What's Making You Happy Today?

Rambo said:
This look on Tom Jones' face made me smile:

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Head-sized boobs tend to do that to me too.
 
OfficePants said:
She didn't understand and wouldn't accept net 30 payment terms and was whining about not getting paid. Its her stupid fault for waiting a month to submit a time sheet. Submit weekly if you need the money sooner, dumbass.

I get this entitled ass email with "I got bills to pay", so the bint threatens to stop working until she gets paid so I told her to go fuck herself right in the pussy.
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Brother, that actually made me laugh aloud. Beautiful.
 
Cleaned out one of my sheds today. Came across corporate records and shit from 1995-2005 which means FIRE!

As I stood, feeding papers into the burn barrel, I paused as I came upon dissolution agreements of a company I started with a friend and colleague that went sour in the early 2000's. I got sick of his shit and just booked leaving it all to him..Last time i spoke to the evil fuck was in 2002. I was about to start a new job. He rang me to tell me that he held no personal grudges and he hoped I wouldn't fuck up this new gig. Mighty white of him.

Over the years, when I would cross paths with people from the old company, invariably somewhere in the conversation they would drop "I always thought you were the fucked up one".

About 8 years ago he had his license permanently pulled for mistreating intellectually challenged patients under general anaesthesia. It was a National scandal.

He disappeared into disgrace and retired to a family compound on a lake in Quebec built in part with the extra $$$ he netted after my leaving.

A couple of years after that he unsuccessfully tried to off himself. Too much of a loser to succeed.

He now has terminal prostate cancer.

So what is making me happy today?

I pride myself on being a patient man to the consternation of many around me.

Patient enough to wait for Karma to fuck him right in his pussy.

That, and the flames lovingly caressing the lip of the burn barrel as they wrapped themselves around and consumed the file brought a smile to my lips. Patience & pyromania. Gotta love it.
 
thruth said:
About 8 years ago he had his license permanently pulled for mistreating intellectually challenged patients under general anaesthesia.
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I know this is totally off-topic and all, but I'm presuming this is dentistry...and every chick I know was knocked out when they had their wisdom teeth removed, whereas I was awake to see and hear them yanking teeth from my head with pliers...
Is this because these chicks were being molested, because girls are whiny, or what?
 
Rambo said:
6'7"
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She is a giantess. He's 5'10" ish.

I see your teeth flash, Jamaican honey so sweet.
Down where Lexington cross 47th Street.
She's a big girl, she's standing 6 foot 3. Turning tricks for dudes in the big city.....
 
Russell Street said:
I know this is totally off-topic and all, but I'm presuming this is dentistry...and every chick I know was knocked out when they had their wisdom teeth removed, whereas I was awake to see and hear them yanking teeth from my head with pliers...
Is this because these chicks were being molested, because girls are whiny, or what?
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Partly because it is better to have them knocked out. They are quiet that way.

Things have changed in the operating room over time. I can recall back in the day, if the chick was ugly, the anaesthetist would attached the leads to her chest fumbling under the covers. If she was hot, it was amazing how he would have to pull back the covers, exposing her, to "make sure the leads were properly attached."

IV sedation is a good alternative to GA. Safer plus the crazy, skanky chicks say the damnedest things when sedated.
 
I am so glad I asked. I don't even like Novocaine. I'll be asking the dentites about this all for a while now.
 
I was at a bar with a female acquaintance yesterday. Then she left and I was alone for a bit until another female acquaintance joined me at the same bar. Luckily the bartender was timely in cleaning up the empty glasses so it looked like I was waiting for the second one all along.
 
Fwiffo said:
I was at a bar with a female acquaintance yesterday. Then she left and I was alone for a bit until another female acquaintance joined me at the same bar. Luckily the bartender was timely in cleaning up the empty glasses so it looked like I was waiting for the second one all along.
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Seriously hate you and your life of wonderful sounding adventures sometimes.
 
Rambo said:
Seriously hate you and your life of wonderful sounding adventures sometimes.
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Sometimes I wonder what the bartender thinks when I am with a woman, chatting, laughing, I get a hug and kiss and she leaves. Then after 15 minutes, another one shows up and we're doing the same and I leave with her. It makes me look bad does it not? And this bartender is a woman too. Actually come to think of it, I brought a third woman to this establishment that this bartender has seen too. People must think I'm a cad.
 
OfficePants said:
Nah. Not for me. That sort of stuff is the sign of a screwed up person. I'm happy with 1 on 1, and I am serious about this girl. She's hot.
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I'm not screwed up. I was made defective when they shipped me from the factory. You don't need to make me feel bad about it.
 
Rambo said:
I'm not screwed up. I was made defective when they shipped me from the factory. You don't need to make me feel bad about it.
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That was intended for females. But I guess it crosses both ways. Anyway, in a committed situation, that sort of stuff is not my thing. Now, 2 random chicks in a bar... let's play.
 
My cheesy repair of stripped screw threads on a fountain pen seems to have totally worked. No leaking and the nib creep (when ink gets on the nib surface) is drastically down.
 
I guess I'm thankful that all my female companions are happy. I just need to do one more thing with one of them and that will put her over the top.

Going out to lunch with a woman I never met tomorrow.

Also Ramadan is over. Eid mubarak?
 
I woke up and I'm actually happy today. What happened!? I'm on some happy drugs. I was so giddy I walked to the market today before going to work.
 
It took me 36 hours to fix all my issues but I'm back to being happy again. Just got off a telephone call with someone who wanted a meeting with me and somehow the conversation veers into personal drinks & coffee. Why does it keep happening to me and young recruiter girls?
 
Made some tea with yaupon. Really easy. When the apocalypse comes and you sorryasses can't get your caffeine fix, come to the Southeast and pick some.
 
Had a sazerac, an abbey kiss, a southern mule (:rolleyes: a moscow mule with Bulleit rye instead of vodak), a mint julep (with ice cubes :fu:), and a fucking cucumber mojito thingee that was godawful. But still, a glorious night.

EDIT: How do you know when you're old? When you're talking about a glorious night at 11:56pm.
 
JimmyRustler said:
Goddamn I am sexy tonight. Drinking my martini at the Capital Grille in my white dinner jacket. I should have a troika.
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Capital Grille - white dinner jacket? Does the service staff not wear that?

Anyway, I'm happy it's a long weekend for me yet I spent 6 hours on my work laptop out of sheer boredom. Also I get to take someone's darling to the museum today and put on my seersucker jacket and other summer attire.
 
In spite of the occasional downpour, a good day was had by all. I snapped a photograph of her giving me one of those emotionless stare downs worthy of a magazine cover. My little darling is growing up - now she just needs to know when and who to use it for so she can shatter the hearts of other boys.
 
Got a compliment today with a finger pointing at me at an all hands meeting that besides the mothership my department was the furthest ahead out of all the Americas offices, They weren't even set up properly in the regional centre here.
 
Intern #4... gone. After a bunch of work prepping her and exchanges back and forth, its like, ok get to work sweetie. Crickets for 4 days. "Oh, I was away a few days, I forgot to tell you".

Oh little precious angle, I'm so sorry I questioned you, of course it had to be something simple. We thought you were dead, or sick, or had a death in the family, Ebola, kidnapping w/ ransom, trapped in an elevator shaft, Russians, but no -you were "out of town".

This was a masters degree student with a "3.7" GPA. We are really churning out the superstars America. Keep the University system rolling.

Within a week or so, please expect #5 to be fired. On the bright side, all the staff we're recruiting otherwise, you know, adults over 34, are doing pretty great.
 
Geez, every burger flipper knows that the first rule of keeping a job is to actually show up. And phone the fuck in if there's an emergency.
News flash: interns don't get vacation.
 
OfficePants said:
Intern #4... gone. After a bunch of work prepping her and exchanges back and forth, its like, ok get to work sweetie. Crickets for 4 days. "Oh, I was away a few days, I forgot to tell you".

Oh little precious angle, I'm so sorry I questioned you, of course it had to be something simple. We thought you were dead, or sick, or had a death in the family, Ebola, kidnapping w/ ransom, trapped in an elevator shaft, Russians, but no -you were "out of town".

This was a masters degree student with a "3.7" GPA. We are really churning out the superstars America. Keep the University system rolling.

Within a week or so, please expect #5 to be fired. On the bright side, all the staff we're recruiting otherwise, you know, adults over 34, are doing pretty great.
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Wait, she just took off days of work without you even knowing?
 
Rambo said:
Wait, she just took off days of work without you even knowing?
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I mean, she was working virtually, but yes. She was given a few tasks and clear direction, then went quiet and after several emails she answered with that bullshit so I fired her.
 
OfficePants said:
I mean, she was working virtually, but yes. She was given a few tasks and clear direction, then went quiet and after several emails she answered with that bullshit so I fired her.
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What the fuck kind of horseshit is that???

Did she have an excuse when you dropped the hammer on her?
 
Rambo said:
What the fuck kind of horseshit is that???

Did she have an excuse when you dropped the hammer on her?
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I know. Its insane.

Her excuse was that she didn't check her email very often and didn't know we were trying to contact her. She conveniently forgot that a clear timeline was given to her.


Russell Street said:
Hey, she couldn't work because she was busy with other stuff. Now she has more time for other stuff!
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Yup. Mom and dad can pay her way now. This is the problem, they know they have a fall back so don't feel compelled to perform.
 
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