Resume, Job Help, & Job/Career Advice

Monkeyface said:
I'd like to live by the beach, so will have weigh commute time vs closeness to the beach.

Lol we spent quite some time together in London and many trips after that. I think that scenario is more likely to happen to you.
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You could get a comfortable motorcycle like this but not sure you'd be as daring with it to beat the traffic like I am with jaywalking. I walked in front a moving police van (out of my line of vision) yesterday but they slowed down and gave me a friendly siren tap instead of a ticket.

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LelandJ said:
You could get a comfortable motorcycle like this but not sure you'd be as daring with it to beat the traffic like I am with jaywalking. I walked in front a moving police van (out of my line of vision) yesterday but they slowed down and gave me a friendly siren tap instead of a ticket.

1450194285Star-Motorcycles-V-Star-250.jpg
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I'd like to get a motorcycle, but probably not an American one (don't let Trump hear it!). I would buy an American car though, so that should make up for it.
 
Arnathor said:
What would you like to drive?
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Ideally a black on black Challenger Hellcat, realistically probably the normal SRT. A 1-2y old Jaguar F type is in a similar price range, but I feel I should drive American. I'm (hopefully) leaving London for a reason.

For motorcycles I'm a bit undecided and won't buy one straight away anyways, the car will be a big enough expense. I like cafe racers, but I'm also a big fan of the lighter sports bikes like a Duc 959 or Triumph 675. However, I used to have the most fun on my supermoto, so will probably get a KTM 640.

Rambo said:
YES! Fuck that bitch. You'll be tripping over hot pussies in LA. There's more women than men in the city. Trust me, even a crippled prick like you will be having a field day.
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Thanks, but I'm not really worried about that. It's just that my motivation to move and seek a better life has to come from internal sources rather than external ones now, which isn't a bad thing per se. After all, everyone is responsible for their own happiness.
 
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.

I have had a very short and well groomed beard for the past three years now, but I guess it can offend conservative people in interviews and be seen as unprofessional. I think it gives me more maturity and I have been mistaken for being my boss's boss previously and clients take me slightly more seriously however small the effect. Shaving it now will probably make me look even paler than I already am and I'd feel a bit awkward, but looking at he team's LinkedIn no one else has a beard, while in London it's very common these days.
 
Monkeyface said:
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.

I have had a very short and well groomed beard for the past three years now, but I guess it can offend conservative people in interviews and be seen as unprofessional. I think it gives me more maturity and I have been mistaken for being my boss's boss previously and clients take me slightly more seriously however small the effect. Shaving it now will probably make me look even paler than I already am and I'd feel a bit awkward, but looking at he team's LinkedIn no one else has a beard, while in London it's very common these days.
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Add a top knot and you could join Thruth's burro troop.

Or just tell 'em you're monkeyface.

Might have to get your legs waxed in LA too.
 
Monkeyface said:
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.

I have had a very short and well groomed beard for the past three years now, but I guess it can offend conservative people in interviews and be seen as unprofessional. I think it gives me more maturity and I have been mistaken for being my boss's boss previously and clients take me slightly more seriously however small the effect. Shaving it now will probably make me look even paler than I already am and I'd feel a bit awkward, but looking at he team's LinkedIn no one else has a beard, while in London it's very common these days.
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Post a pic, bro.
 
I'm loving my new job. Fun work, more money, less stress and normal hours!

IMG_0291.webp
 
Monkeyface said:
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.

I have had a very short and well groomed beard for the past three years now, but I guess it can offend conservative people in interviews and be seen as unprofessional. I think it gives me more maturity and I have been mistaken for being my boss's boss previously and clients take me slightly more seriously however small the effect. Shaving it now will probably make me look even paler than I already am and I'd feel a bit awkward, but looking at he team's LinkedIn no one else has a beard, while in London it's very common these days.
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I'm not aware if this would be a negative in a financial-world interview.

However, facial hair is not something I factor into my decisions on hiring unless the hair is completely ridiculous - like matted with animal feces.

Last person I hired had a scruff like he hadn't shaved in a week. Who cares. He killed it on the interview and he was the first of 7 and I wanted to hire him on the spot but I couldn't.
 
Thruth said:
I'm not aware if this would be a negative in a financial-world interview.

However, facial hair is not something I factor into my decisions on hiring unless the hair is completely ridiculous - like matted with animal feces.

Last person I hired had a scruff like he hadn't shaved in a week. Who cares. He killed it on the interview and he was the first of 7 and I wanted to hire him on the spot but I couldn't.
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Why cultivate around your face what grows naturally around your arse?

Few can carry a beard well. If you have a beard then okay, but I would be asking myself, what's he hiding behind that? It may be something as innocent as a double chin, but it could be something altogether more sinister.
 
Lord Buckley said:
Why cultivate around your face what grows naturally around your arse?

Few can carry a beard well. If you have a beard then okay, but I would be asking myself, what's he hiding behind that? It may be something as innocent as a double chin, but it could be something altogether more sinister.
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I'm hiding my office tan. I only get 5 minutes of sunlight a day!
 
viaattovannucci said:
The arbitrary association of facial hair with uncleanliness and menace is always the mark of a true anti-Semite.
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I was of course referring to the hipster who sports a beard last seen on foreman navvies and boiler makers working on Isambard Kingdom Brunel's SS Great Eastern. Somehow transferred to the cherubic faces of IT graduates it doesn't quite cut the mustard.
 
Monkeyface said:
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.

I have had a very short and well groomed beard for the past three years now, but I guess it can offend conservative people in interviews and be seen as unprofessional. I think it gives me more maturity and I have been mistaken for being my boss's boss previously and clients take me slightly more seriously however small the effect. Shaving it now will probably make me look even paler than I already am and I'd feel a bit awkward, but looking at he team's LinkedIn no one else has a beard, while in London it's very common these days.
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As long as it looks clean and attended to I don't care. I do hate those blokes who don't shave their neck. Its a sign of idiocy or don't care attitude. I'd never hire someone who had a hairy neck.

My impression is that Americans are very very conservative by nature. So probably go beardless.
 
Monkeyface said:
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.

I have had a very short and well groomed beard for the past three years now, but I guess it can offend conservative people in interviews and be seen as unprofessional. I think it gives me more maturity and I have been mistaken for being my boss's boss previously and clients take me slightly more seriously however small the effect. Shaving it now will probably make me look even paler than I already am and I'd feel a bit awkward, but looking at he team's LinkedIn no one else has a beard, while in London it's very common these days.
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Full body sugaring and Top tan is the only way you'll make it - ask LKP for tips.

Monkeyface said:
So, I think I might get a job offer in California soon (knock on wood), but I also think my girlfriend, who I would be moving to, is breaking up with me.

Should I still go and just live on my own? I've worked hard to get this new job, and it would be comparable to my current London job, slightly more money, much better work culture and a fun team, so less stressful. I could also take a nice 3 month break in between jobs, after having very little vacation the past 3 years. I'd be much further from my family, but I only see them twice a year anyways and I can still do that if I were to live in Cali. I think it would be a good place to put down roots, even if I'd have to start over relationship and friends wise.
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Definitely go. You could meet up regularly with StanleyVanBuren, Mr Moo and others as well as take vacations to Moscow, ID.
 
Has anybody hired someone on the basis of their sexuality? Well, kind of.....

We were searching in the Dutch market for a candidate who had experience of this specific financial software. Things were getting desperate, but this should have warned us that something was wrong i.e. the software was not compatible with Dutch financial legislation or accountancy practices. Nevertheless we continued our desperate head hunting activities.

Then we found this chap and he was a disaster in the interview. But then someone, quite astutely observed he was gay and as we had a similar chap in another office in the exact same role using the exact same software then it was bound to be an unmitigated success. So I took him on.

The rest is a sordid tale of what happens when you take on someone who can't get out of bed, unless it's to go to a sauna for some casual sex with several strangers. After several days of going AWOL, I eventually tracked him down and knocked at his front door......the vision that opened the door was quite disturbing, nevertheless I had his letter of termination with me and so I had to get him to sign.
 
Lord Buckley said:
After several days of going AWOL, I eventually tracked him down and knocked at his front door......the vision that opened the door was quite disturbing, nevertheless I had his letter of termination with me and so I had to get him to sign.
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Termination letter to be signed? This must be some organization from another planet. I'm sure I can just terminate anyone whether you're here or not especially for unprofessional conduct and gross negligence. If you're here, it's just the logistics of sorting out what to do with your kit and escorting you out the door.

In my last firm, they insisted I write an e-mail or memo to state I resigned after I delivered that verbally to my boss. Were they in doubt I wasn't going to walk out of the door after the four weeks notice?

I haven't hired anyone based on how they look, but I have interviewed people purely because running their name through LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, whatever social media and they looked attractive. That's usually just to entertain me in amongst the group of 6 or 7 interviews.
 
Fwiffo said:
Termination letter to be signed? This must be some organization from another planet. I'm sure I can just terminate anyone whether you're here or not especially for unprofessional conduct and gross negligence. If you're here, it's just the logistics of sorting out what to do with your kit and escorting you out the door.
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Not so here, one has to follow due process and procedure. And after they agree to the termination letter and the reasons for getting rid, they now have 14 days to seek a lawyer and then come back and say it was signed under duress, pressure or as a whim.

It's really toxic here, but the good thing is that maximum pay-offs have been reduced from Euros 400,000 to 75,000.
 
They all look pretty preppy. OCBDs, navy blazers, and even some bow ties on their LinkedIn pics!
 
Monkeyface said:
They all look pretty preppy. OCBDs, navy blazers, and even some bow ties on their LinkedIn pics!
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Bow ties !!!!!!!!! -

My advice - Get yourself over to ASK ANDY join up - go to the Tradly Forum - read the last 2 years or so of nonsense, get a Navy Blazer, Brooks Blue x 3 white x 3 OCBD shirts, 6 x pairs of Dockers Chinos, 2 x pairs of grey or in this case "gray" wool trousers, 2 x pair of Cordovan wingtip shoes 1 x black pair 1 x brown pair, 1 x pair of Penny Loafers, 1 x pair of Sperry Topsiders, 4 pair of argyle socks, 3 x striped rep ties.

If you really want to fit in get a pair of goofy below the knees sports shorts, some big white and green coloured athletic shoes, a horizontal striped polo shirt and 5 x goofy baseball caps - for formal wear and wearing to restaurants.

Seeing you are really euro trash masquerading as an Englishman you'll need to study USA etiquette and present yourself as admiring of their president, yes yes I know but its USA, christian at least, fundamentalist preferably, and also buy a gun and a Kevlar vest, learn to chew gum constantly - with your mouth open, learn how to tip.

That's enough for now - more later.
 
fxh said:
Bow ties !!!!!!!!! -

My advice - Get yourself over to ASK ANDY join up - go to the Tradly Forum - read the last 2 years or so of nonsense, get a Navy Blazer, Brooks Blue x 3 white x 3 OCBD shirts, 6 x pairs of Dockers Chinos, 2 x pairs of grey or in this case "gray" wool trousers, 2 x pair of Cordovan wingtip shoes 1 x black pair 1 x brown pair, 1 x pair of Penny Loafers, 1 x pair of Sperry Topsiders, 4 pair of argyle socks, 3 x striped rep ties.

If you really want to fit in get a pair of goofy below the knees sports shorts, some big white and green coloured athletic shoes, a horizontal striped polo shirt and 5 x goofy baseball caps - for formal wear and wearing to restaurants.

Seeing you are really euro trash masquerading as an Englishman you'll need to study USA etiquette and present yourself as admiring of their president, yes yes I know but its USA, christian at least, fundamentalist preferably, and also buy a gun and a Kevlar vest, learn to chew gum constantly - with your mouth open, learn how to tip.

That's enough for now - more later.
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Once again your casual anti-americanism is based on nothing more than your profound ignorance.
 
Profound
(of a person or statement) having or showing great knowledge or insight.
"a profound philosopher"
synonyms: wise, learned, clever, intelligent, with/showing great knowledge, knowledgeable, intellectual, scholarly, sage, sagacious, erudite, discerning, penetrating, perceptive, astute, thoughtful, full of insight, insightful, percipient, perspicacious, philosophical, deep;
raresapient
"a profound analysis of the problems"
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Monkeyface said:
Btw, facial hair or no facial hair for interviews? It's a small detail but I don't want to risk anything.
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If you can't assess this risk on your own, you probably should not be allowed around OPM. But I guess you know that already.
 
güero said:
If you can't assess this risk on your own, you probably should not be allowed around OPM. But I guess you know that already.
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Meh, I've never worked on the west coast before. Always helps asking some resident Americans (not Germans or Ozzies).
 
I thought on the west coast it isn't a good idea to wear a tie, as it as a sure sign that you are working for the man?
 
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