What's Making You Happy Today?

Fire.

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Something occurred to me and I checked my SF post count: 873 since 2008.

This is my 875th here since May 18th.

Clearly I have found a better community.
 
I spent two days in a management course knowing (not demonstrating) full well that I could crush any of the managers in there.

I was also at a bar one evening and noticed a girl come in ordering an 18 year old Macallan. Got her e-mail and a hug after. Pretty cheap date.

Finally this week, I was also able to get into Bar Isabel - completely by accident at 2230 on a Wednesday. I managed to make it to last call for food and get out of there at 12am. Got to bed after 1 and showed up ship shape for the training at 830.
 
Just received this email and it made me smile. Is it just coincidence that I'm inheriting $$$ from Gianni Agnelli? Who be fuckin' wif me?

From Hollis Grey Chambers

Info@pa.com

Dear Beneficiary,

I wish to notify you that late Gianni Agnelli made a WILL in your name before his death. He left the sum of USD$60,500,000.00 to you in the Codicil and last testament to his Will. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, you are advised to contact us for more details.

Please do email us on this confidential emailhollisgreychambers@xd.ae

Regards,
Hollis Grey Chambers.
 
One of my staff yesterday wanted to endorse me in front of Human Resources to apply for an executive opening in my division.
 
Literary nerd alert - A friend and I were texting back and forth. We've been friends since third grade. Great guy. We're both Cormac McCarthy fans, but I've read all the novels a lot more. I'm a big reader, and Cormac is my favorite.

We were joking about Outer Dark, he had just read at my urging. Outer Dark ends with
three quasi-supernatural beings murdering a baby who has been central to the story, cooking it, and eating it.
. So that segued into him saying Cormac McCarthy would make the worst children's author ever. To which I replied:

The shriveled stillborn embryos lay mucilaginous yet withered covered by a mantis green film left by anthropodic vermin long since perished and flanked by the roasted corpulent flesh of swine murdered in the primers of their lives screaming for their sow mothers as the alien steel of the specksynder's blade sliced through their thrapples and coated the butchers' faces with blood like some Stygian caul or the crimson veil of a dervish cult unseen by western eyes.

He actually thought Cormac wrote that dreck, which made me happy. I was trying to parody McCarthy saying "Green Eggs and Ham"
 
FLMountainMan said:
Literary nerd alert - A friend and I were texting back and forth. We've been friends since third grade. Great guy. We're both Cormac McCarthy fans, but I've read all the novels a lot more. I'm a big reader, and Cormac is my favorite.

We were joking about Outer Dark, he had just read at my urging. Outer Dark ends with
three quasi-supernatural beings murdering a baby who has been central to the story, cooking it, and eating it.
. So that segued into him saying Cormac McCarthy would make the worst children's author ever. To which I replied:

The shriveled stillborn embryos lay mucilaginous yet withered covered by a mantis green film left by anthropodic vermin long since perished and flanked by the roasted corpulent flesh of swine murdered in the primers of their lives screaming for their sow mothers as the alien steel of the specksynder's blade sliced through their thrapples and coated the butchers' faces with blood like some Stygian caul or the crimson veil of a dervish cult unseen by western eyes.

He actually thought Cormac wrote that dreck, which made me happy. I was trying to parody McCarthy saying "Green Eggs and Ham"
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What did you think of The Counselor?
 
OfficePants said:
What did you think of The Counselor?
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I didn't see the movie, but the screenplay was published in book form and I read that. Meh. I would rather have seen it fleshed out into a novel. I can't imagine it made for a good movie, there's not really a good story arc or enough development of the main character. I think Fassbender would have almost enough charisma to compensate for that, but I think Cameron Diaz would be all wrong for her role.
 
I had a very nice birthday dinner with my cousin who is abstaining from red meat, pastas, potatoes, cigarettes, and alcohol. My corrupting influence meant she did all of the above at the end of the night - and in excess. I love her to pieces and she's getting married next month.

Terrible hang over from a cocktail and three bottles of wine last night.
 
I think I fixed everything on my personal side. Yes! It's like balancing a very delicate puzzle. I also made an appointment about my hair for two weeks from now. Maybe they'll give me those drugs that drive me to suicide and impotence.
 
OfficePants said:
Brabantia doesn't have the rep in the US it should. They make nice stuff.
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It is actually nice stuff. Had a breadbox but as with much of our stuff it went to one of the kids to save them from having to buy it themselves.
 
Back circa 2001, I filled out some survey that came with the $100 Brabantia ironing board (that Bed, Bath doesn't carry in stores anymore, relaced by cheap knock-offs... grrr) and they sent me a lovely brushed stainless bottle opener. I mean I like them because of good design and quality, but prime swag helps loyalty too.
 
But
JimmyRustler said:
Holy shit, Service Merchandise. I remember going there back in the day. Those fucking clipboards and shit out on display that was manhandled by children with dirty hands and greasy housewives.
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Yeah, but the stuff you ordered after filling out the little form with a mini-golf pencil came up from the basement on a conveyor belt. I knew a kid in college that did the order-picking down there.
 
I got sartorial gifts from a special someone this morning.

I then realised the younger ladies in the office love setting up meetings with me and only me in isolated conference rooms whilst trying to explain simple concepts that take a few minutes but somehow for me are elaborated at length with smiles.
 
Fwiffo said:
I got sartorial gifts from a special someone this morning.

I then realised the younger ladies in the office love setting up meetings with me and only me in isolated conference rooms whilst trying to explain simple concepts that take a few minutes but somehow for me are elaborated at length with smiles.
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You lucky son of a bitch.
 
Rambo said:
Another one that just couldn't get with the program?
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She didn't understand and wouldn't accept net 30 payment terms and was whining about not getting paid. Its her stupid fault for waiting a month to submit a time sheet. Submit weekly if you need the money sooner, dumbass.

I get this entitled ass email with "I got bills to pay", so the bint threatens to stop working until she gets paid so I told her to go fuck herself right in the pussy.
 
OfficePants said:
I get this entitled ass email with "I got bills to pay", so the bint threatens to stop working until she gets paid so I told her to go fuck herself right in the pussy.
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Such grammar. It should be "I have bills to pay." Who holds off on submitting time sheets? That's worse than the dummies that would forget to use the time clock...
 
Russell Street said:
Such grammar. It should be "I have bills to pay." Who holds off on submitting time sheets? That's worse than the dummies that would forget to use the time clock...
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In her defense, she said 'have'.

Time sheets are a pain in the ass, I get it, but don't expect me to drive you to the ATM when you need the $. I have a business to run and a payroll schedule to follow. Idiot. The entitlement of this generation is beyond belief.
 
Had two fucking idiots in their twenties try to convince me that our bodies needed caffeine. "Like vitamins". So funny. I then asked if that were the case, then how did humans in Europe survive before trade with China and the Americas was opened? Blank faces. I tried for about five minutes to get them to understand that Europeans (and many other folks) had no access to anything with caffeine until trade routes were established. They just kept insisting they must have gotten it from natural sources that we hadn't found yet. It was one of those fun conversations where the other side starts off smug and gets less so and you start off humble and wind up smug.
 
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