What happened today that neither pissed you off nor made you happy but is nevertheless noteworthy?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ETF
  • Start date Start date
bryce said:
The rest of my $57 bill was easter and passover candy.
Click to expand...

Again with the passover candy. What's happening here? It's suddenly in every thread. So Bryce, are you in a combinatorial judeo-christain marriage? Otherwise, do tell why both candy outlays are deemed requisite.
 
OfficePants said:
Again with the passover candy. What's happening here? It's suddenly in every thread. So Bryce, are you in a combinatorial judeo-christain marriage? Otherwise, do tell why both candy outlays are deemed requisite.
Click to expand...
Maybe its because he's a fat fuck and he loves his seasonal sweets?
 
Quick update on the Oscars from The Great Satan, for anyone interested:

"Ellen changed her outfit, and she's crazy."
 
Since it was National Pancake Day, I ate at IHOP this morning. They've hiked their prices up so high now that a breakfast for 2 costs $25. And that was just an omelet, a senior special, and 2 cups of coffee. This has been bugging me all day.
 
Rambo said:
Since it was National Pancake Day, I ate at IHOP this morning. They've hiked their prices up so high now that a breakfast for 2 costs $25. And that was just an omelet, a senior special, and 2 cups of coffee. This has been bugging me all day.
Click to expand...

There are very, very few places anymore worth paying for. Food hikes (as I predicted years ago) have gone through the roof. $10 to eat a burger and fries at Five Guys? No thanks.
 
And who might that be?

I treat lesbo porn like a blow job. Solely for the purpose of getting me warmed up for the main event, where 75% of the time it's done poorly and lacking in skill and realism.
 
I was walking the dog in a London park yesterday, and a homeless man, clearly drunk at 10am, was walking towards me. As he passed, he nodded and said "good morning" to me in a surprisingly posh and coherent voice. I said good morning back. Thing is he had not acknowledged any of the people in front of me I had just watched him pass. Why did he single me out? Did he somehow recognise a kindred spirit? I was left feeling that I may have had a glimpse into my own future.
 
I got a campaign flier from my Congressman. In the photo, he has at least one unbuttoned button-down collar visible.
 
acidboy said:
just found out that my ex-partner and his merry band of jerk-offs were trying to take Japanese eyeglass frame maker and Armoury regular "Nacky Made" out of his deal with the local guys hosting him for his trunk show. they haven't even opened a store and they're already creating enemies.
Click to expand...
Why are they trying to dump them?
 
i used to poop once a day then about a year ago this became two and sometimes three. i have shat five times today like everytime i pee. like im a rabbit or something.
 
I had two separate but otherwise noteworthy events happen to me last night, after drugs were had:

-The first, where I was standing in my bathroom getting ready to shower, I realized I had to pee while I was reading an article on my smartphone. So, I decided to just pee in the shower. Save on water and all that. So I do my thang, then I'm leaning up against the shower wall continuing to read and lose track of time. Then I notice that there's water on my foot and wonder where the fuck that came from. "Did I shower already and forget?" I look down at the trail of water leading in to the drain and, for a good minute, am thinking about how this water came into being.

-The second, was less delightful, happened after I had a lovely fap. Literally the second after I was done expelling my juices I turned my desk chair and smack the ever loving shit out of my knee right into a side on my desk. That was a game changer.
 
Two odd sights were seen on the way in to work today. First, a man was brushing pollen off of his car with what appeared to be a snow brush. Then I saw a lawn worker wearing skinny jeans, which just looked totally wrong.
 
I find pornos with the same male actor in every scene to be boring. I suppose I like a little variety of cock in my viewing habits.
 
Rambo said:
I find pornos with the same male actor in every scene to be boring. I suppose I like a little variety of cock in my viewing habits.
Click to expand...
Since the male is the audience stand-in, this means that you have a desire to be more than one person, or have more than one penis. Thank you for referring to them as actors and not stars.
 
For the third day in a row, i heard blondies "The Tide is High" on the radio. The song should not be in that heavy of rotation. Surely there is some significance to this.
 
Allen Smithee said:
For the third day in a row, i heard blondies "The Tide is High" on the radio. The song should not be in that heavy of rotation. Surely there is some significance to this.
Click to expand...

Program directors all believe in global warming, er, climate change?
 
I spent 90 minutes at the gym helping a fat guy and a skinny teenager who'd never been to the gym before. I suppose it was my good deed for the day. Couldn't workout though.
 
Rambo said:
I spent 90 minutes at the gym helping a fat guy and a skinny teenager who'd never been to the gym before. I suppose it was my good deed for the day. Couldn't workout though.
Click to expand...

Damn, Jimmy picks up a hitchhiker and you help out two dweebs. There is goodness in everyone. Of course it is Friday the 13th & a full moon
 
So I'm listening to a NYC radio station, and they keep playing ads for O'Reilly Auto Parts. I've never seen this store, so I go to their website and the nearest store they have to NYC is in Boston. Why the hell are they paying to pepper this area with ads?
 
Hmm, if I actually listened to the commercial, I'd be able to confirm or deny this. It's just the annoying jingle that I hear.
Anyway, almost every state that is non-adjacent to New York metro area has a real store...
 
I saw a woman that had called a tow truck into the parking lot to change a flat tire on her little old compact car. I was so embarrassed for her. Learn to use a jack and a lug wrench, or at least how to get unpaid men to do it for you.
 
Last edited:
So this was yesterday -I hope I get a pass on timing, but I caught myself following this hot woman around a supermarket and then stopped when I saw a bag ok Kotex in her cart.
 
acidboy said:
long story and I'm not inclined to get into details, but today I, uhm, "asked" a cargo truck driver to tell his helper/companion to come out from the hole he's hiding in and we settle this violently. or he's a <derogatory term for a homosexual> and if the driver doesn't tell his friend then he's a fucking <derogatory term for a homosexual> too.
Click to expand...
How did this gentleman end up in a hole and why was he hiding?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Back
Top Bottom