Dating Life & Hookup Stories

Monkeyface

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What was the rest of the text conversation?????
Random generic stuff. Food, movies, trips, me wishing her good luck with important career events and then me inviting her to dinner to celebrate and catch up (she’s really into food), which resulted in a week long silence and then this.

Oh well, it won’t be long before I have enough texts to publish that book. Or maybe a website or insta account with ads.
 
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Rambo

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Random generic stuff. Food, movies, trips, me wishing her good luck with important career events and then me inviting her to dinner to celebrate and catch up (she’s really into food), which resulted in a week long silence and then this.

Oh well, it won’t be long before I have enough texts to publish that book. Or maybe a website or insta account with ads.
i think we need to have an honest conversation about sex. something is going on there.
 

spencer096

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Rambo Rambo dude, i have almost the exact same experience as Monkeyface Monkeyface 2,500 miles apart. my ex finished her phd and moved to cali back at the end of may, and from july to mid sept, i was averaging 4 dates per week. of those, half of them led to sex on the first date...met this one girl at an apartment by her bar, had one drink, she wanted to "introduce me to her dog" and within an hour we were in her bed. it's pretty much that quick 75% of the time.

and why does nothing last? because you have zero emotional bond with these girls beyond a fun few week fling. and...just like you're juggling three girls per week, they're doing the same thing. only...especially here in a much less competitive environment like cleveland (compared to LA)...75% of the guys these girls use for free drinks are such bumbling idiots that if you have even a scintilla of charm, you're pretty much going to get laid.

like, if you meet someone through friends or work or keep running into someone at a bar or gym, there's at least some common ground there. you're not just going to disappear on someone you might run into working out or in the office. but someone you met on a swipy app? who gives a shit?

it has nothing to do with quality of the bond or interaction or any of that shit...it's just that it's a disposable relationship for no other reason than it's easy to move on from.

met a girl who we just fuckin' clicked from the get go off one of these apps. we did our thing for a week, then one night she had a vertigo spell early in the nigh that led to us having a pretty intense talk and some of the best sex ive ever had. and at 4am we made a lasagna from scratch (we were going to make it together before the vertigo thing, and i love to cook) and ate it as the sun rose. it was fucking great and we bonded over something pretty heavy that we shared in common.

three days later, she came over to drop off my pan and i broke up with her there on the spot. why? because i had a single twinge of doubt, figured itd be easier than developing attachment, and knew someone new was just a swipe away. it's easy and it turns people into benign sociopaths.

but it's fun as shit, not gonna lie.
 

Monkeyface

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Rambo Rambo dude, i have almost the exact same experience as Monkeyface Monkeyface 2,500 miles apart. my ex finished her phd and moved to cali back at the end of may, and from july to mid sept, i was averaging 4 dates per week. of those, half of them led to sex on the first date...met this one girl at an apartment by her bar, had one drink, she wanted to "introduce me to her dog" and within an hour we were in her bed. it's pretty much that quick 75% of the time.

and why does nothing last? because you have zero emotional bond with these girls beyond a fun few week fling. and...just like you're juggling three girls per week, they're doing the same thing. only...especially here in a much less competitive environment like cleveland (compared to LA)...75% of the guys these girls use for free drinks are such bumbling idiots that if you have even a scintilla of charm, you're pretty much going to get laid.

like, if you meet someone through friends or work or keep running into someone at a bar or gym, there's at least some common ground there. you're not just going to disappear on someone you might run into working out or in the office. but someone you met on a swipy app? who gives a shit?

it has nothing to do with quality of the bond or interaction or any of that shit...it's just that it's a disposable relationship for no other reason than it's easy to move on from.

met a girl who we just fuckin' clicked from the get go off one of these apps. we did our thing for a week, then one night she had a vertigo spell early in the nigh that led to us having a pretty intense talk and some of the best sex ive ever had. and at 4am we made a lasagna from scratch (we were going to make it together before the vertigo thing, and i love to cook) and ate it as the sun rose. it was fucking great and we bonded over something pretty heavy that we shared in common.

three days later, she came over to drop off my pan and i broke up with her there on the spot. why? because i had a single twinge of doubt, figured itd be easier than developing attachment, and knew someone new was just a swipe away. it's easy and it turns people into benign sociopaths.

but it's fun as shit, not gonna lie.
I’m in the office 70-80 hours a week, so I don’t really meet people naturally. Only through apps or bars at night.

It’s another reason why I need to date people with demanding jobs, at least they’ll be busy with their jobs too instead of some waitress that wants to go out on a Tuesday night while I have to get up at 5:30am the next day.
 
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Monkeyface

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Something that’s new to me: flirting via Instagram. A random girl will like a picture or two of you, but not the first ones, so you know it’s deliberate. Then you like a picture or two back. Then she likes one more. Then you follow her, and then she follows you. And then you send her a message. Then you go for a date, have sex, and after a week or two she unfollows you again. It’s all very convoluted, but also so simple. One of the girls I briefly dated showed me how Americans do this stuff and to my surprise it actually works. She had messages from hundreds of thirsty guys on instagram. The method reeks of desperation/lack of confidence to me, but whatever, when in Rome.
 

Rambo

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Rambo Rambo dude, i have almost the exact same experience as Monkeyface Monkeyface 2,500 miles apart. my ex finished her phd and moved to cali back at the end of may, and from july to mid sept, i was averaging 4 dates per week. of those, half of them led to sex on the first date...met this one girl at an apartment by her bar, had one drink, she wanted to "introduce me to her dog" and within an hour we were in her bed. it's pretty much that quick 75% of the time.

and why does nothing last? because you have zero emotional bond with these girls beyond a fun few week fling. and...just like you're juggling three girls per week, they're doing the same thing. only...especially here in a much less competitive environment like cleveland (compared to LA)...75% of the guys these girls use for free drinks are such bumbling idiots that if you have even a scintilla of charm, you're pretty much going to get laid.

like, if you meet someone through friends or work or keep running into someone at a bar or gym, there's at least some common ground there. you're not just going to disappear on someone you might run into working out or in the office. but someone you met on a swipy app? who gives a shit?

it has nothing to do with quality of the bond or interaction or any of that shit...it's just that it's a disposable relationship for no other reason than it's easy to move on from.

met a girl who we just fuckin' clicked from the get go off one of these apps. we did our thing for a week, then one night she had a vertigo spell early in the nigh that led to us having a pretty intense talk and some of the best sex ive ever had. and at 4am we made a lasagna from scratch (we were going to make it together before the vertigo thing, and i love to cook) and ate it as the sun rose. it was fucking great and we bonded over something pretty heavy that we shared in common.

three days later, she came over to drop off my pan and i broke up with her there on the spot. why? because i had a single twinge of doubt, figured itd be easier than developing attachment, and knew someone new was just a swipe away. it's easy and it turns people into benign sociopaths.

but it's fun as shit, not gonna lie.
This wasn’t my point at all. It’s great that he’s getting pussy and having one night stands. My point was if he was the sexual dynamo he claims, BOTH IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM, he wouldn’t be running into this problem where the girls aren’t texting him back for a week and then dumping him like a bad habit. The last girl’s texts confirmed to me that there’s an issue here. Because if there wasn’t, they’d be beating his doors down.
 

Rambo

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Something that’s new to me: flirting via Instagram. A random girl will like a picture or two of you, but not the first ones, so you know it’s deliberate. Then you like a picture or two back. Then she likes one more. Then you follow her, and then she follows you. And then you send her a message. Then you go for a date, have sex, and after a week or two she unfollows you again. It’s all very convoluted, but also so simple. One of the girls I briefly dated showed me how Americans do this stuff and to my surprise it actually works. She had messages from hundreds of thirsty guys on instagram. The method reeks of desperation/lack of confidence to me, but whatever, when in Rome.
Jesus that’s depressing
 

Monkeyface

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Jesus that’s depressing
Having a good Instagram is like putting out a trap. You don’t actively have to watch it, you just check in once in a while to see who has bitten. This girl was extremely sensitive about her Instagram too. She would take 50-100 pictures before posting the right one. It’s all extremely curated. Very professional. She was 22 and not even that pretty, but she had rich, not at all bad looking 35-45yo guys with massive houses in the hills messaging her on it. Maybe that’s my competition, desperate old rich guys.
 

Monkeyface

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This wasn’t my point at all. It’s great that he’s getting pussy and having one night stands. My point was if he was the sexual dynamo he claims, BOTH IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM, he wouldn’t be running into this problem where the girls aren’t texting him back for a week and then dumping him like a bad habit. The last girl’s texts confirmed to me that there’s an issue here. Because if there wasn’t, they’d be beating his doors down.
What do you mean out of the bedroom?
I always take them back to my place, because it’s a beautiful apartment on the water with a massive, well decorated bedroom, a well stocked bar, a good playlist and it’s close to the bars and restaurants.
 

Rambo

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What do you mean out of the bedroom?
the sexual energy/vibe/feeling you give off is a big part of what brings them back for more.

I always take them back to my place, because it’s a beautiful apartment on the water with a massive, well decorated bedroom, a well stocked bar, a good playlist and it’s close to the bars and restaurants.
maybe this is another problem. maybe they see all this and think you're nothing more than a playboy?

the point that i'm making here isn't that you're a bad lay. its that you have to consider all the factors in what makes you worthy of fucking over and over again. for example, lets say you had a dumb girl who gave great blowjobs. she could suck the stick out of a corn dog, but talking to her was an exercise in futility, and to get your cock sucked you'd have to sit through hours of awful conversation. sure, the first few times you'd do it, just for the experience. how long after that would you feel like it wasn't worth the effort?

maybe you're giving off the vibe that you're the male version of that?
 

LelandJ

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What happened to your yoga Mface? Recommend a Baptiste studio if there's one there for intelligent practitioners. That's the place to meet women in L.A., just watch out for vegans, their brains are deprived essential nutrients.
 

Monkeyface

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What happened to your yoga Mface? Recommend a Baptiste studio if there's one there for intelligent practitioners. That's the place to meet women in L.A., just watch out for vegans, their brains are deprived essential nutrients.
No time yet. But I will check on the weekends.
 

Monkeyface

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the sexual energy/vibe/feeling you give off is a big part of what brings them back for more.


maybe this is another problem. maybe they see all this and think you're nothing more than a playboy?

the point that i'm making here isn't that you're a bad lay. its that you have to consider all the factors in what makes you worthy of fucking over and over again. for example, lets say you had a dumb girl who gave great blowjobs. she could suck the stick out of a corn dog, but talking to her was an exercise in futility, and to get your cock sucked you'd have to sit through hours of awful conversation. sure, the first few times you'd do it, just for the experience. how long after that would you feel like it wasn't worth the effort?

maybe you're giving off the vibe that you're the male version of that?
I always escalate a bit on a date, but after all this Hollywood shit I’ve pulled back a little on the touching. I suppose I should be a bit more forward.

I think I give off a good vibe. On the last date we had a like a solid 10 sec gaze, no words being said, neither one of us looked away. I probably should’ve gone in for the kiss, but it’s hard to lean in all the way across from the table.

I don’t think I’m a bore to talk to. I have a good story to tell and my life is a little different from all of those boring born and raised in LA people. People really open up to me as well. I mean, the last girl was telling me how she would take me to her parents place in the countryside and showed me beautiful pictures of it, and how she was going to show me her favorite restaurant and such. And she told me about her family and all that. On the first date! Those things are usually reserved for after 5+ dates. But then she doesn’t reply to a text when I suggest a date/time for the restaurant. It’s like going from super intimate to nothing in a few days.
 
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Rambo

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I always escalate a bit on a date, but after all this Hollywood shit I’ve pulled back a little on the touching. I suppose I should be a bit more forward.
Non-sexual touching is a good way to create attraction and something you do want to do.

But That wasn’t a real answer to my post.
 

Monkeyface

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Non-sexual touching is a good way to create attraction and something you do want to do.

But That wasn’t a real answer to my post.
The playboy thing? Yeah, I could see that. My image certainly helps me on the first date, probably less on the second and such. Maybe I should wait with sex for a bit. Create a stronger bond and more trust first.
 

LelandJ

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Non-sexual touching is a good way to create attraction and something you do want to do.

But That wasn’t a real answer to my post.
There's this super short but super cute and skilled volleyball player who shoved me with force for being out of position on the court couple weekends ago. Got my attention but her 6' 4" 220 lb middle blocker boyfriend was also playing on my team so couldn't reciprocate.
 

Rambo

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The playboy thing? Yeah, I could see that. My image certainly helps me on the first date, probably less on the second and such. Maybe I should wait with sex for a bit. Create a stronger bond and more trust first.
everything you've written so far reads hit it and quit it. you've got to create an environment and an atmosphere that says you want them around.
There's this super short but super cute and skilled volleyball player who shoved me with force for being out of position on the court couple weekends ago. Got my attention but her 6' 4" 220 lb middle blocker boyfriend was also playing on my team so couldn't reciprocate.
you're reading into it too much. if she shoves you against a locker and grabs your cock, check back with details.
If you can't do yoga 3 or 4 times a week, they won't take you seriously.
he's not doing yoga that much and if he shows up and they think he's attractive, they'll pay attention. women WANT to share their passions with men, badly. mostly because they don't generally do anything we're interested in.
 

LelandJ

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you're reading into it too much. if she shoves you against a locker and grabs your cock, check back with details.
Shoving a teammate after a rally is never considered normal. I've caught her multiple times checking me out off the court, half the time her bf notices. Once overheard her tell him, my former MB btw in a D2 league, why he doesn't cut his hair like mine smh. I found her instagram page but don't do social media.

he's not doing yoga that much and if he shows up and they think he's attractive, they'll pay attention. women WANT to share their passions with men, badly. mostly because they don't generally do anything we're interested in.
Yoga definitely has a high ratio women to straight men which really helps.
 

Rambo

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Shoving a teammate after a rally is never considered normal. I've caught her multiple times checking me out off the court, half the time her bf notices. Once overheard her tell him, my former MB btw in a D2 league, why he doesn't cut his hair like mine smh. I found her instagram page but don't do social media.
alright, so if you think its a signal, go make a move? act on the hunch and stop being a pussy about it.

Yoga definitely has a high ratio women to straight men which really helps.
very true
 

spencer096

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My point was if he was the sexual dynamo he claims, BOTH IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM, he wouldn’t be running into this problem where the girls aren’t texting him back for a week and then dumping him like a bad habit. The last girl’s texts confirmed to me that there’s an issue here. Because if there wasn’t, they’d be beating his doors down.
i still think there's an element of disposability here that plays into it. if he was awewsome, maybe they're jumping ahead of the pain and breaking it off early thinking he'll leave them for someone else.
 

Monkeyface

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i still think there's an element of disposability here that plays into it. if he was awewsome, maybe they're jumping ahead of the pain and breaking it off early thinking he'll leave them for someone else.
This may be an element for some, but with others I’ve made it clear that I like them. Same results.
 

Rambo

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i still think there's an element of disposability here that plays into it. if he was awewsome, maybe they're jumping ahead of the pain and breaking it off early thinking he'll leave them for someone else.
that could be. something to think about.
This may be an element for some, but with others I’ve made it clear that I like them. Same results.
and why do you think that is?
 

Monkeyface

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that could be. something to think about.

and why do you think that is?
It makes sense that if you’re talking to a few people you’ll have favorites, and that’ll probably show. Also, one girl mentioned that she doesn’t want to date someone that just moved here, because she’ll probably be replaced once you’re settled in and have your own social circle etc. Another girl mentioned something similar now that I think of it, albeit less bluntly.
 

Rambo

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It makes sense that if you’re talking to a few people you’ll have favorites, and that’ll probably show. Also, one girl mentioned that she doesn’t want to date someone that just moved here, because she’ll probably be replaced once you’re settled in and have your own social circle etc. Another girl mentioned something similar now that I think of it, albeit less bluntly.
Unless you’re telling these women that you’re moving, or changing careers, these are completely bullshit excuses.
 
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