hinges and there was blood and tissue in the bathroom, a bedroom closet, and smeared on walls and doors. There were several holes in the walls and a shattered sliding glass door, police said.

Sunrise Fire-Rescue pronounced Nemeth dead at 4:02 a.m.

Detectives said they found a half empty bottle of 1800 Tequila and cut limes in the kitchen and signs of a physical struggle and foul play.

Two people in a neighboring apartment reported hearing a man's voice yelling and lots of loud noises that lasted for about two hours, police said.

During questioning Sunday morning Lopez initially told investigators that he and Nemeth had been having rough sex and that she went into the bathroom, vomited and collapsed, the arrest report said.

Further questioning revealed a different story.

Lopez told detectives he became a "monster" when Nemeth called out her ex-husband's name two times while they were having sex. He said hearing someone else's name during sex upset and enraged him, investigators said.

474x267

Fidel Lopez

(Photos courtesy of the Broward Sheriff's Office)
Lopez said he left Nemeth in the closet where they were having sex and started breaking things throughout the apartment, smashing the rear sliding glass door and punching holes in the walls, police said.

He went back to the closet where Nemeth was lying unconscious and he started inserting a beer bottle, a flat iron for hair, and both fists inside of her, investigators said.

Lopez said he inserted his arm up to his elbow and ripped out part of her intestines, detectives said.

He carried her into the bathroom and tried to put water on Nemeth's face, but she did not wake up.

Lopez told police he then washed the blood off his hands in the bathroom sink, went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then started to panic.

After further efforts to clean the apartment, Lopez told police he checked on Nemeth in the bathroom, found that she wasn't breathing and called 911, according to the arrest report.

Lopez was arrested at 2 p.m. Sunday and charged with first-degree murder, records show.

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement shows only one other arrest for disorderly intoxication in 2014 on Lopez's record.
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Wow. Just wow
 
Let The Woman Keep Her Gator!

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Mary Thorn is great friends with her pet alligator, Rambo. She loves Rambo and Rambo loves her. Don’t let the government take Rambo away from Mary!

Mary took care of Rambo forever. She dresses him up so he won’t get sunburned and keeps him safe. He gives her kisses and is nice as pie. He’s a house gator.

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Keep Rambo and Mary Together! Where else will a gator get a life this sweet?


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I don’t give a dang what the letter of the law says. Mary and Rambo are clearly best friends. Support Rambo! He’s always happy to see you.

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Now that’s a cool gator.


 
good news

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/may/21/african-nile-crocodiles-captured-florida

Man-eating crocodiles surface in Florida swamps
Three juveniles of African species may not be only ones, say experts


The Nile crocodile can grow up to 5.5 metres. One was found on a porch in Miami. Photograph: Joe Wasilewski/AP

Researchers at the University of Florida have found a man-eating African species of crocodile among native populations in the state’s swamps and Everglades.

It is unclear how the Nile crocodile, Crocodylus niloticus, which can grow up to 5.5 metres (18 feet) in length and was blamed for at least 480 attacks on people and 123 fatalities in Africa between 2010 and 2014, arrived in the state.

But DNA analysis has confirmed that three juveniles have been identified in the state, including one that was relaxing on a house porch in Miami. The local alligators do not prey on humans, but the unwelcome imports have unsurprisingly made headlines in the state.

Kenneth Krysko, a herpetology collections manager at the Florida Museum of Natural History, confirmed that the specimens are linked to native populations in South Africa. He told the journal Herpetological Conservation and Biology that the species can survive and potentially thrive in sub-tropical Florida.

“The odds that the few of us who study Florida reptiles have found all of the Nile crocs out there is probably unlikely. We know that they can survive in the Florida wilderness for numerous years, we know that they grow quickly here and we know their behaviour in their native range, and there is no reason to suggest that would change here in Florida.”

Crocodylus niloticus is considered a generalist, unfussy predator, and has clearly adapted to the local food supply, from native birds, fish and mammals, including domestic pets, to the state’s native crocodile and alligator. The researchers looked at one juvenile specimen that grew nearly 28% faster than wild Nile crocodile juveniles.

The three captured specimens were genetically identical, suggesting they came from the same source. But that source remains mysterious – the reptiles do not match with any Nile crocodiles currently housed in US zoos.

However, the study noted that large groups of Nile crocodiles have been imported from South Africa and Madagascar, both for display at places such as Disney’s Animal Kingdom, and to supply Florida’s pet trade. Pet owners are the most likely source of introduction.

Florida has the world’s largest number of invasive species. The spiny lionfish, believed to have been released during Hurricane Andrew in 1992, has caused devastation to native populations of reef-dwelling fish across the Caribbean. There is also the Cuban tree frog, which has been found as far north as Jacksonville.

Short of the latest visitor, the invasive species that attracts the greatest attention is the Burmese python. These monsters are now common enough for authorities to organise and license python hunts.

The Miami Herald reported in March that biologists bagged more than 2,000 pounds of Burmese pythons – in just one county. One snake, measuring almost 5 metres and weighing about 63kg (140 pounds), set a new record for males caught in the wild in Florida. Using radio trackers, scientists found the snakes like to occupy gopher tortoise burrows, and found six males and a female squeezed into a “mating ball”. They are so numerous they have become one of the region’s top predators. Research suggests the pythons are responsible for a sharp decline in the population of Everglades marsh rabbits and for a decrease in deer.

“The ecological impact of these animals is just over the top,” said Ian Bartoszek, a biologist at the Conservancy of Southwest Florida. “We’re starting to get a sense they eat bigger up the food chain.”

But now the state has new worries. According to the University of Florida study, its Atlantic coast and the entire Gulf of Mexico coastline are favourable for Nile crocodiles.

“My hope as a biologist is that the introduction of Nile crocodiles in Florida opens everyone’s eyes to the problem of invasive species that we have here in our state,” Krysko said. “Now here’s another one, but this time it isn’t just a tiny house gecko from Africa.”

However, Allyson Gantt, a spokeswoman for Everglades National Park, where one of the reptiles was found, rejected the idea that any Nile crocs were still roaming in the park.

Some Everglades visitors might not be aware of the differences between crocodiles and alligators, complicating efforts to confirm any remaining crocs. Crocodiles have angular snouts, and their lower teeth are exposed when their mouths are closed. Alligator snouts are rounded, with few exposed lower teeth. Nile crocs are usually bronze or brownish yellow; by contrast, alligators are blackish green.


now if we can only get them out into the walmarts to help get them fed...
 
Rambo said:
good news

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/may/21/african-nile-crocodiles-captured-florida

Man-eating crocodiles surface in Florida swamps
Three juveniles of African species may not be only ones, say experts


The Nile crocodile can grow up to 5.5 metres. One was found on a porch in Miami. Photograph: Joe Wasilewski/AP

Researchers at the University of Florida have found a man-eating African species of crocodile among native populations in the state’s swamps and Everglades.

It is unclear how the Nile crocodile, Crocodylus niloticus, which can grow up to 5.5 metres (18 feet) in length and was blamed for at least 480 attacks on people and 123 fatalities in Africa between 2010 and 2014, arrived in the state.

But DNA analysis has confirmed that three juveniles have been identified in the state, including one that was relaxing on a house porch in Miami. The local alligators do not prey on humans, but the unwelcome imports have unsurprisingly made headlines in the state.

Kenneth Krysko, a herpetology collections manager at the Florida Museum of Natural History, confirmed that the specimens are linked to native populations in South Africa. He told the journal Herpetological Conservation and Biology that the species can survive and potentially thrive in sub-tropical Florida.

“The odds that the few of us who study Florida reptiles have found all of the Nile crocs out there is probably unlikely. We know that they can survive in the Florida wilderness for numerous years, we know that they grow quickly here and we know their behaviour in their native range, and there is no reason to suggest that would change here in Florida.”

Crocodylus niloticus is considered a generalist, unfussy predator, and has clearly adapted to the local food supply, from native birds, fish and mammals, including domestic pets, to the state’s native crocodile and alligator. The researchers looked at one juvenile specimen that grew nearly 28% faster than wild Nile crocodile juveniles.

The three captured specimens were genetically identical, suggesting they came from the same source. But that source remains mysterious – the reptiles do not match with any Nile crocodiles currently housed in US zoos.

However, the study noted that large groups of Nile crocodiles have been imported from South Africa and Madagascar, both for display at places such as Disney’s Animal Kingdom, and to supply Florida’s pet trade. Pet owners are the most likely source of introduction.

Florida has the world’s largest number of invasive species. The spiny lionfish, believed to have been released during Hurricane Andrew in 1992, has caused devastation to native populations of reef-dwelling fish across the Caribbean. There is also the Cuban tree frog, which has been found as far north as Jacksonville.

Short of the latest visitor, the invasive species that attracts the greatest attention is the Burmese python. These monsters are now common enough for authorities to organise and license python hunts.

The Miami Herald reported in March that biologists bagged more than 2,000 pounds of Burmese pythons – in just one county. One snake, measuring almost 5 metres and weighing about 63kg (140 pounds), set a new record for males caught in the wild in Florida. Using radio trackers, scientists found the snakes like to occupy gopher tortoise burrows, and found six males and a female squeezed into a “mating ball”. They are so numerous they have become one of the region’s top predators. Research suggests the pythons are responsible for a sharp decline in the population of Everglades marsh rabbits and for a decrease in deer.

“The ecological impact of these animals is just over the top,” said Ian Bartoszek, a biologist at the Conservancy of Southwest Florida. “We’re starting to get a sense they eat bigger up the food chain.”

But now the state has new worries. According to the University of Florida study, its Atlantic coast and the entire Gulf of Mexico coastline are favourable for Nile crocodiles.

“My hope as a biologist is that the introduction of Nile crocodiles in Florida opens everyone’s eyes to the problem of invasive species that we have here in our state,” Krysko said. “Now here’s another one, but this time it isn’t just a tiny house gecko from Africa.”

However, Allyson Gantt, a spokeswoman for Everglades National Park, where one of the reptiles was found, rejected the idea that any Nile crocs were still roaming in the park.

Some Everglades visitors might not be aware of the differences between crocodiles and alligators, complicating efforts to confirm any remaining crocs. Crocodiles have angular snouts, and their lower teeth are exposed when their mouths are closed. Alligator snouts are rounded, with few exposed lower teeth. Nile crocs are usually bronze or brownish yellow; by contrast, alligators are blackish green.


now if we can only get them out into the walmarts to help get them fed...
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The Walmart plan would work and then the wildlife service could reintroduce people with teeth to FLA
 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...ick-toxic-algae-invading-coastline/?tid=sm_tw

This disgusting, ‘guacamole-thick’ goop is invading Florida’s coastline


The green, putrid sludge coating south Florida’s usually scenic coastline and waterways looks a lot like what happens to leftovers abandoned in an unreachable corner of the refrigerator.

In some places, the water seems to be growing thick, furry mold. The goop has been likened to the texture of chunky guacamole and compared to a festering, infected sore. And for those who watch “Game of Thrones,” the almost neon-green spillage seeping into the ocean could be best equated to a vat of wildfire.

Aerial footage makes the smelly, pungent invasion look like a growing oil spill, but it’s not; it’s just algae, and lots of it.

The mysterious blooms sprang up in June and seem to be spreading. They’ve given south Florida residents rashes and coughs and are choking the oxygen out of the region’s wildlife-rich waters, threatening fish, birds and the once-endangered manatee.

“This is our Deep Water Horizon,” Doug Smith, a commissioner in Martin County, told the Palm Beach Post, referencing the devastating BP oil spill in 2010.

enough to cover Delaware in two feet of water — led the government to “back-pump” billions of gallons of polluted runoff into the lake to curb flooding and save crops.

But then Lake Okeechobee began to overflow as well, forcing the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the federal agency charged with monitoring water levels, to make a tough decision. It could open a series of levees surrounding the lake and dump the excess water into rivers and estuaries that lead to the coast, or it could let the lake continue to rise, putting thousands of people and the towns they live in at risk for life-threatening flooding.

It chose to open the floodgates.

Now those fragile ecosystems are in danger, and Floridians are pointing fingers in many directions.

Some blame the pollution that plagues Lake Okeechobee. Others say the Army Corps should end its relentless dumping. Gov. Rick Scott (R), who declared a state of emergency in the four affected counties this week but has yet to visit himself, has drawn the ire of a collection of residents who say his administration hasn’t done enough.

Scott is blaming President Obama.

In his Executive Order issued Thursday declaring a state of emergency, the governor claimed that a lack of funding from the federal government and Obama’s administration has caused the environmental crisis in south Florida. The Herbert Hoover Dike, funded and maintained by the U.S. government via the Corps of Engineers, stretches all the way around Lake Okeechobee at a height of 30 feet. It was built in its current form in the 1960s, after a rash of destructive hurricanes and tropical storms flooded the lake throughout the early 1900s, killing thousands of people and devastating crops and livestock.

[This massive seagrass die-off is the latest sign we’re failing to protect the Everglades]

But the dike, composed of natural materials such as soil, rock and shells, is in dire need of repairs and has been for some time, officials say. To prevent a breach, the Corps of Engineers tries to maintain lake water levels between 12.5 and 15.5 feet above sea level, reported the Associated Press.

Scott said the dike should be able to hold as much as 18 feet of water.

Had the Obama administration provided the “necessary funding,” the governor said in his executive order, “the Corps would not have been required to discharge approximately 30 billion gallons of flood waters from Lake Okeechobee to the St. Lucie and Caloosahatchee Rivers and estuaries.”

Scott faulted the federal government for inadequate funding and maintenance of the Hoover dike, and said in a statement that “Florida can no longer afford to wait.”

according to the AP.

On Thursday, the Corps announced it would cede to the pressure, beginning a “pulse release” Friday that will reduce output levels.

“After visiting with local elected officials in Martin County yesterday and viewing the algae first hand, we felt compelled to take action, even though we need to remain vigilant in managing the level of Lake Okeechobee,” Col. Jason Kirk, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Jacksonville District Commander, said in a statement.

Sen. Nelson, who visited the area this week, said the issue shouldn’t fall just on the shoulders of the federal government. He called on the state legislature to spend money on environmental projects already approved by Florida voters, reported AP, including the purchase of land surrounding Lake Okeechobee for water storage instead of diverting funds to pay for administrative costs.

[In Florida, a water-pollution warning that glows at night]

This isn’t the first time floodwaters have wreaked havoc on the Florida coastline, not even this year. After a record rainfall in January, reported the Tampa Bay Times, the Army Corps released billions of gallons of overflow waters into rivers flowing both east and west of Lake Okeechobee that eventually dump into the Atlantic Ocean and Gulf of Mexico, respectively. That release killed sea grass and oysters and threatened coral reefs, according to the Times.

But managing Okeechobee’s water levels is a necessary evil, one that could save thousands of human lives.

That’s why the dike was built in the first place. Hurricanes in 1926 and 1928 assaulted the region, flooding small towns around the lake’s edge where mostly poor, minority farm workers lived; 2,500 people were killed. The 1928 hurricane inspired the storm in Zora Neale Hurston’s novel “Their Eyes Were Watching God.”

A second-coming of that tragedy seems to be far from Floridians’ minds at the moment; they’re too busy pinching their noses and fretting over the monumental consequences the sludgy algae waters will have on the businesses central to their economy, especially during a holiday weekend.

Morning Mix newsletter

Stories that will be the talk of the morning.

One fishing captain described the chunky mess to AP as “100 percent horror.”

“I would describe them as guacamole-thick,” Gabriella Ferrero, spokeswoman for Martin County, told AP. “And it stinks.”


videos in the link definitely worth checking out John Lee Pettimore III John Lee Pettimore III Leitmotif Leitmotif
 
Sounds like the problem is much more likely to be due to unchecked agricultural run-off from sugar-cane farming, which is flushing enormous amounts of fertiliser into the lake and causing the algal blooms, rather than being caused by President Obama...

Of course, it's much harder to stop environmental pollution than it is to blame another politician.
 
Journeyman said:
Sounds like the problem is much more likely to be due to unchecked agricultural run-off from sugar-cane farming, which is flushing enormous amounts of fertiliser into the lake and causing the algal blooms, rather than being caused by President Obama...

Of course, it's much harder to stop environmental pollution than it is to blame another politician.
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This. Yeah, the Feds could manage their discharges better (couldn't we all?), but the ultimate blame is the ridiculous corporate welfare system that props up Big Sugar.
 
Rambo said:
Do you guys have any of this farther north?
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Algae blooms? Occasionally in Tampa Bay, but they've done a really good job of reducing the wastewater flows - the bay is clearer/cleaner now than it's been in 75 years. The oysters and scallops are coming back after a long absence.

The panhandle very occasionally does, usually due to antiquated wastewater treatment facilities in the rural areas. A beach called Mashes' Sands (delightfully southern name) seems to be closed a lot. Not too widespread though, as the currents up here tend to be a lot stronger and the stuff gets dissipated more quickly.
 
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