Why Are You Pissed Off Today?

Yeah man, you dropped that in here, we need more details on this. What were these text messages?
 
Here is a brief rundown:

We know each other's phone passwords. Yesterday when the SO went to the restroom, I decided to check my ebay account on her phone since mine was dead. After I unlocked her phone, I saw two texts that read: "I love you too" and "Thanks for falling asleep with me" that weren't directed towards me. There was no name attached to the number and I immediately turned off the screen. When she came back from the restroom, I asked her who the person was and why. She explained to me that it was a childhood guy friend of hers who is having "baby mama drama" and she was talking/texting him out of the situation on the phone. She told me that she says "I love you" to all of her close friends and it was not a big deal.

I know my SO well and I trust her. I was annoyed because I started having flashbacks of my previous hellacious relationships in which my exes began text and chat with other guys and eventually cheated on me. I am over it now and my SO apologized. Apparently it's a new generation (my SO is only 21) thing to say phrases like "I love you" to the opposite sex even if people are just friends. Maybe I am old-fashioned, but I believe that phrases like that shouldn't be used lightly and should only be reserved for those that you truly love.

Thanks for the concerns, I much appreciated. I was just annoyed.
 
I'm not sure I get I love you, but I get a lot of "I brushed my teeth and I'm going to bed." Or goodnight phone calls when they're travelling on the road. Those are all married women and I'm single. And they're not the "new generation" age. Is it really my fault the first person they think of when they have a problem is not their spouse?

Two weeks ago I decided to wage an all out war on my archnemesis at work. I think I'm winning some of the battles now. I still have one issue that I need to sort out but she's resorting to petty things to get at me but at least I'm winning the overall war. I don't care if it takes the rest of my career here to bury her but I will - I will out work her, out smart her and out last her 27 or whatever year tenure when she started out stacking office files with a high school diploma.
 
A Canuker said:

Glad you are over it. While I am not in a spot where I or the wife would be saying such things to other people I'd be pissed also. Not to be a lame ass but see if you can get this guy to move elsewhere for his emotional healing.
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+1

I have one friend that I say "I Love you" to, her name is Natalie, she is happily married and she and her family are more an extention of our family than just friends. The only males I say it to other than A Canuker are under the age of 5 or over 90 and are family members. The OP should be wary because while his SO may have nothing but innocent intent I'd be willing to bet money that this guy friend has something more in mind.
 
Lady Canuker said:
The OP should be wary because while his SO may have nothing but innocent intent I'd be willing to bet money that this guy friend has something more in mind.
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Was just about to post the same thing.

Its a classic tactic to evoke sympathy from a woman to get into her pants. I wouldn't be as quick to give the SO a pass as you. I'm sure in the back of her mind she sensed what the game was. Some women need the titillation, others know what is going on and ignore it to be nice, but being completely oblivious is unlikely. Worst case something is already going on.

I'd consider this stuff a red flag.
 
Lady Canuker said:
+1
The OP should be wary because while his SO may have nothing but innocent intent I'd be willing to bet money that this guy friend has something more in mind.
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I explained this to her, that most of the guys think this way. I told her that I do not want to control her, but According to her, she has known this guy since her childhood and she views him as a pure friend. Besides the occasional texts and phone conversations, they are not in much contact anymore. She knows it bothers me still and she promised me that she will stop saying things like this to her friends. She hasn't changed her phone password, so I still have free access if I wanted to. Let's see how this goes.

I am not the controlling type, but in a situation like this, it's hard not to cross that boundary. The curse of dating someone 7 years my junior.
 
Why change the password when you can simply delete any texts...not saying she will but this is something to keep in mind.
 
I understand. I have had relationships in the past where trust was an issue from the beginning. Like Incandescent have said, it's not that difficulty to detect the un-subtleness in the other person. I think it's the fact she was not defensive/confrontation about the messages and simply explained them to me that put me to somewhat of an easy. I know her well enough to know that she is not a deceptive person (can be wrong but hopefully not).

Dammit now it's bugging me again.
 
L'Incandescent said:
I'm fairly sure I've never dated, or even known, a woman who doesn't engage in this sort of thing. It is impossible to believe that they really have no idea what game they are playing, and yet they will insist that they don't. And then when it happens that the game gets played out to its natural conclusion, the woman will view it as some spontaneous, completely unpredictable event that happened out of the blue.
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I can disagree here on bolded, I have. Its about boundaries and the younger the person is the worse the boundaries. I've completely stopped dating women much younger than me. It gets very boring after a while and you're regularly challenged with generational differences like this.

The rest is very true. Too large a % of people need to feel attractive thru this form of titillation. I believe Pauly has this in his hands.



Lady Canuker said:
Why change the password when you can simply delete any texts...not saying she will but this is something to keep in mind.
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Yep.


L'Incandescent said:
One more thing, while I am on a roll here: It's never happened that I suspected a girlfriend of cheating and have been wrong. This is not because I have such highly developed powers of perception. It is because people are really shockingly unsubtle about it.
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Usually cheating that is unsubtle is cry out for a breakup with someone that can't handle the emotion or is disturbed in some form or another. I have a pretty acute sense of perception about people and have avoided people that I suspect cheat. I have yet to have it happen to me, if it has I was unaware, but I truly believe its unlikely.
 
Pauly Chase said:
Dammit now it's bugging me again.
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Not to unsettle you bro, but I would allow it to bug you. Shit like this is supposed to bug you.

From this point the right move is not to harp on it with her but simply to raise the antennae a couple more feet and watch carefully. Keep quiet and observe.
 
OfficePants said:
I can disagree here on bolded, I have. Its about boundaries and the younger the person is the worse the boundaries. I've completely stopped dating women much younger than me. It gets very boring after a while and you're regularly challenged with generational differences like this.

The rest is very true. Too large a % of people need to feel attractive thru this form of titillation. I believe Pauly has this in his hands.
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We had multiple discussions about this before. She says that I am old fashioned and younger people nowadays consider what I view as boundaries as norms. Not to get into detailed personal lives here, but the way our relationship works out so far has been pretty shocking (in a good way) to me and pretty natural. I have been involved in some horrible relationships in the past so my guard is pretty sensitive about texts/emails/messages/etc.

She knows well this is annoying me and I dislike it very much. Let's see what happens.
 
I'm 25 and I don't use that kind of stuff… and if I get one like that I would guess that she wants something more. Sometimes I use the expression: "Es una amiga a la que quiero con ropa". (She's a friend I "love/like" with her clothes on) that clarifies things a lot, but I don't tell her I love her.

But I think that if you have the confidence on her and you feel that she's telling the true, I will stick with that.
 
Betelgeuse said:
I'm 25 and I don't use that kind of stuff… and if I get one like that I would guess that she wants something more. Sometimes I use the expression: "Es una amiga a la que quiero con ropa". (She's a friend I "love/like" with her clothes on) that clarifies things a lot, but I don't tell her I love her.

But I think that if you have the confidence on her and you feel that she's telling the true, I will stick with that.
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QFT

I am not that old, in my late 20's. But I have noticed that there is a huge generation gap between those that were born in the 80's and 90's. I mean huge.
 
I bought an SC via SF but the shipping method didn't gave a tracking number so I don't know where the package is... and the mexican postal service can't give that info via online... I have to go to the postal offices... which I hate cause there's a lot of traffic. :rage-73:
 
A Canuker said:
Was there a customs number given? That should be able to track it, or it does in Canada.
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Nope. I just used the chat service of the mexican postal service and they told me that there is no way to know where it is. So I have to wait until the messenger arrive to my home or go to the postal office to ask for info of the package.
 
OfficePants said:
^^ Much bigger than 80's to 70's.
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Yep. And there are not much improvements either.


That's the only way to track it nowadays unless you use express. Paying a little more for shipping is always worth it in the long wrong. When I buy items overseas, I always ask for options that include tracking number even if it costs extra. I think the most likely scenerio in your case is the package is stuck in Mexican customs and it has not been released yet. Sometimes that process takes a long time for no particular reason.
 
Betelgeuse said:
Nope. I just used the chat service of the mexican postal service and they told me that there is no way to know where it is. So I have to wait until the messenger arrive to my home or go to the postal office to ask for info of the package.
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Ask the seller for that info and you can track it on usps.com
 
^^ Lord almighty - I could never work in a place like that. By the way dude, are those grenades???
 
bdeuce22 said:
I will say I think USPS redid some shit recently. I had a couple packages track up to the Canadian border then that was it. The buyers got their items but its a bit unnerving when the package must stops tracking at customs.

But no matter what he used there is a customs number on the form he had to fill out.
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Yeap. For example with Spoo I always have a tracking number, and that tracking number is used for tracking it here in Mexico. But I really don't know why they didn't give him a tracking number. I've seen in some eBay vendors that the shipping method they select also doesn't have an international tracking number.
 
Only USPS Priority receives an international tracking number. USPS First Class International only receives a customs number, which can only be used to see whether a package has arrived at customs or not.
 
bdeuce22 said:
But no matter what he used there is a customs number on the form he had to fill out.
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Exactly. At least you will know if the package arrived at Mexico or not.

I would love to use Fedex or UPS for international shipping, but it's so goddamn expensive, so I just resort to USPS.
 
That would be helpful, to at least know if it have arrived to Mexico.
 
Archnemesis' minion at work crashes my former direct's meeting and starts inviting other people to it. It's not your meeting. You're not chairing it so why are you controlling attendance?! The item for discussion, a document, then needs to reviewed by a peer of my former direct who doesn't even work on the same project or to be honest ever for this client. And she has to make the changes and turn on version control in Word. The document, by the way, is signed off and the client is happy. Just makes me want to turn the screws on when I get to work tomorrow.
 
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