Resume, Job Help, & Job/Career Advice

[Monkeyface]

Dont worry, I dont work for Immigration so you dont have to bullshit me, I did get a job offer and I plan to take it later on. Again, please do tell because I dont buy it. Is it only money that you are willing to move over here? Because to me, thats what it sounds like. Monkeyface

Nope, if it's money I'm after I should stay exactly where I am. I'd be giving up some freedom too on H1B, not a fan of that, but it's all worth it!

 

[Fwiffo]

Oh my God - US Immigration - pick that guy! He's so desperate to get in and donate his tax money.

 

[Leitmotif]

Lol the azn retard

 

[Monkeyface]

Oh my God - US Immigration - pick that guy! He's so desperate to get in and donate his tax money.

Yes, so much tax! I'll buy an American made car too, not some traitor foreign car!

 

[Fwiffo]

Tell me what you did today and I'll tell you who you are

All I got from this article was he only works 3-5 hours a day. He spends more time on himself and his kids than his job.

 

[Fwiffo]

A sales person - I assume working the till - at Sam's Club just added me on LinkedIn. Should I accept?

 

[Lord Buckley]

Baring in mind that many of the major scams on businesses are currently using LinkedIn as the primary gateway into organisations and businesses....I would, if I knew the person.

 

[Grand Potentate]

A sales person - I assume working the till - at Sam's Club just added me on LinkedIn. Should I accept?

what's the benefit to you?

 

[Monkeyface]

A sales person - I assume working the till - at Sam's Club just added me on LinkedIn. Should I accept?

Only if they wrote a specific message, like a college kid trying to get into the business or something. Pass if it's just the standard message.

 

[Lord Buckley]

The benefit might be to them and if they are a decent enough sort, being linked to someone of your stature socially might assist them in the long term. I would have no problem with that. I have connected with my gym trainer and other people I know on the periphery.

 

[Monkeyface]

The benefit might be to them and if they are a decent enough sort, being linked to someone of your stature socially might assist them in the long term. I would have no problem with that. I have connected with my gym trainer and other people I know on the periphery.

Would you really want to be linked to someone of Fwiffo 's stature though?

 

[prince nez]

So I was offered a job at a rival organisation which I accepted last week. I resigned and negotiated a 2 week notice period last Friday, and told the new employer, who had me starting on the Friday 2 weeks later. I thought this was reasonable, given that if I had resigned this Monday I wouldn't really be expected to come in on Monday week...

However, my supervisor in my old job is arguing with me over my final day - despite it being a quiet time of the year and there being a ready-made replacement for me, he insisted that my last day should be next Friday rather than the Thursday which is 2 weeks after he received my notice. "Oh but you only resigned formally in the afternoon". Seriously? Way to motivate buddy - he never did learn the difference between management and leadership...

I keep things professional, but I honestly felt like saying his typical argumentative stupidity, that serves no purpose, is what I will be most glad to be leaving behind. Does he actually want to pay me for an extra day when I call in sick? Or does he want to me to do sweet fuck all until I do leave? He's going on vacation that day himself so how the fuck would he know if I was in the office anyway? Talk about picking a fight you can't win...

Anyway, I just got the official email from HR stating erroneously that my last day here is Tuesday... and I am not going to bother to correct the fuckers, let them sort it out. I wouldn't mind a couple of days off...

 

[Lord Buckley]

I don't understand this HR inspired malarkey where you get employees to work their full notice period. If the person is going and is no longer interested, you need to seamlessly transfer their responsibilities to someone else as soon as possible and bid them au revoir and good luck. Someone's who loyalty is elsewhere and who is no longer committed is either going to contribute little, just enough, or be a spanner in the works.

One good tip for the agile and mobile worker, is never clutter your desk with personal artifacts and framed photos. One looks rather ungainly when you are being escorted out by security with lots of stuff under your arms!

 

[Monkeyface]

I don't understand this HR inspired malarkey where you get employees to work their full notice period. If the person is going and is no longer interested, you need to seamlessly transfer their responsibilities to someone else as soon as possible and bid them au revoir and good luck. Someone's who loyalty is elsewhere and who is no longer committed is either going to contribute little, just enough, or be a spanner in the works.

One good tip for the agile and mobile worker, is never clutter your desk with personal artifacts and framed photos. One looks rather ungainly when you are being escorted out by security with lots of stuff under your arms!

Over here notice periods are mostly just paid leave. If you know you're going to quit just slowly take your stuff home over the span of a few days, it's not rocket science. All I have is food anyways, so I'll prob just eat it!

 

[fxh]

Over here notice periods are mostly just paid leave. If you know you're going to quit just slowly take your stuff home over the span of a few days, it's not rocket science. All I have is food anyways, so I'll prob just eat it!

 

[Monkeyface]

View attachment 21515

No pizza. Somewhat healthy stuff. Almonds, sunflower seeds, whey protein, bananas, 90% cacao choc, etc

 

[prince nez]

I don't understand this HR inspired malarkey where you get employees to work their full notice period. If the person is going and is no longer interested, you need to seamlessly transfer their responsibilities to someone else as soon as possible and bid them au revoir and good luck. Someone's who loyalty is elsewhere and who is no longer committed is either going to contribute little, just enough, or be a spanner in the works.

One good tip for the agile and mobile worker, is never clutter your desk with personal artifacts and framed photos. One looks rather ungainly when you are being escorted out by security with lots of stuff under your arms!

Fuck I hardly ever worked when I was in the office before I had a new gig - whatever did people expect now I'm the fuck outta there??

 

[QuandoDio]

No pizza. Somewhat healthy stuff. Almonds, sunflower seeds, whey protein, bananas, 90% cacao choc, etc

I disappoint. No blow? weed? E? Banker boy or choirboy?

 

[Fwiffo]

Fuck I hardly ever worked when I was in the office before I had a new gig - whatever did people expect now I'm the fuck outta there??

Are we still talking about the entire period or just the last day when your boss isn't there?

I'd just focus on being professional. Show up on time and leave on time. Why use this period to blow up any potential bridges? You may never see yourself coming back, but if you're still within the same industry or locale then karma usually has a way of coming back to bite you.

You still get paid for this period yes? Then that's all the justification the company needs.

Of course you could always just throw a tantrum and disappear or make a mockery of the situation but the price of the moral (or emotional?) personal victory should be weighed against the potential consequences I cited above.

 

[prince nez]

Are we still talking about the entire period or just the last day when your boss isn't there?

I'd just focus on being professional. Show up on time and leave on time. Why use this period to blow up any potential bridges? You may never see yourself coming back, but if you're still within the same industry or locale then karma usually has a way of coming back to bite you.

You still get paid for this period yes? Then that's all the justification the company needs.

Of course you could always just throw a tantrum and disappear or make a mockery of the situation but the price of the moral (or emotional?) personal victory should be weighed against the potential consequences I cited above.

Thanks for the advice but it's not me throwing a tanty or with my finger on the detonator - my-soon-to-be-former boss is the one seemingly intent on blowing bridges with me. I have tried to stay professional throughout, but he wants to pick a pissy fight over one day, at the risk of alienating me completely, and for what gain? So he can be "right"? Whatever mate, I simply told him I am starting my new position on x date and that's that, as we had already agreed. It's not a moral but a practical question for me...

BTW, this is the same fucker who, when the roles were reversed last year, was putting pressure on me to shorten the official notice period at my previous company...

I'm actually intent on doing the right thing by my colleagues before I go, because there are people whom I actually respect and I do not want to leave handgrenades lying around for.

As for showing up and leaving on time, I'll admit that's not my strong suit; I'm more focused on getting results than presenteeism.

 

[Monkeyface]

I disappoint. No blow? weed? E? Banker boy or choirboy?

I'll leave that to you

 

[Lord Buckley]

I once had an orange that had turned to Cointreau at the back of my drawer.

 

[Fwiffo]

My company is creating an Innovation department in each regional office. This idea came from the head office and they've had one for a year or so. Now we need to find who can transfer over to this department. I'm not exactly volunteering myself nor any of my staff.

I don't know whether it is more or less laughable that the White House has already done this with Jared Kushner. The government is moving faster than us.

 

[Fwiffo]

All I wanted was to achieve things and make a difference. Is it sad my aspiration is to be in this trade magazine with a headshot that said so and so made it to some executive level at this insurance firm? Or I wanted to win an award and get my photograph taken with a trophy and all of my industry friends in attendance?

Why do I want the glory?

 

[Thruth]

All I wanted was to achieve things and make a difference. Is it sad my aspiration is to be in this trade magazine with a headshot that said so and so made it to some executive level at this insurance firm? Or I wanted to win an award and get my photograph taken with a trophy and all of my industry friends in attendance?

Why do I want the glory?

Are these things still yet to happen?

Buck up. You still have time.

 

[Fwiffo]

Are these things still yet to happen?

Buck up. You still have time.

You know when people go into surgery. There's the surgeon. Maybe some specialist. The nurses. And then there's the anaethesiologist. What does that bloke do? Put the patient to sleep, then everyone does their thing, then he reduces the dosage and the patient wakes up. Do you ever think the anaethesis chap ever says - hey I wouldn't recommend doing that, or BP looks low, I'd advise this instead.

Oh yes, they're yet to happen. I wish one of them happened so I could be happy now and people in the industry, my friends, would be happy for me. Beloved by all like Alexander the Great when he won Gaugamela.

 

[Thruth]

You know when people go into surgery. There's the surgeon. Maybe some specialist. The nurses. And then there's the anaethesiologist. What does that bloke do? Put the patient to sleep, then everyone does their thing, then he reduces the dosage and the patient wakes up. Do you ever think the anaethesis chap ever says - hey I wouldn't recommend doing that, or BP looks low, I'd advise this instead.

Oh yes, they're yet to happen. I wish one of them happened so I could be happy now and people in the industry, my friends, would be happy for me. Beloved by all like Alexander the Great when he won Gaugamela.

When I was doing my anaesthesia rotation a 100 years ago, I once said to a chest surgeon "um, is there anything going on in there that I should know about,BP is kinda low?"

He laughed and said "oh yeah, he is bleeding quite a bit and it is pooling in his chest cavity. Better hang a bag or something!"

What do you have to do to achieve mention in the company magazine?

 

[Fwiffo]

When I was doing my anaesthesia rotation a 100 years ago, I once said to a chest surgeon "um, is there anything going on in there that I should know about,BP is kinda low?"

He laughed and said "oh yeah, he is bleeding quite a bit and it is pooling in his chest cavity. Better hang a bag or something!"

What do you have to do to achieve mention in the company magazine?

Two weeks ago my boss asked for a volunteer to organise a meeting for today. Dutiful I was, I booked it and prepared for it. I even showed up early today. Bookended to this meeting before and after were something about a high profile project. I was there, and a half hour in, I was told by the boss everyone was late because the project meeting I'm not in is running late. I proceeded to finish my day and returned to my floor to find said absentees holed up in a room for some meeting I knew would end late. 90 minutes walking around in a conference room well prepared. The Marketing chap brought clients around to see me in a suit and tie stare into the distance with some papers on the desk. I was a zoo animal.

Although I'm grateful I have time for my social life and I sleep on a bed made of money, I still in some level miss being in the thick of things, in the crucible of fire, being the centre of everything.

It's not a company magazine. It's Canadian Underwriter. I want to be in a star in a trade magazine. It'll do wonders for my CV.

 

[Thruth]

Two weeks ago my boss asked for a volunteer to organise a meeting for today. Dutiful I was, I booked it and prepared for it. I even showed up early today. Bookended to this meeting before and after were something about a high profile project. I was there, and a half hour in, I was told by the boss everyone was late because the project meeting I'm not in is running late. I proceeded to finish my day and returned to my floor to find said absentees holed up in a room for some meeting I knew would end late. 90 minutes walking around in a conference room well prepared. The Marketing chap brought clients around to see me in a suit and tie stare into the distance with some papers on the desk. I was a zoo animal.

Although I'm grateful I have time for my social life and I sleep on a bed made of money, I still in some level miss being in the thick of things, in the crucible of fire, being the centre of everything.

It's not a company magazine. It's Canadian Underwriter. I want to be in a star in a trade magazine. It'll do wonders for my CV.

you can't write an article? or do the rubber chicken circuit and deliver a presentation?

you can't just go to one of the shindigs and get in a photo-op with the other drunks?

 

[prince nez]

you can't write an article? or do the rubber chicken circuit and deliver a presentation?

you can't just go to one of the shindigs and get in a photo-op with the other drunks?
View attachment 21591 View attachment 21592

Yeah shit it's not that hard to get into a trade mag - they'll publish anything. Fwiff could start with a recount of his daily drinking regime or even just copy pasta some of his posts together from his thread and - bingo! Life goal achieved.

 

[Thruth]

Yeah shit it's not that hard to get into a trade mag - they'll publish anything. Fwiff could start with a recount of his daily drinking regime or even just copy pasta some of his posts together from his thread and - bingo! Life goal achieved.

Seems like it from scanning the March edition

 

[Fwiffo]

you can't write an article? or do the rubber chicken circuit and deliver a presentation?

you can't just go to one of the shindigs and get in a photo-op with the other drunks?

I just had a crap day at work being out of the loop.

I'm reading the same magazine. Except mine is in paper addressed to me and my title is there too.

Yeah shit it's not that hard to get into a trade mag - they'll publish anything. Fwiff could start with a recount of his daily drinking regime or even just copy pasta some of his posts together from his thread and - bingo! Life goal achieved.

It's insurance mate. Drinking alcohol isn't going to get me in the headlines. After all, the whole industry drinks - to the excess.

 

[Grand Potentate]

Then you need to get out there and show them all Who's the best at it!

 

[Thruth]

I just had a crap day at work being out of the loop.

I'm reading the same magazine. Except mine is in paper addressed to me and my title is there too.




It's insurance mate. Drinking alcohol isn't going to get me in the headlines. After all, the whole industry drinks - to the excess.

Well, write an article.

 

[fxh]

jesus fwiffo - being a star in a trade magazine - or almost anything these days - is easy. They are all understaffed or under skilled or lazy or usually all three. No one can write or has time to. All the articles are just cut and paste PR sheets dreamt up by somebodies publicist. You can write your own - send it in with a few snaps and you'll be on the cover baby

 

[Lord Buckley]

Trade magazines, isn't that some kind of vanity publishing? I'm in one of my client's magazines from last year as a diligent and professional service provider. They did the full interview and photographer thing. Not much glory, I prefer money.

More correspondence with the lawyer this morning. Strongly recommends that I strike a deal as at the end of the allotted time I won't be able to provide evidence to the autonomous administrative authority and the social affairs and employment commission that the person is moving to invalidity benefit (this is because they have already emigrated overseas). The risk is I can be J'Accussed and they can say there wasn't a real process to get this person back to work by the company and that we/I can be fined.

The crucial point, as the lawyer informs me: "In this situation, the actual availability for work is not crucial, the decision of the work doctor is. So, if the work doctor confirms they are still (partly) sick, then they are entitled to salary, regardless of which country they now reside in. If you were to find evidence that the person is working there, then we still need to go to court with all the trouble and costs, it would be a test case and as I have already told you the judges will expect the employer to go that bit extra above what is mandatory under law to accomodate the employee who is seen as the victim."

No wonder Europe is failing.

 

[Lord Buckley]

Whilst getting audited today, I found out that one of the ladies who was plotting to set me up on a sexual discrimination case is now working for yet another one of our clients. Interesting, as this client is big on marketing that they only engage with and employ top Masters degree and above talent. I've long held my suspicions....

It will come as no surprise then, that this person finished school at 16 with zero credentials, has no further education and when my young hungry protege bumped into her ex-husband in an Australian bar somewhere in The Hague, he told him that his ex-wife had a serious cocaine and ecstasy habit. Not only that, when she met with our UK manager after a few drinks she proceeded to tell him that she had been one of the female members of ADO Den Haag football hooligans.

The mind boggles!

 

[Grand Potentate]

he told him that his ex-wife had a serious cocaine and ecstasy habit.

sounds like a good woman

 

[fxh]

... in an Australian bar somewhere in The Hague, ...

WTF is the world coming to

 

[Lord Buckley]

The oil industry remains locked-in what feels like a death spiral of depression and this chap has contacted me today, not aware that he is one of 15 applicants for this position, that he is willing to take the position on, so long as it is a "detaching" contract. What this means is that we enter into a contract for 3 years and if for whatever reason there is no work, the job or project ends because of cancellation by the client or such like, we will continue paying him a salary until the end of the 3 years.

How anyone can even contemplate such a move in these times is beyond me. His CV is now residing in the bin.