A Rat's Tail Of Adventure Through The Attic Of Leland's Mind

Scherensammler

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You could get some really sexy, well trained lab rats (from Monkeyface), insert them into your dry walls and wait until the remaining rat shags itself to death. Then collect the sexy lab rats and get rid of them, since they might have been impregnated by a super rat that survived poison.

Alternatively, you could play the most annoying music you can find and wait until the rat commits suicide.
Here's a contender (put it on loop):

 

Russell Street

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Have you politely explained to the rat(s) that this is your property and that you'd like for them to go elsewhere? You can post signs for them. We have a faux-officious "NO GEESE ALLOWED" sign to keep the Canada gooses away at work.
 

fxh

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Invite noodles to share the house with you, give hima tape measure and see which capitulates first; him or the rats.

OTOH isn't he Korean? - just let the rats know it will be Korean BBQ time if they don't piss off.
 

LelandJ

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Apparently farm rats feed primarily on rice taste good unlike their city counterparts.
 

LelandJ

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There's only rat up there now and it's been very inactive making very little noise, I think it ate just enough poison to suffer a horrible multi-day dying process.
 

fxh

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I was thinking with my photoshopping skills I might to able to get freelance work.
 

LelandJ

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Havahart caught a live adult rat very early this morning, clawing at the cage relentlessly and woke me up. I had to put in earplugs to get back to sleep.
 

Rambo

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Havahart caught a live adult rat very early this morning, clawing at the cage relentlessly and woke me up. I had to put in earplugs to get back to sleep.
Havahart?
 

LelandJ

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Singaporean chick at the sauna caught a rat today too, she drove across the river and let it out. Then two other girls started talking about a children's rat book which caused me to lose my breath, my face is still red, and had to leave the sauna earlier than I wanted to.
 

Leitmotif

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I wish a rat infestation for you in the future.
I grew up in the ghetto. This is the problem with America, a generation of pussies in the rise when it comes to this kind of shit.
 

LelandJ

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Contribute then and tell your rat stories, bitching about me bitching about rats is NAGL.
 

Leitmotif

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Contribute then and tell your rat stories, bitching about me bitching about rats is NAGL.
Our rats are not as big as the monstrosities you see here. Probably because everything here is full of chemicals. I once was waiting for the bus in Miami and I saw a rat that instead of running was fucking jumping. Put food with a poisonous chemical in it, should do the trick. Also a cat, nothing beats a cat to keep your house clear of rats.
 

fxh

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I think this is The Noodles Good Natured Advice thread of DW. Leland asks for advice on rats. Us knowledgeable people give advice. Leland ignores it. Ask for more advice. We give. He ignores it.

I don't know how many times we have told him that harnessing these rats for fun and profit is the way to go. Yet time and time again he insists on ignoring this advice. Just watch him reject Leitmotif's sensible advice on Crunchy Rat Meals.
 

Darkside

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And then people wonder why this isn't taken seriously as a menswear forum.

I still laughed though.
 
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