The Parenting Thread

[Dropbear]

In which those of us blessed or cursed with minimes, biological or force matched, strategize on ways not to suck too badly, maintain an adult life, camouflage baby puke stains on clothing and minimize the trauma we inflict upon minors every day.

 

[Journeyman]

In which those of us blessed or cursed with minimes, biological or force matched, strategize on ways not to suck too badly, maintain an adult life, camouflage baby puke stains on clothing and minimize the trauma we inflict upon minors every day.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"

Seriously, though, parenthood is wonderful. It can, of course, be stressful and frustrating at times but it's also been the most rewarding and enriching experience of my life, bar none.

However, it certainly does involve drastic changes to lifestyle because, as a parent, your life is no longer fully your own - it now also belongs to your children.

 

[Dropbear]

It's taken my wife and I over five years to really work on carving out some grown-up time and to value couple time separate to family time.

 

[Dropbear]

Right now, I'm dealing with a two year old with separation anxiety. It's gut wrenching dropping her off at day care when she's crying but kinda cool picking her up when she's so happy to see me and so demonstrably affectionate.

Meanwhile my boy just started public school kindy and is really absent minded.

Yes, I am the primary parent in our household.

 

[Russell Street]

I have no chillins, but I was given the advice to always ask a child if their room is clean.

 

[OfficePants]

I have no chillins, but I was given the advice to always ask a child if their room is clean.

And their ears

 

[Dropbear]

Just got back from yet another kid's birthday party. We average 20-25 a year. This one was at a martial arts centre - the kids had fun learning TV style karate moves and breaking boards. The parents spent two agonizing hours sitting on hard benches.

FFS why doesn't anyone try to cater a little to the parents!

I went to one otherwise unmemorable party at a bowling alley - hello! Jugs of beer and wine started to circulate freely in the parents lounge while some 80s music came on and the lights went down.

I'm not asking for hookers and blow, but how about at least thinking about the poor buggers who have to drive the kids to the party and sit-through till the end.

 

[colco]

I have a 6 year old girl who began kindergarten in a private school this past week. No plans to have other children, may adopt in 5 plus years however.

 

[Dropbear]

For me, it's Boy (5.5 years) and girl (2.5).

After the second birth, I got the snip from a good ole boy Doc here.

 

[fxh]

What ever happened to having a kids party at home with a few lollies and red cordial?

 

[Dropbear]

Only if you rent bouncy castles and lots of crap to make it 'special'.

Our boy has had his last three at Pump It Up, an inflatable indoor playground. The kids get 90 minutes of play, th n pizzas in a private dining room. Parents just write one cheque to the venue and bring their own cake. Very easy and also outrageously expensive.

 

[OfficePants]

After the second birth, I got the snip from a good ole boy Doc here.

Not done nearly often enough

 

[fxh]

I don't like it.
It's like a lot of stuff these days. No thought no individuality, no creativity, mass marketed expensive bland out conformity and no heart. Sad.
When I get to a proper keyboard I'll tell some parenting stories

 

[fxh]

We used to have half the neighbourhood, non parents as well
, and lots booze, and some dope for some. Stressed out mum's need to unwind.

 

[fxh]

I don't like it.
It's like a lot of stuff these days. No thought no individuality, no creativity, mass marketed expensive bland out conformity and no heart. Sad.
When I get to a proper keyboard I'll tell some parenting stories

Sorry. That sounds a bit mean. Didn't mean it like that. Posting on phone doesn't encourage length or nuance.

 

[colco]

My ordinarily cheerful 6y/old daughter had a rare meltdown temper tantrum last night. It is astonishing how angry they get.

 

[doghouse]

I look forward to being in this thread in about three months.

 

[colco]

Mazels. But you won't have time for about 2 years if your wife is due in three months.

 

[Dropbear]

Congratulations Doghouse! People will tell you all sorts of horror stories and say how your life will never be the same. Partly true, but it's not that hard and it's actually a lot of fun. Worst part: don't expect Mrs Doghouse to be in the mood for a few years. Prepare for celebacy now!

Mazels. But you won't have time for about 2 years if your wife is due in three months.

I have to disagree on this one. When each of my kids was less than one, I had no time for normal activities, but I found quite a lot of time to surf the web with one hand while rocking a sleeping baby, holding a bottle or whatever. Mostly dreaming of stuff I wanted to do, buy or experience once I got my life back!

 

[fxh]

My ordinarily cheerful 6y/old daughter had a rare meltdown temper tantrum last night. It is astonishing how angry they get.

When my eldest was about 4 or 5 she wouldn't get in the bath.
(a bit of context - we were/are parents who didn't helicopter over kids. Except for a few strict rules - be polite and talk to visitors, swearing isn't for school, etc. - we let them run their own lives. As in keep you bedroom how you like but shut the door. If its untidy - that's your problem - not ours. Here's how the washing machine works - wash your clothes, sheets, at least once a week. etc)

Same with bath - its bath time then bed.
Trouble is she'd go into bathroom - lock door and just muck around for an hour - and not get in bath. So an hour later we'd go in and she'd be fully dressed playing with a boat in the bath or something. So we said - "OK - next time this happens we'll just plonk you in bath" . Next time. She did the same. We went in after 10 minutes. Picked her up fully clothed. Dropped her in full bath. Loud crying for about half an hour. No more bath problems. Ever.

 

[fxh]

I look forward to being in this thread in about three months.

I doubt it. No time to post.

 

[doghouse]

I doubt it. No time to post.

Didn't say anything about posting. But I will certainly be monitoring.

 

[Dropbear]

Parenting a modern teenager is mostly all about sitting in your car staring at your phone, waiting for the kid to be done with his social fun with his friends and ignoring your texts to hurry tf up

 

[Fwiffo]

When do parents have time to do fun things again. One of my good mates has been hiding behind his toddler for a few years now.

 

[güero]

It might be he prefers his toddler to drinking?

 

[Dropbear]

Or he prefers his toddler to fwiffs?

 

[Fwiffo]

Or he prefers his toddler to fwiffs?

Well the toddler has been in his life shorter than me so that would be difficult to accept.

And I stopped drinking. For 18 months or more now. Smoking and recreational drugs for almost 2 years. I could be in the running for head ISIS I am so clean. But you know, no one respects it. Very sad. Even though I try harder than anyone else.

 

[Fwiffo]

When you book a party room for your kid's birthday and send out RSVP to 20 people a month in advance during the school year. Only 3 reply yes, some said no. Okay it's summer so people are on holiday. But the vast majority abstain from answering like UN delegates on Russia and Israel so you have no idea whether they are for or against.

But then at the actual party, 2 people's kids show up having not RSVPed (so 5 in total). And one kid's mother sends a message the day after the party saying they only found the invitation at the bottom of their kid's backpack today.

 

[Fwiffo]

One of my old work mates asked me advice on how to guide her daughter in applying to universities and seeking a vocation in life.

This presumably is based on my vast experience with the many children I have....or rather, don't have.

 

[Fwiffo]

I just wrote 30 pages on how to save money, leverage tax advantaged accounts and plan for retirement for my "daughter".

I thought basic financial literacy was part of at least one home economics course back in school no?

 

[Fwiffo]

Age at four, kids ought to know how to wipe no?

 

[Fwiffo]

My brother's four year old told everyone at the dinner table last night that I was going to die. Ironically this was when we were talking about my father's estate.

 

[Fwiffo]

Can we be more effective and efficient if we run our families like a business?

“'Can I go to summer camp?' may actually be 'What is our approach to summer vacation for our kids?'....I love using a framework we use in our business: Is this a one-way door (a.k.a. it would be hard to reverse it) or is this a two-way door (easy to walk back)? Summer camp is a two-way door – if they don’t like it, they don’t have to go back next year.

I had already implemented several of her recommendations, including shared calendars, Google docs for things such as babysitting instructions and shared to-do lists. But she had some ingenious suggestions, including colour-coded calendars for each family member, setting recurring calendar reminders for key dates such as summer camp booking deadlines and a Google doc with a family packing list."

"Ultimately, this approach to running your family like a business doesn’t mean you’re sitting down for family board meetings or reviewing your budget over dinner."

There won't be a dinner until we do a zero-based bottom up budgeting exercise of our food expenditures. But this won't be settled tonight: I move to adjourn the meeting until tomorrow at 7:30 AM for breakfast.

 

[Fwiffo]

"A lifeguard parent sits on the sidelines of a child’s playtime, their conversations with friends, their homework, household chores, and other interactions with the world. A lifeguard parent keeps an eye on what’s going on, ready to dive in if needed, but otherwise stays out of the way. They know what a healthy baseline looks like and recognize immediately when things start to go off the rails. Most of the time nothing serious happens, so the parent does not insert themselves needlessly in their kid’s activities."

...as opposed to a helicopter parent.

"For example, instead of hollering, 'Stay off that branch!' the parent might say, 'Do you think that branch can support you?'"

Must admit a 3 or 4 year old probably won't be able to use reason and logic to figure that out.

 

[Fwiffo]

High school boy asks girl classmate out. Girl shows up at his house. They have tickets to a concert for the local symphony but no easy way to get there. Boy's mother buys tickets for boy's parents and drives everyone there. Some time after the concert ends the mother deems the girl unsuitable for her boy. She says her boy is destined for great things and says to the girl she isn't up to snuff. For example she has the wrong colour highlights. Boy stands there and says nothing. Mother drives everyone except the girl home leaving a minor by herself at the concert hall.

Boy is now studying medicine at Harvard.

From the tales of other parents.

 

[Fwiffo]

When my brother's kid asks, "What are those numbers? Why do they make a sound?" when we resort to ringing his grandmother with a telephone number rather than a messaging app.

 

[Fwiffo]

Asking a 4 year old what 2 x 5 is. There was a pause and then some facial gestures. Like asking an LLM AI chat and it spins for 45 seconds. Just when you are about to give up he gave an answer.