Resume, Job Help, & Job/Career Advice

Lord Buckley said:
The oil industry remains locked-in what feels like a death spiral of depression and this chap has contacted me today, not aware that he is one of 15 applicants for this position, that he is willing to take the position on, so long as it is a "detaching" contract. What this means is that we enter into a contract for 3 years and if for whatever reason there is no work, the job or project ends because of cancellation by the client or such like, we will continue paying him a salary until the end of the 3 years.

How anyone can even contemplate such a move in these times is beyond me. His CV is now residing in the bin.
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Are you interviewing for the board...?
 
formby said:
Are you interviewing for the board...?
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This chap is a real beaut. I had a meeting with him last November being one of the victims of that oil major that dare not speak its name which is busy outsourcing all the middle management and below jobs to Bangalore. Anyway, back then he had some vague proposals about consultancy and reinvigorating companies at the strategic level and then cascading it down to operations. He wanted something crazy like 180 grand a year.

Having been mollycoddled for nigh on 20 years, I knew he was in for a rude awakening. This is much lesser role than what he has been use to and he was very keen. Big pay-offs don't last long when you're sitting around at home looking at porn, or buying stuff.
 
You should have made a counter proposal. Times are tough mate, but if you help us finish this one project pro bono for a few months, you'll be a locks when we might be able to pay you for the next one.
 
I don't bother with any of that malarkey, I'm an English gent, my first and initial proposal is the honest, amicable and fair one for all parties. Life's too short to start haggling with people I wouldn't have a drink with in normal circumstances. I also as a matter of honour discount anyone who mentions they're interested in "pro bono consulting" on their CV or LinkedIn profile. Generally this is a euphemism for I am under qualified, out of my depth, but I am great BS merchant and I am looking for an entry into the public sector managing a charity, or preferably an NHS trust for lots of dosh for very little effort and result.
 
My human resources contact says not only do I have to publish that head shot that the company paid for me on our internal computer network but also now to my LinkedIn profile. What if I don't want to post anything on my LinkedIn profile? Isn't that my profile? I can understand if you don't let me log in to the work computer because I didn't put a mugshot of myself, but my LinkedIn existed before I joined this firm.
 
Lord Buckley said:
The oil industry remains locked-in what feels like a death spiral of depression and this chap has contacted me today, not aware that he is one of 15 applicants for this position, that he is willing to take the position on, so long as it is a "detaching" contract. What this means is that we enter into a contract for 3 years and if for whatever reason there is no work, the job or project ends because of cancellation by the client or such like, we will continue paying him a salary until the end of the 3 years.

How anyone can even contemplate such a move in these times is beyond me. His CV is now residing in the bin.
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It is a death spiral, thermodynamic laws can't be violated.

Not many years left unfortunately/fortunately.
 
Fwiffo said:
My human resources contact says not only do I have to publish that head shot that the company paid for me on our internal computer network but also now to my LinkedIn profile. What if I don't want to post anything on my LinkedIn profile? Isn't that my profile? I can understand if you don't let me log in to the work computer because I didn't put a mugshot of myself, but my LinkedIn existed before I joined this firm.
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Tell them to bugger off.
 
formby said:
We'll probably never run out of oil, for the same reason we'll never run out of coal.
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You can print infinite digital petrodollars, but when energy returned on energy invested turns negative production of that particular field will cease. This will happen to every oil field in the world quite sooner than most people realize.
 
Peak oil, of the easy to get cheap stuff has already been and gone. But there's still plenty of in harder to get to locations, or more technologically challenging. Initially costs are higher, this might make it expensive, but through innovation, economies of scale over time, this will become viable. And then there's gas of course.

Oil is needed for a great many things other than for powering cars, that's only one part of the oil drum. Then there's cleaner gas of course.

This current recession was in many ways artificially manipulated and has back fired spectacularly on the instigator.

The fossil energy age isn't ending any time soon.
 
Lord Buckley said:
Peak oil, of the easy to get cheap stuff has already been and gone. But there's still plenty of in harder to get to locations, or more technologically challenging. Initially costs are higher, this might make it expensive, but through innovation, economies of scale over time, this will become viable. And then there's gas of course.

Oil is needed for a great many things other than for powering cars, that's only one part of the oil drum. Then there's cleaner gas of course.

This current recession was in many ways artificially manipulated and has back fired spectacularly on the instigator.

The fossil energy age isn't ending any time soon.
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But LelandJ LelandJ knows more than you because he reads blogs!
 
There was an excellent peak oil website that ran during the 2000's, called The Oil Drum. Mostly by academics, but they had lots of inside knowledge on the Kashagan Project in in Kazakhstan, lots of the intrigue, the missing millions and there was a classic photo entitled "Gentlemen On The Caspian" which was of some rough arse, bearded North Sea Tigers completely pissed in a bar. I thought it was really funny.
 
Lord Buckley said:
Peak oil, of the easy to get cheap stuff has already been and gone. But there's still plenty of in harder to get to locations, or more technologically challenging. Initially costs are higher, this might make it expensive, but through innovation, economies of scale over time, this will become viable. And then there's gas of course.

Oil is needed for a great many things other than for powering cars, that's only one part of the oil drum. Then there's cleaner gas of course.

This current recession was in many ways artificially manipulated and has back fired spectacularly on the instigator.

The fossil energy age isn't ending any time soon.
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The point is, not that technology makes oil, easier to get, it does, its that the application of various technologies will enable it to be replaced as an energy source, The steam age didn't come about because we ran out of wind to power the windmills.

http://www.deeside.com/uks-largest-solar-park-powering-shotton-paper-mill/

It's the very same thinking that claims that automation will make us all redundant (an argument that's been raging since the Luddites went around smashed up looms), it ignores the development of new products/industries...

I'm surprised that this type of thinking still exists, however, there are still Marxists spouting their nonsense in the face of overwhelming evidence that they are talking out of the back of their neck. So, perhaps, I shouldn't be so surprised after all...?
 
formby said:
The point is, not that technology makes oil, easier to get, it does, its that the application of various technologies will enable it to be replaced as an energy source, The steam age didn't come about because we ran out of wind to power the windmills.

http://www.deeside.com/uks-largest-solar-park-powering-shotton-paper-mill/

It's the very same thinking that claims that automation will make us all redundant (an argument that's been raging since the Luddites went around smashed up looms), it ignores the development of new products/industries...

I'm surprised that this type of thinking still exists, however, there are still Marxists spouting their nonsense in the face of overwhelming evidence that they are talking out of the back of their neck. So, perhaps, I shouldn't be so surprised after all...?
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There will come a point when an AI is both smarter and cheaper than a human. Seeing as a general AI can do everything a human can do, and then some, it doesn't make sense to use humans for any kind of labor or decision making. Of course it's impossible to predict when such an AI will be viable. Predictions range from 15 years to never, but that doesn't mean society shouldn't think about that possibility.
 
formby said:
An Australian bar in Australia is bad enough...The horror...
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People overseas, but also many Australians, have a stereotyped idea of some mythical Australian bar somewhere in the rose coloured 50s, rural and full of uncomplicated male bonhomie and without any drink other than cold beer guzzler while wearing dirty shorts, singlet and boots or barefeet. Whilst I'm sure in states other than the one I'm in you may well find such an artifact if you search hard enough, if like I do, you live in a city like Melbourne with 3.5 million people, then a typical Australian bar will be a small well furnished room, quiet, with as many women as men, most dressed sensibly and a wide selection of local wines, spirits and craft beers. I'll bet your Hague "Australian bar" has no fucking near facsimile in my city at all and what's worse probably sells Foster's beer, a brew that isn't swallowed by anyone here and isn't even available to purchase anywhere I know. Tell 'em they're a bunch of fuckin wankers - from me. Now you can't get more Australian than that.
 
fxh said:
People overseas, but also many Australians, have a stereotyped idea of some mythical Australian bar somewhere in the rose coloured 50s, rural and full of uncomplicated male bonhomie and without any drink other than cold beer guzzler while wearing dirty shorts, singlet and boots or barefeet. Whilst I'm sure in states other than the one I'm in you may well find such an artifact if you search hard enough, if like I do, you live in a city like Melbourne with 3.5 million people, then a typical Australian bar will be a small well furnished room, quiet, with as many women as men, most dressed sensibly and a wide selection of local wines, spirits and craft beers. I'll bet your Hague "Australian bar" has no fucking near facsimile in my city at all and what's worse probably sells Foster's beer, a brew that isn't swallowed by anyone here and isn't even available to purchase anywhere I know. Tell 'em they're a bunch of fuckin wankers - from me. Now you can't get more Australian than that.
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I remember a while back somewhere in the ME I came across a "Kiwi, SAfa and Aussie bar". It's tag line was "Sweet! Lekke! Bonza!".

Obviously some local businessman thought there weren't enough expats of either species in town to justify their own establishment, so he opened a bar that would cater to all three. Because, you know, we all like rugby and most of all we love each other.

If I found myself in the Middle East inside a bar full of South Africans and New Zealanders I'd be calling the local ISIS branch to blow the fucker up before you could say "biltong".
 
Jesus I can barely think of anything worse than a bar in another country - or anywhere- with South Africans New Zealanders ++ Aussies. I suppose one could console oneself that there weren't any Poms or Septics there as well.
 
http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20170407-we-can-learn-a-lot-from-how-the-french-do-lunch

I don't know whether this is a myth but I am up for two hour lunches. Actually I get into work a few minutes to 8 and leave around 5 with a 90 minute lunch 3 of 5 days a week so I am actually not too far off.

I am not one to take insanely long coffee breaks to socialise unless of course my diary says hang out at the cafe because all the meetings got cancelled.
 
Fwiffo said:
I don't know whether this is a myth but I am up for two hour lunches.
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It's France - not a myth. The real mystery is how they find 2 hours to have lunch in between going on strike.

Or these days, perhaps going to mosque is more like it alalala!
 
Fwiffo said:
http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20170407-we-can-learn-a-lot-from-how-the-french-do-lunch

I don't know whether this is a myth but I am up for two hour lunches. Actually I get into work a few minutes to 8 and leave around 5 with a 90 minute lunch 3 of 5 days a week so I am actually not too far off.

I am not one to take insanely long coffee breaks to socialise unless of course my diary says hang out at the cafe because all the meetings got cancelled.
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Lol, a 90min lunch break while working 8 to 5 is nearly the same as the French. Canadians work good hours, must be the French influence.

On the other hand, Anglo-Saxons like making fun of the French while bragging about working 12 hour days with a 10min lunch break, but in reality they all feel miserable (myself included).
 
Last night I received an e-mail that says I have to seek division head approval for any staff working from home. My boss is VP. This is my boss' boss. As I represent thirty odd people, I reckon on any given day at least two people are working from home. Perhaps a third will have some personal emergency (vehicle, missed public transit, child is ill) and tell me the day of. Never mind I have two chaps who work staggered hours and don't come in two days a week because even though our office is open 24 hours they delight in no end to do floor x-rays, carpet cleaning, alarm tests, water shutdowns at least a few times a month.

I almost feel like collecting a schedule on Thursdays so I can send out an approval request on Friday but I already know I will be accused of lack of empathy.
 
And the penalties if you don't conform????? I'm guessing no one even knows.

Your workplace continues to amuse me and I do believe you are making it all up -its a work of fiction and part of a satire on modern corporations you are writing while wrapped in a blanket in a freezing basement in Canada.
 
It also implies that the head of the division has nothing better to do than to carefully study each employee's work from home request for any monkey business. You'd think this would be the direct manager's job, or someone in hr perhaps, not someone who's responsible for leading an entire division.
 
Right now I am sitting on the announcement as it was sent only to my level. I will try to gauge the matter through my boss so I can see what it is all about. I reckon it is because no one has ever asked for permission so it looks bad.

I'm willing to play along. However, are we talking following the letter of the law resolutely like the Pol Pot regime or following the law like Vichy France where you give up a few sacrificial lambs here & there or 'sanctions what sanctions!?' a la North Korea...
 
Fwiffo said:
Right now I am sitting on the announcement as it was sent only to my level. I will try to gauge the matter through my boss so I can see what it is all about. I reckon it is because no one has ever asked for permission so it looks bad.

I'm willing to play along. However, are we talking following the letter of the law resolutely like the Pol Pot regime or following the law like Vichy France where you give up a few sacrificial lambs here & there or 'sanctions what sanctions!?' a la North Korea...
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You work for Germans. They like counting people and knowing where everyone is
 
Thruth said:
You work for Germans. They like counting people and knowing where everyone is
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I'm imagining the division head going over the daily employee logs printed out in booklet format as his bedtime reading. He's wearing one of those nighttime caps, and he's holding a magnifying glass and red pen for markups. All is well in his world when every single one of his employees has been accounted for, and only then can he sleep soundly.
 
Monkeyface said:
I'm imagining the division head going over the daily employee logs printed out in booklet format as his bedtime reading. He's wearing one of those nighttime caps, and he's holding a magnifying glass and red pen for markups. All is well in his world when every single one of his employees has been accounted for, and only then can he sleep soundly.
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Ololo
IMG_7822.webp
 
Thruth said:
You work for Germans. They like counting people and knowing where the bodies are
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Monkeyface said:
I'm imagining the division commander going over the daily employee logs printed out in booklet format as his bedtime reading. He's wearing one of those SS skull caps, and he's holding a magnifying glass and red pen for markups. All is well in his world when every single one of his troops has been accounted for, and only then can he sleep soundly.
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Guys please, Scherensammler is watching...
 
So I have decided to forgo my year off with pay.

Came up with a plan to take over the clinical and community-based operations.

The consolidation under me will save $300K per year by not having to hire someone from outside the organization And canceling a contract with the dude who runs the community-based operations.

In return I will not take the scheduled $30,000 per year pay cut for leaving the BigChair™ plus get a six-figure stipend (which will come out of gross revenues instead of base budget) annually to run the show.

Brilliant.
 
Thruth said:
So I have decided to forgo my year off with pay.

Came up with a plan to take over the clinical and community-based operations.

The consolidation under me will save $300K per year by not having to hire someone from outside the organization And canceling a contract with the dude who runs the community-based operations.

In return I will not take the scheduled $30,000 per year pay cut for leaving the BigChair™ plus get a six-figure stipend (which will come out of gross revenues instead of base budget) annually to run the show.

Brilliant.
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this is brilliant. any upgrades in retirement/benefits?
 
Rambo said:
this is brilliant. any upgrades in retirement/benefits?
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benefits remain the same, which is good. pension is similar but i think i do lose a slight top up for senior management.

but, the stipend is paid to my prof corp so i don't get dinged for taxes as compared to if it was added to my salary.
 
Thruth said:
benefits remain the same, which is good. pension is similar but i think i do lose a slight top up for senior management.

but, the stipend is paid to my prof corp so i don't get dinged for taxes as compared to if it was added to my salary.
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nicely done sparky. nicely done.
 
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