TORONTONIANS AND OTHER NORTHMEN TAKE HEED

C

colco

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I will be visiting your fair country, specifically the city of Toronto. I require information as regards whores, gambling, narcotics, drinking and dining establishments (old and stuffy please) and thrift/charity shops. Please advise. I'l be staying in North York, with a car for at least three full days and no particular agenda.
 
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THEY'RE SLOW AREN'T THEY?

...otherwise we can address them at a regular volume.
 
I will be visiting your fair country, specifically the city of Toronto. I require information as regards whores, gambling, narcotics, drinking and dining establishments (old and stuffy please) and thrift/charity shops. Please advise. I'l be staying in North York, with a car for at least three full days and no particular agenda.

When are you going to be there?
 
Arriving late afternoon tomorrow, leaving early morning on Tuesday Thruth Thruth . As of now, anyway.
 
I thought Fwiffo Fwiffo was Aussie. Then I wondered why he was bitching about American rules football in another thread.
 
I will be visiting your fair country, specifically the city of Toronto. I require information as regards whores, gambling, narcotics, drinking and dining establishments (old and stuffy please) and thrift/charity shops. Please advise. I'l be staying in North York, with a car for at least three full days and no particular agenda.

If drinking advice is needed - fwiffo has an unrivalled reputation.

If old and stuffy advice is what you want - thruth has an unrivalled reputation.

If its idiocy advice you are after - arnathor has an unrivalled reputation.
 
Hell hath no greater fury than the wrath of an Aussie.

You're in North York. Where did you want to go? What do you drink for that matter? You mentioned "old and stuffy" - you're more into white tablecloth places?

Oh and how expansive your range of food will help - you only eat halal, you only eat with utensils, you're from the south so no more yankee bbq.

Also: have you been here before? I still to things that are new if you have.
 
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Thruth Thruth , sure you have recommendations for in a nice place to have a drink.

Hell hath no greater fury than the wrath of an Aussie.

You're in North York. Where did you want to go? What do you drink for that matter? You mentioned "old and stuffy" - you're more into white tablecloth places?

Oh and how expansive your range of food will help - you only eat halal, you only eat with utensils, you're from the south so no more yankee bbq.

Also: have you been here before? I still to things that are new if you have.

Fwiffo Fwiffo is the man for this job.

I will say - and this is very Thruthcentric - there is a Jazz combo at the Intercontinental on weekends that I will always go and hear. But only because two of the guys used to tour with Chet Baker and I enjoy going out for a butt with them and listening to stories about Chet. Plus I dig their playing.
 
Fwiffo Fwiffo is the man for this job.

I will say - and this is very Thruthcentric - there is a Jazz combo at the Intercontinental on weekends that I will always go and hear. But only because two of the guys used to tour with Chet Baker and I enjoy going out for a butt with them and listening to stories about Chet. Plus I dig their playing.
I'm sold
 
Hell hath no greater fury than the wrath of an Aussie.

You're in North York. Where did you want to go? What do you drink for that matter? You mentioned "old and stuffy" - you're more into white tablecloth places?

Oh and how expansive your range of food will help - you only eat halal, you only eat with utensils, you're from the south so no more yankee bbq.

Also: have you been here before? I still to things that are new if you have.

My first time in Toronto. I like establishments that don't play music, or, at most there is a piano player. That have some history. With clean private restrooms for insufflating cocaine
 
At most a piano player..uhm...Tom Jones steakhouse? I'm trying to remember a place that doesn't play any music. Really struggling...

Okay, here goes.

First time in Toronto, I'd skip the CN Tower (and One Eighty nee Panorama Lounge) and go to the Hyatt on Avenue road. Go up to the Rooftop bar (roof lounge or whatever they call it now). There's a south facing view and a walkout patio/balcony where you can take photographs of downtown core Toronto without a chain linked fence or a window with children and their grubby finger prints. It's a bar without a television - a proper bar. I think the Portuguese bartender who has been there since the 1960s still works there this year.

Similar establishments: Library Bar at the Royal York (no view, just history). I'm more partial to another Royal York bar (York Station - modeled after a train's bar car) but it's not open during the time you're over.

Thruth mentioned jazz. Don't know if you fancy it. If you do, a neat place to go is Jazz Bistro. It's a renovated jazz club in an old building. I don't usually go on the ground floor and pay cover. I go up to the top where they have an open patio in the back with some sofas (and unfortunately some televisions). Soundtrack is usually pretty quiet and you can have decent conversation.

Toronto Temperance Society - This is the place my liver hates. It's a speakeasy, windows all shuttered, dim lighting, pre-Prohibition cocktails, Billie Holiday in the background. You can skirt the members only swipe card door by going downstairs to Sidecar and either be very charming and say you want to check out this cocktail bar and see what membership would be like...or buy a drink and ask about the place - they usually boost you upstairs. (or find me) No televisions, no mobiles.

Similar establishments: Civil liberties, Museum Tavern (all sorts of whisky flights), DW Alexander..but they are a lot louder. Same décor.

Midfield Wine Bar - I usually take wine lovers here. They do flights and mini tastings. More like a neighbourhood type place. They serve food but I've always skipped it.

Queen & Beaver - this is really the only proper pub in the city. Don't get a table downstairs with the host/hostess - just walk upstairs. Quietest times would be 11am when they start alcohol service or mid afternoon (3pm). I don't remember them playing too much music. They have the usual library, papers, couches, and a small balcony. Only one television that only turns on for footy, rugby or cricket. When I'm not engaged on weekends, I kill a few hours here with a pint of Pride.

French places - I have a personal favourite but it's love/hate: Le Select. I love coming here with the ladies and popping open a bottle of wine and cheese plate.

Alternatives: La Societe (copy of Balthazar), Cluny (bonus, you get to see the Distillery District), Alo (this is new, I haven't been but I heard nice things, 3 floors up from a burger place at a busy intersection - tasting menu only).

One bar I went to recently was Bar Raval. It's a tapas/pintxos type place. Mostly standing room. Interesting décor. But quite loud at pretty much all times of the day except mid afternoon or early in the morning (but then you don't get booze). There was a queue at 12am on a Tuesday the last time I was there.

Another that I come back quite often just for the view is The Chase. Go down the alley, go inside. Don't go to the fish & oyster ground level restaurant. Take the lift up. There's a bar that is half inside and half outside. If you sit outside, I think it's quieter when the patio isn't full. If you sit inside at the bar, you can see the 360 degree wrap around window restaurant. I don't remember the music being too loud. It can get very busy though. More of a place for posh people to blow money on $75 chickens.

Alternatives: Beverly Hotel Rooftop Bar, but the music is loud. Sweet talk the bartender/hostess on the main floor to use the lift or you have to hike it up the stairs because you're not a hotel guest.

I can think of many more places but your volume requirements are a bit restrictive.
 
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Toronto Temperance Society - This is the place my liver hates. It's a speakeasy, windows all shuttered, dim lighting, pre-Prohibition cocktails, Billie Holiday in the background. You can skirt the members only swipe card door by going downstairs to Sidecar and either be very charming and say you want to check out this cocktail bar and see what membership would be like...or buy a drink and ask about the place - they usually boost you upstairs. (or find me)
This sounds like a great bar and a Costco all rolled into one. I think I'm in heaven.
 
Fwiffo, this is valuable, thank you so much.

Let's say I was looking to get drunk at breakfast on champagne, and I was willing to pay good money for it. Where would I go?
 
Fwiffo, this is valuable, thank you so much.

Let's say I was looking to get drunk at breakfast on champagne, and I was willing to pay good money for it. Where would I go?

Colette Grand Café | Toronto

They have a weekend brunch..it's owned by the same people who own The Chase. Has a jazz duo or trio in the evenings. I've never been by on a weekend but I did blow $500 on a weekday lunch once.

Ugh, I feel bad for typing the other ones because I think only the French places I noted above are open for a breakfast (or brunch..they don't open at 8am except for Bar Raval). Everything else is pretty much after 5pm or 6pm.

Just checked, occasionally Splendido does brunch on weekends but not this holiday weekend. It's just the $180 dinner tasting menu. But another place with a deep wine cellar you can blow money on.
 
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This sounds like a great bar and a Costco all rolled into one. I think I'm in heaven.

It's a copy of the ones in Manhattan - like most restaurants and bars in Toronto.
 
I'm writing this stuff down too, I'm only 45 minutes away.
 
I'm writing this stuff down too, I'm only 45 minutes away.

From your 2cm by 2cm portrait, I reckon these aren't for you. You should be stumbling up the steep set of stairs to Lo Pan and indulge in clichéd Chinese decor that belongs in a 1980s Kurt Russell movie whilst downing big Mac bao.

Or downing pints of German beer at Otto's Berlin Doner in Kensington and yes press the button on the wall when you're in the toilet.

Or getting drunk and then trying to learn bocce ball at Track and Field.

Or buying Haitian rum at Rhum Bar by the quarts. Make the bartender go up and down the ladder to fetch obsure rums from South and Central America.

Or grabbing $2 a piece fried chicken during happy hour at Bar Fancy (3 pieces per drink).

Or having Dyno wings served in a Asian takeaway box at Hanmoto at 2am under hypnosis of hip hop from yesteryear.
 
More Arnathor's thing... They make half decent old fashioneds for a "Korean" place trying to be an izakaya run by hipsters with beards and tattoos.
 

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I've been to that Hyatt bar with the boss, I liked it. I don't want to go to establishments full of TVs unless it is for UFC.
 

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