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Need someone from Australia who knows how to actually run a fucking organisation
Resume, Job Help, & Job/Career Advice
- Thread starter Grand Potentate
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I'm sure he's flattered but Shooey has better things to do.
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Well, one employer promoted me while I'm waiting for the contract of the second to come in...
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we're a well run country
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Meh, it's just a bit unfortunate timing
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I've been sending an old work mate some material on peers not pulling their weight. He just moved to a new workplace after a very lengthy tenure and is astounded how his new boss tolerates one wanker at work; both incompetent and demoralising.
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I'm paraphrasing what I heard this morning: When you get a new boss, you ought to learn his or her nuances. For example, if he or she likes to write e-mails put smiley faces in it, and you are someone who doesn't, you should find places in your e-mails and insert a smiley face. People will always warm up, believe they have a better relationship and be more agreeable with people whom they think are like themselves.
Damn it - that's why I never had a good relationship with my previous boss. I don't use different coloured font sizes, colours nor happy faces!
Damn it - that's why I never had a good relationship with my previous boss. I don't use different coloured font sizes, colours nor happy faces!
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As I've said before your workplace amazes me. You actually work with adults who use smiley faces and coloured and mixed font sizes in correspondence?
And don't tell me they use Comic Sans for notices...
Lord Buckley
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When I worked in the engineering construction world, your boss was likely to be illiterate, but knew how to bully men into grafting. They usually had someone timid but educated beneath them who did all the letter writing, reports and discourse with clients.
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While the example given is asinine, the concept of matching your boss' (or anyone's) language and behaviours is valid. Other people will likely appreciate different things than you do, so meeting them at least halfway will help you loads.
It's not exactly a novel thought, and it's kind of common sense, so I wonder how badly you guys are doing when people feel the need to repeat it?
Lord Buckley
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Why would you want to mirror your bosses behaviour, mannerisms and quirks? Hopefully they are employing you for your valued professionalism and competency.
I have one pet hat when it comes to reports, those who write in Victorian English. You know the type: why say it with bullet points, when they can wax lyrical over ten paragraphs for each point. Sometimes this is warranted, but not always. Keep it simple.
Same too with overly long emails. If your email includes a full essay, then include it as an attachment in Word.
I have one pet hat when it comes to reports, those who write in Victorian English. You know the type: why say it with bullet points, when they can wax lyrical over ten paragraphs for each point. Sometimes this is warranted, but not always. Keep it simple.
Same too with overly long emails. If your email includes a full essay, then include it as an attachment in Word.
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It's been proven time and time again that they'll like you more, which leads to promotions, pay hikes etc. It's mostly an unconscious bias.
Lord Buckley
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Some chap has sent me his CV in and he has some fancy copperplate type font in both red and black, but the deal clincher is the pictorial logo of a red rose with green stem incuded the header of each page.
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Better than a smiley at the bottom
Lord Buckley
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Meanwhile, our accountant who's on holiday in the UK, bumped into someone on the street totally by chance who left us awhile back to go and live with his girlfriend in Germany. Things haven't turned out well for either of them. He hasn't been able to hold down a job as he couldn't grasp the German language and she had a job, but was made redundant. She has found a job in the UK, so he's gone over there and is now looking for a job.
There's something very undignified in having to follow your missus around for work and they don't even have kids. I suppose it shows something giving up your career for love.
What I see there is a long CV of three month positions and a slow descent into any short term work available as he follows his missus from one place to the next.
There's something very undignified in having to follow your missus around for work and they don't even have kids. I suppose it shows something giving up your career for love.
What I see there is a long CV of three month positions and a slow descent into any short term work available as he follows his missus from one place to the next.
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Is he working in the same office? That would be more depressing.
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lol I once worked with an idiot who wrote a departmental email about the untimely death of a colleague in comic sans jajajaja.
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I got invited to someone at LinkedIn because they want me to participate in some "thought leadership" thing - what is a thought leader?
What makes one qualified to be a leader in thoughts?
What makes one qualified to be a leader in thoughts?
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Clearly, you should turn down the invitation
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Yes, but her photograph on LinkedIn is somewhat attractive. I thought folks here would give me a few intelligent things to say so I can sustain a conversation.
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It's not a date. They think you have valuable insight into your industry. Is she foreign? If so she is angling for a job or business
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correct. although fwiffers does have quite the hold over the ladies.
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I do? I'm short and non-threatening according to Monkeyface.
Yesterday we had a project kickoff. Parts of the presentation involved highlighting which employees would be key to which tracks of the project including some of my staff. Afterwards we disbanded and I was in the lift going to another meeting with a few of my folks. One of them remarked, "How did you pull off not being listed anywhere in the project?"
"That's because I practised the art of delegation."
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I'm only going by your own descriptions, dear. For all I know you might be a square jawed Adonis blessed with a fair share of golden locks.
Lord Buckley
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Aye: you can't sack me, I've done nothing! Can work a treat.
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Let's not get carried away
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I received an interesting e-mail yesterday from a peer of mine. I would never deal with such a subject by e-mail especially since I wished him a happy weekend and an hour later he used his work mobile to send me a proposal.
A year into taking over this team, the organisation did a round of layoffs and took my two people managers and demoted them. One still works for me as an individual contributor. The other was moved to another team under my archnemesis. All of the remaining staff reported directly to me. I was told losing some headcount due to transfer or layoff was for the better good of the firm. We need their headcounts in other departments.
I muddled along and got another boss last year. His reorganisation had my archnemesis lose all but one staff and everyone transferred to a peer of mine. I picked up another team. Between him and I we're both halves of my boss' umbrella now.
I'm a much better people manager than this peer. I've managed longer than him, in more than one firm, in more than one country. It came as no surprise he was struggling to control his new empire.
Now the dilemma: he is offering to 'return' staff that were poached from my team two reorganisations ago namely because said ex supervisor is surplus to him or is uncontrollable. He asked me whether it is possible this person dons their old hat and works not in a management role but alongside the rest of the grunts; some of which used to report to this person. Apparently said person is bored and is doing make work under the guise of innovation.
This was conveyed in a four sentence e-mail. Is this discussion one would have over e-mail?! What about the ego or lack of ego of my ex direct? I had a terrible time with this person the first go around and I've found competent contractor replacements since then without needing to get a management headcount.
I keep thinking what's in it for me? After all, I only care about what's mine and what's next to mine. Is my department the dumping ground of unwanted detritus? I was already told my realm wasn't where we want to invest developing and attracting talent. Does that mean I have to absorb other people's rubbish?
A year into taking over this team, the organisation did a round of layoffs and took my two people managers and demoted them. One still works for me as an individual contributor. The other was moved to another team under my archnemesis. All of the remaining staff reported directly to me. I was told losing some headcount due to transfer or layoff was for the better good of the firm. We need their headcounts in other departments.
I muddled along and got another boss last year. His reorganisation had my archnemesis lose all but one staff and everyone transferred to a peer of mine. I picked up another team. Between him and I we're both halves of my boss' umbrella now.
I'm a much better people manager than this peer. I've managed longer than him, in more than one firm, in more than one country. It came as no surprise he was struggling to control his new empire.
Now the dilemma: he is offering to 'return' staff that were poached from my team two reorganisations ago namely because said ex supervisor is surplus to him or is uncontrollable. He asked me whether it is possible this person dons their old hat and works not in a management role but alongside the rest of the grunts; some of which used to report to this person. Apparently said person is bored and is doing make work under the guise of innovation.
This was conveyed in a four sentence e-mail. Is this discussion one would have over e-mail?! What about the ego or lack of ego of my ex direct? I had a terrible time with this person the first go around and I've found competent contractor replacements since then without needing to get a management headcount.
I keep thinking what's in it for me? After all, I only care about what's mine and what's next to mine. Is my department the dumping ground of unwanted detritus? I was already told my realm wasn't where we want to invest developing and attracting talent. Does that mean I have to absorb other people's rubbish?
Lord Buckley
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The answer is a one liner: I have no positions available at the moment.
Had a reference request for an ex-employee on Thursday, an excellent format by the way, good enough to steal, but another person on the way down. Grandiose visions terminating in mundane jobs, factory jobs or no jobs at all.
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Do you need this employee for your umbrella? Will this addition to headcount matter to your German masters? Especially given that they are a problem child. Were they a problem to manage for you?
Your peer is not suggesting this for your benefit but for his own.
Be Nancy Regan, just say no.
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Ha - good one.
No, I don't need this employee. I actually don't know how this would work out because I already entered this year's budget with X headcount and I hope I don't have to cut someone from next year's budget to keep this person. The reason this person is still around is because we protect full time employees who exhibit some potential. The fact it is boomeranging back to me means such potential was not realised.
As you astutely observe, there's certainly no benefit for me. In North American sporting terms I guess the best I can hope for are future draft picks.
Said problem child was fighting the consolidation of operations from four subsidiaries and refused to work on things until they were up to some mythical undefined unreachable standard. This has all been resolved as I have an everyone works on everything approach which is useful when you have to streamline every two years. I don't have the luxury of maintaining a dedicated group for every type of work. I believe this person also went over my head a few times and contributed to the overall impression I lack empathy with the staff.
There are two big projects that just got approved, but I can't see using this person there. They require specialised skillsets which I'm hiring off the street for. The peer probably came to the same conclusion. The only thing I can think of is chop up a small tiny portion of the stuff that I got consolidated and return it back to them to do - no supervisory/people management responsibilities this go around. Maybe some administrative or audit things - but I'd be taking these functions away from folks who are doing a good and are probably doing a better job than if this person was never transferred out of the team.
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fwiffo - your workplace continues to amuse, fascinate and baffle me.
Could I be so rude as to ask - does any "work" get done?
Could I be so rude as to ask - does any "work" get done?
aemaeTh
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Tell me about, life is hard. I'm applying for engineering internships right now and it's a rough life 
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Tell me about, life is hard. I'm applying for engineering internships right now and it's a rough life
World needs more engineers - well I reckon it depends what kind of engineer you are.
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C0keZer0
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Engineers do real work, unlike folks like me. Which field of engineering are you going into?Tell me about, life is hard. I'm applying for engineering internships right now and it's a rough life
We have a staff meeting every two weeks and yesterday at the end of it, the president of the company stood up to make an announcement to our surprise. He announced that so and so is no longer with the company. Her name was already off the company website. I have to wonder how she managed to piss someone off to get fired.
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What does a man do when he realises he is working towards the glory of another man and will get nothing from the endeavour?
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depends on what he wants in life. if he wants to be that man, then he leaves to stake his claim on the frontier. if he's ok with his position, then he stays and keeps on doing what he's doing.
Lord Buckley
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Yes and for the future longevity of the business, please don't pretend that the Indian knowledge export is universally better than your Western equivalent just because they are 1/4 of the price to hire.
One trend I've noticed is that the higher up you are in the pyramid and pay grade, the quicker they'll get you out of the door. Someone on average pay, you can afford to take your time and play it by the book. When you want some hot shot out who's grating with the President the standard dismissal HR process and HR manager's input is reduced to getting them out of the door and erasing any evidence that they wherever part of the team with immediate effect. When that happens it's not necessary a case of poor performance, just personality clashes with the new regime.
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C0keZer0
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Yes, we have an employee who is getting paid about $50k and gets away with disappearing, working from home whenever, leaving early, getting to arguments with upper mgmt. My boss says we're doing a "charity work." The employee who was fired, I just never knew her but she was a newbie making not much more. My "probational" period ends in 2 weeks, every new employee is put on 6 months of probation. I think someone like me is on a shorter leash and is more likely to be fired given my salary. But at the same time, I would provide a quality of work that matches my salary.