What's Making You Happy Today?

Just finished a great Italian meal paid for by the boss and the collo americano song comes over the PA. Good times.

 
I WAS AT THE GYM DOING 600LBS DEADLIFTS FOR REPS AND I GET A CALL FROM ONE OF MY WORLDMODEL OR SUPERMODEL BITCHEs BEGGING ME TO COME OUT WITH HER. sO I DECIDED TO GO SINCE I HADNT GOTTEN PUSSY IN A COUPLE HOURS AND I DONT FUCK ANYTHING THATS lESS THAN 100% PERFECT. i MEET UP AT A HOOKAH BAR WITH 2 OF HER FRIENDS AND I WAS TEACHING THEM HOW TO SMOKE IT CUZ IM EXPERIENCED AS FUCk WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A BELLY DANCER COMES OUT AND KEEPS STARING AT Me, SO EVERYONE SEES SHE IS STARING ME DOWN AND WANTS ME BUT IM HUMBLE AS fUCK SO I STAY IN MY SEAT. ALL OF A sUDDEN A SPOT LIGHT SHINES DOWN ON ME AND ONE ON HER BUT I STILL SAT DOWN WITH MY SUNGLASSES ON AND MY HOOD UP, SMOKIN oN A CIG WITH MY HEAD DOWN LOOKING GANGSTER AND HUMBLE AS FUCK AND EVERYONE STARTS CHEERING ME ON, SO I FINALLY GET UP AND SHE IMMEDIATLY PUTS HER CLOTH AROUND MY NECK AND GRINDS aLL OVER MY JOCK, SO THEN I sLOWLY TAKE OFF MY SHIRT WITH MY TATTOOS LOOKING SOO HOOD AND mY SKIN GLISTENING WITH MY PECS, BIS AND TRIS LOOKING SWOLLED AND SHREDDED AS FUCK. EVERYONE sEES THIS AND THE MUSIC STOPS SO I GET PISSED AND YELL "DJ, SPIN THAT SHIt!" AND THE MUSIC CONTINUES BLASTING AND EVERYONE STARTS SCREAMING AND CHANTING MY NAME "LOUIE, LOUIE, LOUIE!". tHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE STARTS PUTTIN MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS TO RUB HER PUSSY, SO I GET PISSED, PUNCH A DINNER TABLE BREAKING IT RIGHT IN HALF, LIGHT UP A CIG, GET IN MY HYABUSA MOTORCYCLE, BUST A DOUGHnUT, AND PEEL THE FUCK OUT lOOKING ALPHA AS FUcK.

THATS AS REAL AS IT GETS BRUH, AND THATS AS HUMBLE AS IT GETS. ~ALPHA
 
So i took out the delegation from the country that is currently visiting and well we were at this bar and see a couple of girls looking at me, but they were with some guys and they were clearly anoyed by the guys so right before i leave i go to them and qsk them if those are their bfs and they say "those fucking losers hell no" and they ask me if i can have a shot with them and i say yes talk to them for a bit and got to kiss one of them. Feels good
 
Leitmotif said:
So i took out the delegation from the country that is currently visiting and well we were at this bar and see a couple of girls looking at me, but they were with some guys and they were clearly anoyed by the guys so right before i leave i go to them and qsk them if those are their bfs and they say "those fucking losers hell no" and they ask me if i can have a shot with them and i say yes talk to them for a bit and got to kiss one of them. Feels good
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DID YOU GET NUMBERS! DID YOU FOLLOW THEM TO SEE WHERE THEY LIVE!
 
Thruth said:
YESSS! AND THESE WOMEN LIKED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS WEARING MAN CLOTHES. A GIACCA WITH TIE FROM THE STAINED TIE BOX!

Arnathor Arnathor 's TIE ALMOST GOT HIM SOME PUSSY!
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Veri Nice! Great Success Leitmotif Leitmotif ! THIS MAN IS VERI HUMBLE!!!11
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I didn't eat all day until the client dinner. After yesterday's night of excess, it seemed like the right choice.
 
I lost weight.

Celebrating with a tanqueray 10 gin martini with a twist in one of those 1960s martini glasses.
 
My parents are back from down under and traipsing around Asia afterwards. They seem to be in good spirits.
 
I had roast beef brisket with a side of pickle and some Greek salad that could have been interchangeable for Caesar salad. I skipped lunch yesterday and had a pittance for breakfast so I feel okay from a guilt standpoint.

Had a pleasant walk in the sun. Smashing autumn weather...
 
I went for lunch with a workmate today to see the Thanksgiving football games. Pint or two and three whiskys.
 
Someone forwarded this to me. Found myself laughing and agreeing with a lot of it
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I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet...

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes."

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week.

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it!

Even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice
 
My new mobile is so throwback but I absolutely love it. Smashing.
 
I just came back from my first concert of this season's symphony. I chose a cracker. Tchaikovsky Symphony No. 6. I admit that for lesser pieces especially modern composers I have about ten minutes of attention span before I start glancing at my watch. I never do for this four movement's forty five minutes.

I leaned forward, I cried, I smiled - this one piece, without any lyrics whatsoever, elicits so many emotions from the sorrow of the first movement to the birth and the triumph and finally death in the final one. How is it man is capable of such beauty but yet also equally capable of dastardly despicable things?

I remember this piece because my father used to come home after work and he would put this on. I know if it was just the first movement, he needed to cool off. He always closed the bedroom door but why I will never know as half the house could hear his stereo. If he made it past the second movement, he had a really bad day.

I often see audience members yawning, staring at their mobile or sleeping in concerts. If you sleep through this one, you're dead inside and you deserve to die. Tchaikovsky died to produced this. To me it's like a sports player having the perfect game. This is the best Romantic composition. Possibly best ever.
 
My PC finally upgraded to Windows 10. I tried in vain 2 or 3 times in the summer but thought I'd leave the computer to try it this weekend, and this time it worked perfectly.

Crikey, I have to stop using Internet Explorer and use this Edge thing.
 
I haven't "upgraded" I'm worried stuff wont work and worse that I wont own the software and at some stage MS will start charging me to use my computer. Also I haven't had any problems with my desktop for about 3 years.
 
My workplace is giving me some free Office 365 licences for tablets, mobiles and two PCs so I was hoping to upgrade it for that. That and I'm not buying a new one any time soon so I wanted the free upgrade before it expires.

Think about it this way, it's probably going to break in a year or two anyone. Something between the made in China hardware and made in India software. So whatever reservations you have about the subscription will be short lived.
 
Sent an expensive rare vintage cartridge for retipping in a small 4" box to England with regular airpost two months ago and tracking still shows MIA. Company just emailed me today not only receipt but finished refurbishment and mailed back today!
 
I used to work across from the Vagina Monologues off Broadway I kid you not, maybe you should take your lady friend there next time if it's still running OLO.
 
LelandJ said:
I used to work across from the Vagina Monologues off Broadway I kid you not, maybe you should take your lady friend there next time if it's still running OLO.
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He'd be better off talking directly to her vagina instead of listening to a monologue from someone else's.
 
LelandJ said:
I used to work across from the Vagina Monologues off Broadway I kid you not, maybe you should take your lady friend there next time if it's still running OLO.
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Not sure that's her type of thing. I can see Phantom running forever, but from what I know about that show the angry hormones would dissipate after awhile.

Anyway, one of my friend's sisters got promoted to be a boss. I'm happy for her. I helped her a little bit with her CV when she was applying for a job last year.
 
I'm becoming the elder statesman in Christmas parties. Last night, I was given a remark (compliment?):

"You look like a man who knows exactly what he wants and where he stands."

And then:

"I'm absolutely drunk, but this man, he drank more than me and looks completely sober."
 
Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, 1930s-1950s jazz. Old fashioned. Bruichladdich. My soul is happy.

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I walk into a pub within walking distance of my parents' house to see a mate who lives close by there. I look for him once I get through the front door and the bar maid tells me, "He's sitting over there."

I get the usual "haven't seen you for awhile" pleasantries and my customary London Pride.

When I'm finished my last pint, she knows to get the whisky too.
 
Monkeyface said:
How does one meet girls (or rather, women) at your age? I'm guessing they're not on tinder.
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They used to work for me.

Oooh you mean in general - I have a loquacious and extroverted friend who works in advertising. I usually connect in her parties and she looks out for me. I guess other things are events - charities, volunteering, professional societies, recreational leagues, yoga (none of which I partake in).
 
Fwiffo said:
They used to work for me.

Oooh you mean in general - I have a loquacious and extroverted friend who works in advertising. I usually connect in her parties and she looks out for me. I guess other things are events - charities, volunteering, professional societies, recreational leagues, yoga (none of which I partake in).
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Cheers, good to know what's in store for me if I end up as a childless bachelor! Doesn't sound half bad.
 
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