Today, In Awesome

[OfficePants]

HAR HAR HAR, my username was changed to Jackass. I have no objection to this, it is most certainly true, but I was not the one who changed the name. Seems someone is upset. Someone disagreed with the Master. Walk carefully.

We're all jackasses. Just like we were all Amaricans on 9/11 and we were all Charlie a few weeks ago. I'm in solidarity, je suis Jackass, whoever the fuck you are.

 

[Thruth]

Nor were you Jackass a couple of days ago.

 

[OfficePants]

Nor were you Jackass a couple of days ago.

Post of the day.

 

[LelandJ]

Gufas will sock back one day right?

 

[Grand Potentate]

Gufas will sock back one day right?

You people are trying to kill me. I'm sure of this.

 

[LelandJ]

You people are trying to kill me. I'm sure of this.

This would relieve you of healthcaregov misery though.

 

[Grand Potentate]

This would relieve you of healthcaregov misery though.

You're right. I'm not sure which one is worse though.

 

[Thruth]

Death is Fine But Dying....

 

[Grand Potentate]

Death is Fine But Dying....

I've already died before. Its not so hot.

 

[Grand Potentate]

This is great

 

[Grand Potentate]

The Onion is the best

Features Of The Apple Car | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Features Of The Apple Car
Infographic • Science & Technology • technology • automotive • apple • ISSUE 51•07 • Feb 16, 2015

After dominating sales of smartphones, tablets, and other electronics, Apple is reportedly secretly designing its first car, code-named Titan. Here are some features of Apple’s rumored car:

• Windshield features four times as many pixels as reality
• Full vertical integration with Apple Gasoline
• Driver prompted to sign into iCloud before each gear shift
• Compatible with most major roads
• Recommends new driving speeds based on user’s past favorites
• Sleek, unobtrusive airbags
• Cup holder
• Windshield cracks easily, though car typically still works fine afterward
• Sticker price of $85,000 drops to $199 with two-year Verizon contract
• Wheels turn into rainbow pinwheels whenever car stalls
• Lightweight but powerful enough to careen across six lanes of traffic and through guardrails of overpass
• Comes with couple of cool Apple stickers

 

[Grand Potentate]

Buzz Aldrin, everlasting badass

 

[OfficePants]

Embedded media from this media site is no longer available

 

[Russell Street]

Truly a master penman.

 

[OfficePants]

Ha ha. Love this guy.

 

[Russell Street]

NY to LA. 26 Hours. 28 Minutes. With A GT-R-Powered, Dual-Control Infiniti Q50. - The Truth About Cars
I'm still reading this, but the latest Cannonball Run car has two functioning steering wheels and foot controls, a bevy of law-enforcement detection devices, and a friggin smokescreen.
NY to LA. 26 Hours. 28 Minutes. With A GT-R-Powered, Dual-Control Infiniti Q50. - The Truth About Cars

‘Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.” I’ve always felt this way about firearms and was instantly convinced, and so ordered installation without informing my teammates. Upon their unhappy discovery of the device, we agreed upon a usage protocol that was satisfactory to all: We would only deploy the smoke dispenser to create a smoke screen if traffic behind us was at least a mile away, in daytime, and a police vehicle was in pursuit, such that we could slow the pursuit and make an escape. Three NORAD-style keyed safety switches were installed, one beside each team member. TWO such switches had to be enabled simultaneously in order to deploy the system...“The smoke generator was only used once. Effectively.”

 

[Grand Potentate]

This is fucking incredible

 

[Grand Potentate]

This woman is nuttier than a fruitcake, but this is the best legal brief I've ever seen

Very Angry Lady Writes Thoroughly Enjoyable "Fuck You" Legal Brief

 

[Zé Ferreira]

This woman is nuttier than a fruitcake, but this is the best legal brief I've ever seen

Very Angry Lady Writes Thoroughly Enjoyable "Fuck You" Legal Brief

Best comment below:

This is what Jefferson was going for with the Declaration. He just had nothing like this lady’s gift for language or invective.

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of go fuck yourself.

 

[Grand Potentate]

This is a good one for MFDoom and anyone else who thinks spoiled kids should get taught a lesson

Psycho Professor Stone Cold Failed the Whole Class

 

[Russell Street]

I'm not inclined to applaud a college professor (or an Irwin Horwitz) but :hi::applause::rock:
and millennial weenies...:bash:

 

[Grand Potentate]

I'm not inclined to applaud a college professor (or an Irwin Horwitz)

Why not an Irwin Horwitz? Too jewey for you?

 

[Russell Street]

Why not an Irwin Horwitz? Too jewey for you?

Kind of. The name invokes a persnickety fussbudget. However, in this case, I am fine with that.

 

[OfficePants]

Kind of. The name invokes a persnickety fussbudget. However, in this case, I am fine with that.

I'm with the professor. Grades in college are like open book tests now.

 

[Grand Potentate]

Don't fuck with a black mother

 

[OfficePants]

Don't fuck with a black mother

Nice, but where's his dad?

 

[Grand Potentate]

Nice, but where's his dad?

What does that have to do with the video?

 

[OfficePants]

What does that have to do with the video?

His dad should be there with his mom as his dad could scoop his ass up because his mom couldn't, and didn't. The kid just walked off. That's what it has to do with the video. You need a grown man's strength sometimes.

 

[Grand Potentate]

His dad should be there with his mom as his dad could scoop his ass up because his mom couldn't, and didn't. The kid just walked off. That's what it has to do with the video. You need a grown man's strength sometimes.

Jesus. You and Pauly Chase should start a band.

 

[Pauly Chase]

We just aren't bleeding hearts. Or a youtube channel.

 

[OfficePants]

Or a band.

 

[Grand Potentate]

Or a band.

Add in Russell and we can name you The Three Putzes

 

[OfficePants]

Add in Russell and we can name you The Three Putzes

Add you and we get 4 Non Blondes.

 

[Thruth]

This is a good one for MFDoom and anyone else who thinks spoiled kids should get taught a lesson

Psycho Professor Stone Cold Failed the Whole Class

More of this should happen. Just because someone pays tuition does not give them any rights or entitlements other than the privledge to learn. Well that and getting drunk and trying to get laid.

 

[Zé Ferreira]

More of this should happen. Just because someone pays tuition does not give them any rights or entitlements other than the privledge to learn. Well that and getting drunk and trying to get laid.

I just saw this article too. No problems here with leaving children behind if they don't earn it. One of the great policy failings of the last decades.

 

[Grand Potentate]

Elon Musk, changing the world once again

Tesla Energy is Elon Musk's battery system that can power homes, businesses, and the world | The Verge

 

[OfficePants]

Elon Musk, changing the world once again

Tesla Energy is Elon Musk's battery system that can power homes, businesses, and the world | The Verge

He's kinda late to the party, so it's not some revolution. I think the next stop on the train are things such as these:

Redox Power Plans To Roll Out Dishwasher-Sized Fuel Cells That Cost 90% Less Than Currently Available Fuel Cells - Forbes

Redox Power Systems, LLC

Home fuel cells that run on natural gas. No more power grid, basically. Bloom sorta triggered it, I believe. Lots of other players are emerging.

Distributed Generation - What is it? | Bloom Energy

 

[OfficePants]

And:

A Technical Note About Why Redox Fuel Cells Are Different From Bloom Energy Ones - Forbes

 

[MFDoom]

This is a good one for MFDoom and anyone else who thinks spoiled kids should get taught a lesson

Psycho Professor Stone Cold Failed the Whole Class

My fucking Alma Mater. They used to expel people caught cheating. Guess even they got a bit soft.

 

[Russell Street]

'Baltimore's Batman' defended The Old Clubhouse bar with a MACHETE | Daily Mail Online