The Official #2 Tips and Tricks

Pauly Chase said:
Organic TP? Trying to maintain a delicate ass?
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My ass is delicate.

panda-butt.jpg
 
Had some manga/jalapeno salsa for lunch today. Will be paying for that shit tomorrow. Not looking forward to it.
 
Pauly Chase said:
Had some manga/jalapeno salsa for lunch today. Will be paying for that shit tomorrow. Not looking forward to it.
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Mango?
If only there were some way to coat or line the sphincter to shield it from the remaining capsaicin. Everywhere between the tongue and the anus is rather impervious to it all.
 
Yeah mango. Could rub some Vaseline on it to ease the transition from lumen to the toilet. Too lazy. Just have to endure.
 
Pauly Chase said:
Could rub some Vaseline on it to ease the transition from lumen to the toilet. Too lazy. Just have to endure.
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Good luck remembering when the urgency strikes anyway. You won't remember till you feel the burn.
In other news, I had corn last night. Does one get any nutrition from these kernels? They seem to pass through unprocessed.
 
Mainly cellulose. Indigestible fiber. Also can cause pellagra. Was thinking beriberi, but realized that was related to rice consumption.
 
Average two, sometimes three depending on diet, ever since going gluten-free couple years ago.
 
There's a mushroom popular for Sichuan hot pot, here in China, called 明天间 mingtian jian, or 'see you tomorrow'. By god do they soak up the chili oil floating on the boiling stock! Chili is nearly always combined with 'majiao' (sichuan pepper) which creates a peculiar numbing sensation, which means of course, you can eat well beyond the human body's normal tolerance for capsaicin. However, majiao doesn't numb your asshole, for some reason. So in effect you have these chili-laden vegetable tampons working their way through your colon in 8 hours appearing with a final flourish as they exit your bowel. Sure beats a juice detox for loosening old shit.
 
Ha, this reminds me of a time when I had a cold and my sinuses were all stuffed up. My wonderful pals took the opportunity to throw all manner of insane hot sauces into the chili or whatever I was eating. Everybody's eyes kind of watered if they sniffed it, but I was able to ingest with ease. As the reader may deduce (ha! de deuce!) the anal gland knows no sinuses. This may have been the debut of firehole in my life.
 
I laid a steaming coiler the other day, happens when you live off MREs for a bit.
 
This thread is developing the type of excretory information I had anticipated. This is positive. Grand Potentate Grand Potentate , if this thread can take a solid shit, then it will survive excesses of spicy food, instiches, gay mafia, and Russian infiltration.
 
Russell Street said:
Ha, this reminds me of a time when I had a cold and my sinuses were all stuffed up. My wonderful pals took the opportunity to throw all manner of insane hot sauces into the chili or whatever I was eating. Everybody's eyes kind of watered if they sniffed it, but I was able to ingest with ease. As the reader may deduce (ha! de deuce!) the anal gland knows no sinuses. This may have been the debut of firehole in my life.
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As you age, I can attest you inner ass will become rather unwelcoming to these fireballs of spice. It will burn and itch, and dare-you-not scratch it in there as it will soil you Calvin's and leave your hand covered in eau-de-shit.
 
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