My wife's former fiancee decided he's / she's transgender. About six years into his current marriage he had an epiphany. He changed his FB to reflect "female" and changed his name to the feminine form, wants us to refer to him as "her." His wife now calls him her wife. I can't believe I typed that last sentence. He hasn't done the operation yet; he's just decided that he is, no shit, a lesbian in a man's body. (Cue rimshot: "Who isn't?") They were over at our place for dinner a few months ago. He wore a dress. A couple of awkward silences but we bulldozed through it.
Gender identity issues tear some people apart; in his case, though, I think they're the only thing holding him together.
^ That's rather incredible they are staying with it. So nobody knew he started dressing the part? And will he eventually have the surgery?
Am I really the only one that suspects this business is a mental issue, not a geneder issue? I tried to talk to a feminazi about it once and she gave me a snort that made her nose hoop move. Suddenly I was an anti-gay pig and she wanted nothing to do with me for the rest of the evening. I mean, come on, isn't it reasonable to wonder about mental problems here?
I don't know how to say this next part without coming off like a macho asshole. So fuck it; let's just get that out of the way: I'm a macho asshole. I have a 17-inch neck, a high skin fade, and a boxer's nose. My car has a dragster scoop. I hunt. I've worked as both a stunt driver and a high-rise window washer; I met my wife dangling outside her 16th-floor cubicle window.
When I first met this guy -- her ex -- he struck me as effeminate, but that's typical; comparatively, most men I meet -- especially in downtown Seattle -- are effeminate. I'm cool with that. Seriously. The whole, spoon-chested-vegan-hipster, Prius-and-plaid shtick is big up here. I can't pull that off, but if it looks good on you, work it. Rock your thing, baby.
There's a certain air that . . . oh, man, I'm gonna get in trouble . . . that flamboyant men put on. It looks forced and strikes me as disingenuous. To be fair, I see the opposite of this in the Army: guys who are clearly acting the part of the tough guy. You can see it. It's bad acting, on both sides. (Edited: Similarly, there are men who are naturally effeminate, both gay and straight; and guys who naturally come off as the guy you want on your side in a bar fight, both gay and straight. It's the playacting that makes me grind my teeth. Be who you are.)
I couldn't figure out if this guy was gay, bi, confused, in the Witness Protection Program, or what his deal was. But when we first met, years ago, I could tell that he was acting normal. Like a junkie hiding a twitch. Nothing normal about this guy but man, he was going out of his way to convince me that he was normal. SO FUCKING NORMAL. Watch how normal I am.
I didn't see this coming. I knew something was coming eventually, but I would never have guessed this was it. God bless his wife, though. She's handling it with stunning alacrity and aplomb. The weirdest part, though, is that they've figured out that s/he's gay, but his/her wife isn't. It makes my head hurt.
This is Grayson Perry, a famous artist here in England. He very often dresses in bizarre outfits like the above. Thing is, when wearing them, he acts and talks just like normal, so you almost forget what he's wearing. I met him at a party once, and despite being dressed like in a massive red pvc frock and pantomime dame makeup, he came across as a friendly, clever, down-to-earth guy. It's odd.