Resume, Job Help, & Job/Career Advice

[prince nez]

Nez - your strategy sounds fine. Its about getting the outcomes - no prayers out loud in cubicle, no alienation of staff, deadlines met. Whatever works for all outcome is the optimum solution.

OTOH - is the bloke praying out loud? Not too much harm done if he rolls out the mat a few times kneels down and does it all silently. OTOH again - if its OK to say no smelly food at your cubicle out of consideration for others, no loud heavy metal music on your PC in cubicle and a prayer room is available. Then use it buddy. Possibly hes not using it because women are using it at the prayer times. OK - mate - just book a meeting/breakout room for 5 mins.

Me - I'd probably do do something like get a few of the known muslim "leaders" in the office and have a short meeting - (no food supplied - small joke re Ramadan) and say OK I want you to just fill me in on the Ramadan thing (you should do this anyway to keep things clear) - food rules - when is sunset etc and about praying in office or prayer room. Then write a short to the point summary dot points of the Ramadan issue and let them police it (Religious Police!) or a day after meeting just rock along to this bloke and say "The Iman said use the prayer room mate"

Keep in mind he might be Shiite and the others Sunni or more secular. Or he might be a bit naive or he might be a dickhead.

Yes, that is where I think I'll be heading (not beheading...) I was talking to one of the more senior guys who happens to be Muslim about Ramadan the other week when it started. He was saying he has to drive in and out so he can eat asap with his family at home (he usually uses public transport which is a circuitous route from our workplace to where he lives). So I said, take one of the company cars during the week to save some petrol and on parking fees while Ramadan's on, which I think he appreciated.

Even if the guy drops it - its still your issue.

This I know - in fact, it becomes 2 issues because not acting on the original complaint will likely piss that guy off too, reduce trust etc. with him and he won't come to me with concerns in the future, and that's not good for anybody.

 

[fxh]

I meant to say that each year before Ramadan I'd get it all straight and at a staff meeting prior to Ramadan get someone - or you - to give a short burst on Ramadan - cultural etc - how the Malaysians do it, Indonesians etc , and then a sharp to the point about Ramadan in the workplace. Y'know - the old - I'm a reasonable man etc etc - few lame jokes - then - BUT we are here to work.

 

[fxh]

I will however to defend my right to say 10 decades of the rosary out loud while kneeling in my cubicle.

 

[prince nez]

I meant to say that each year before Ramadan I'd get it all straight and at a staff meeting prior to Ramadan get someone - or you - to give a short burst on Ramadan - cultural etc - how the Malaysians do it, Indonesians etc , and then a sharp to the point about Ramadan in the workplace. Y'know - the old - I'm a reasonable man etc etc - few lame jokes - then - BUT we are here to work.

Well, in honesty this is the first issue, and there have been Muslims working here for years. I think it's because the guy is new and probably doesn't know about the prayer rooms. The company should have given him a Muslim employee guide but it wouldn't surprise me if they just forgot or didn't bother to ask.

Usually all this stuff has all looked after itself but maybe you're right it could be time to be a bit more proactive about it and hold an informal meeting over a few orange juices.

I will however to defend my right to say 10 decades of the rosary out loud while kneeling in my cubicle.

Thanks sarto. Where do you reckon I should put the burning crosses?

 

[fxh]

No orange juice in Ramadan buddy.

 

[prince nez]

I was thinking meeting after dark... we don't all knock off at 5 here. Though I suppose some will want to go home to families etc.

In which case I might suggest we do it when Ramadan is over to hold the meeting as an informal afternoon tea. We have some new starters coming next month so no point doing it now only to have to reiterate for the newbies.

 

[fxh]

These are the stupid thing about being in charge - its always bushfires and nonsense 80% of the time. Explain to hippies why reusing the paper in the printer leads to confusion with people not knowing which side of print is the one to read or jamming up the printer or getting confidential reports sent out on the reverse side of reports. Or sorting out an issue where someone is "sensitive" to someone else's perfumes. Or explaining why showing your bum crack while bending over isn't the professional image we are trying to project.

 

[fxh]

a don't mention Feng Shui in the office. I do hope you've done that

 

[prince nez]

These are the stupid thing about being in charge - its always bushfires and nonsense 80% of the time. Explain to hippies why reusing the paper in the printer leads to confusion with people not knowing which side of print is the one to read or jamming up the printer or getting confidential reports sent out on the reverse side of reports. Or sorting out an issue where someone is "sensitive" to someone else's perfumes. Or explaining why showing your bum crack while bending over isn't the professional image we are trying to project.

Speaking of stupid nonsense reminds me I was once brought into my former manager's office because of a pair of Chinese flags I had on my desk. I am not Chinese, however I thought it was ironic that these Chinese flags were made locally - just about the only things with such a low value I'd seen that were not made in China!

Some Romanian bitch who wasn't a part of our team but worked on the same level complained to my manager that I had these flags of a Communist country on my desk, and that as someone who grew up under Communism (and worked like it too I might add) she was offended. I asked her if she hated her own country's flag, as it hadn't changed since Ceaucescu was in charge. I also pointed out that the Chinese were our friends and we had quite a few Chinese clients upon whom our collective livelihoods depended, so if she felt so strongly about Communist regimes perhaps she should resign.

My manager was a nice enough guy but completely spineless to the point of involving HR who promptly told him that I was the one in the right, given the items in question weren't offensive to any reasonable person, and it was my workspace. In essence all he did was successfully lose what little respect I had for him as his loyalty was clearly to his own arse before members of his team.

As a parting gift when I departed that office I left my Chinese flags on the bitch's desk.

 

[fxh]

Its fun though. Years ago. CEO. Small organisation 40 + people. This one woman, good worker nice enough person if a bit stuck in her ways, had a weird inferiority complex. Other than being a bit boring I had no problems with her. People aren't paid to be interesting. Except this -she'd always complain to me about being sidelined, left out etc. To a small extent it was true of some of the younger ones but not cruel or inappropriate at all. Mostly she'd complain of being in the dark it was stuff that I didn't even know all about but she assumed it was all being done behind her back. I'd reassure her every now and then - sigh and things would be ok for 3 months or so.

It happened again - she said she was being overlooked by new building user group consults or something - she wasn't - I reassured her - she wasn't ignored - she thanked me and went away happy - the next day the annual report gets delivered - 500 glossy copies. Guess the ONLY staff name missing from the list.

 

[prince nez]

People are funny.

I had a CEO who was addicted to diet Coke; he used to order in a pallette of the stuff every week. He was such a wanker he used to have two bottles of diet Coke placed in an ice bucket like champagne, and labelled with his name on it at every event or meeting he went to. Needless to say when I saw this for the first time I accepted the challenge, sculled one of his bottles and displayed it on my desk as a trophy.

If it was cocaine I would have had far more respect for the guy.

 

[fxh]

It did I occur to me that if you were my boss I may well be forced to drop to the floor and pray 5 times a day to ask for divine intervention.

 

[fxh]

If it was cocaine I'd have had more respect for you!

 

[prince nez]

It did I occur to me that if you were my boss I may well be forced to drop to the floor and pray 5 times a day to ask for divine intervention.

He won't help you once he finds out you're working for me.

 

[prince nez]

If it was cocaine I'd have had more respect for you!

Another story for another time.

 

[Fwiffo]

To be fair, we're only commenting on what you type here, as we don't know you in real life. You might be the most personable guy ever, but I wouldn't know it from what you had posted so far in this thread.

No mate, you're right. Executives are all about collaborating and building relationships to get things done. The problem is I never aspired to be more than middle management. I get along with folks - those that have the same personality types as me. I struggle when they are the opposite personality profile. I also tend to hold a grudge - I'm unforgiving if you cross me.

I'm taking my staff out boozing on the company dime this afternoon.

I know most of my staff's kids - age, gender, sometimes name. I know which ones get allergies, I know what sports they are into, I know the dates for orthodox Christmas, Easter, Diwali, Ramadan, nowruz.

I know if the chap's fasting all day that a meeting at 4pm is not preferable.

I know my boss' birthday. Names of his wife and daughter. I just choose not to do intimate things with him or my directs; show up at their place on a weekend. If somehow that's holding me back....

For peers and others, I'll go out after work but I'm not going on Vegas or Bermuda getaways with them on weekends. With folks from lower levels of the corporate ladder, I find a lot of times it's let's imbibe the director so he spills the truth - which would be a travesty for the person trying.

 

[Fwiffo]

fwiffo - I think I've qualified everything I've written here in response to you with what monkey said or similar.

To be fair mate, he did mention about his kid playing sports - arguing with the coaches, referees, anyone and making up their own rules. And if things don't pan out, the kid recluses to a corner in a protective way. When I think about it, I steered that conversation that way because I said I really only play individual sports and a peer noted other than basketball, I've never really participated in team sports. I somehow knew where the conversation would go.

450 people is impressive. I met an executive - not even senior - at a bank who had that. Pleasant man - met him a few times at a bar. Got an on the spot job offer from his direct. I remember the Friday he was moaning a bit about his transformation/change management program. On Monday, I heard he was escorted out the building.

I think perhaps that was my aversion to being in a corner office - you're just a bigger target.

 

[MFDoom]

So I landed a new role in May, made it to full-time in early June (ahead of schedule), and yesterday I signed a two-year contract, since I'm now going to get heavy client contact. However, I negotiated out the evergreen clause of the contract that only gives me a 30-day window during the year in which to leave. That works if my only aspiration was to start my own firm (where timing is flexible) but I wanted to leave more options open in case some World Dictator role opened up in the off-season. And I have indirect reports who have adopted me as their new mentor. How this happened I have no idea. (okay I do, but still I'm surprised).

 

[Grand Potentate]

So I landed a new role in May, made it to full-time in early June (ahead of schedule), and yesterday I signed a two-year contract, since I'm now going to get heavy client contact. However, I negotiated out the evergreen clause of the contract that only gives me a 30-day window during the year in which to leave. That works if my only aspiration was to start my own firm (where timing is flexible) but I wanted to leave more options open in case some World Dictator role opened up in the off-season. And I have indirect reports who have adopted me as their new mentor. How this happened I have no idea. (okay I do, but still I'm surprised).

That's fucking awesome Doomy. Congratulations!

 

[Fwiffo]

So it's announced. My manager's position will be replaced by his former peer from Germany. I assume they are more than just peers as the last time he came over in May, they were doing man hugs with each other.

In the interim, my manager's right hand will run the show till the incoming European sorts out his living situation.

I drank myself into oblivion last night - a little peeved I wasn't even considered for the interim.

 

[Grand Potentate]

So it's announced. My manager's position will be replaced by his former peer from Germany. I assume they are more than just peers as the last time he came over in May, they were doing man hugs with each other.

In the interim, my manager's right hand will run the show till the incoming European sorts out his living situation.

I drank myself into oblivion last night - a little peeved I wasn't even considered for the interim.

Time to say sayonara

 

[LelandJ]

Been obvious for a long time now his industry is all about nepotism as I'm sure most others are as well.

 

[Fwiffo]

Sat through two vendor proposals today to give away $1M worth. Astonishing that the terms used by all the vendors are identical to the ones I introduced to this firm. One vendor was frank enough to say that we were not a mature organization where they can commit early on and be accountable for unmeasurable and undefined SLAs and KPIs. I'm sure it went over my peers' heads though.

 

[fxh]

fwiffo - that went over my head.

Vendors - giving away $1m - wtf - ice-cream vendors? what is this - agents for your product? Give away $1m - give away - I don't get it.

You cant have "unmeasurable and undefined SLAs and KPIs" then they aren't KPIs! - there has to be some measurement - even if its only consensus by a committee.

 

[prince nez]

You know Fwiffo drinks right? A lot...

 

[Fwiffo]

fwiffo - that went over my head.

Vendors - giving away $1m - wtf - ice-cream vendors? what is this - agents for your product? Give away $1m - give away - I don't get it.

Nope - I'd classify it as internal processes done by people for a line of business that isn't a growth or core focus here.

There has to be some measurement is what I preach, but I'm told that there are incalculable and intangible things - such as relationships, people's feelings, goodwill of your colleagues, the happiness of clients, the number of teeth showing on the clients' smile (oh wait, I just measured it!).

You do have to recognize before I showed up in this department, the personnel objectives were something like "Do a good job. Do what's right".

You know Fwiffo drinks right? A lot...

I kept it to a pedestrian, two double bourbons, one bottle of beer, one old fashioned, and six whiskys last night.

 

[fxh]

But people feelings if they matter can be measured. Eg 87.23% of people who have to deal with you think you are a shit.

 

[fxh]

Next criteria. An effective shit or in effective shit.

 

[fxh]

Suitable responses. Phew only 80% think I'm a shit. So I've improved. Last review it was 99%

 

[Fwiffo]

But people feelings if they matter can be measured. Eg 87.23% of people who have to deal with you think you are a shit.

Next criteria. An effective shit or in effective shit.

Suitable responses. Phew only 80% think I'm a shit. So I've improved. Last review it was 99%

I would assume that a better SMART objective is. Create a survey to assess my peers on whether I'm a wanker. Reduce the amount of people rating me as a wanker by 25% each quarter until we reach 0% at the end of the performance period.

Vendor proposals day 2 was more fun. My peers were clearly coming in with voices that were multiple octaves lower than usual. The one chap speaking at a hair slower than the speed of light didn't help.

 

[Fwiffo]

My manager is on a one month holiday. My interim manager is unexpectedly away till next month. Apparently they have been working with the senior managers in my division to host and show some woman from Australia associated with some partner firm of the Sydney office something.............except no one told me what it is. I only got a request to do something on Thursday and only the archnemesis and I are in the office. Archnemesis backed out because she says she has her client management quarterly reviews so I'm left wondering what to show this woman at 9am tomorrow.

And I don't even get the easy assignments like treat her to lunch or drinks after she spent $10K or whatever it is on business class from Sydney. I hope she won't be disappointed.

 

[prince nez]

...so I'm left wondering what to show this woman at 9am tomorrow.

Give her the HBI.

Right Arnathor??

 

[Fwiffo]

I've been trying to recruit for an open position during the past two months (almost three months) - why do people feel it's a good thing to moan about their current workplaces? I've had people do it on telephone screens. I've had people do it in the round two in person interview. It does you no good to moan or use dry sarcasm to describe recent reorganisations.

 

[fxh]

Do people really whinge about their previous employment in interviews?

Thats a very basic no no.

 

[Grand Potentate]

Do people really whinge about their previous employment in interviews?

Thats a very basic no no.

Yes it's surprisingly common

 

[Fwiffo]

It's depressing but yes - it happens more than it ought to.

 

[Fwiffo]

How is it I fired someone and he ends up applying for a job with one of our partner agents? I toed the political line but I was tempted to disclose the man was a git.

 

[Fwiffo]

The fatherland has rolled out a new piece of software for use in offices around the world. There are now e-mail reminders for when you have to go into the system to do something. The subject reads like this: "Stagnancy: Function/Task - No Human Update - # of days overdue"

I hadn't a clue stagnancy was a word. I reckon if I make my computer automatically do these things it will still prompt me as no human being was involved?

 

[Fwiffo]

So it looks like the airline is willing to give me $400 back for bumping me off a flight.

The trip was for work. Do I try to figure out how to file a negative expense report to give the $400 back to the company? Do I stave off filing another $400 of meals in my next expense report? Do I keep the $400 and pretend nothing happened?

 

[tosq]

So it looks like the airline is willing to give me $400 back for bumping me off a flight.

The trip was for work. Do I try to figure out how to file a negative expense report to give the $400 back to the company? Do I stave off filing another $400 of meals in my next expense report? Do I keep the $400 and pretend nothing happened?

Email and see what the company policy is.