Ridiculous Stories In The News


"'I’m aspirationally Jewish,' Musk continued. 'So I was like, ‘What are people talking about with this antisemitism?’ Because I never hear it at dinner conversations. It’s like an absurdity — at least in my friend circles.'"

I'm making matzo balls on Saturday. I'm spiritually Jewish.
 

Isn't this like wanting to work as a steward or stewardess but you're actually claustrophobic and have air sickness?
 

"'What I've done is horrible and I take full responsibility," he told The Sun newspaper. 'The only person to blame is me. I have roles and responsibilities that I'm aware of, and I've made stupid choices. But I need to own up to my mistakes - I owe it to everyone.'"

Does this statement work for a second time?

"Walker, an England international, is married to Annie Kilner. The couple have three children, with a fourth on the way.

Walker, who won the treble with club-side Manchester City last season, has reportedly moved out of his home with Kilner, and is living in a rented flat."

Samuel L Jackson Reaction GIF by Coming to America
 

"Staying in a live-in relationship for over a month without informing the authorities can invite punishment: up to three months in prison, a fine of up to 10,000 rupees ($120; £95), or both."

God forbid you are co-habiting and in a relationship with someone of the same sex.
 

"Staying in a live-in relationship for over a month without informing the authorities can invite punishment: up to three months in prison, a fine of up to 10,000 rupees ($120; £95), or both."

God forbid you are co-habiting and in a relationship with someone of the same sex.
28 days is fine tho fwiffo
 

"Behavioral and lifestyle modifications — such as diet and exercise — are still considered the first line of treatment, but for kids and teens in which those aren’t enough, pediatricians can now prescribe medication."

What happens when they reach middle age and their metabolism and hormones are shot?
 

"According to the filing, he said he bought the stock because 'he wanted to make enough money so that she did not have to work long hours anymore'."

So you bought the stock yourself? At least try to do insider trading properly...

Oh she was sacked and they are divorced now.
 

"In a costs ruling released on Feb. 20 related to a child custody case, it was revealed that Vancouver lawyer Chong Ke had used ChatGPT to prepare material submitted in the case. The material included citations to cases that don’t exist, something her opponent in the case called an AI 'allucination.'"

Why hire a lawyer? She's just going to use ChatGPT anyway. Luckily the other lawyer and the judge don't all use the same ChatGPT to verify.
 

"Is the love given to you by Karina fans not enough? Why did you choose to betray the fans? Please apologise directly. Otherwise, you will see a decrease in album sales and empty concert seats,"

Well I mean we were told Britney was a virgin even when she was with JT.
 

“'Before COVID, they were like $9 a sack at Restaurant Depot, I used to pick them up. During COVID, and after, it was $40 dollars. Right now, it’s $80,' said Lopez."

I'm not the only moaning about the price of onions!
 

"The dual emergence of the periodical cicadas, who are infamous for how loud they can be, is a rare phenomenon and is estimated to have last happened 221 years ago in 1803"

"For 2024, since cicadas will emerge from Maryland to Oklahoma, Illinois to Alabama, clearly, trillions of adult cicadas will be present - but not all in the same place at the same time."

"It's like an entire alien species living underneath our feet and then some prime number years they come out to say hello."

....Why do they need to say hello and inconvenience us? Can other animals eat them?
 
They've made me believe in love again. If any two kids are gonna make it . . . . .

 

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