You must be harder on your shirts than I am! I haven't had those problems with any of my hand-stitched shirts - Inglese, Borrelli, Barba and others.
Mind you, I wash all of my shirts on gentle machine wash, in individual mesh washing bags so they don't get tangled up, then line dry them and iron them myself.
Tut! Tut! I wash each of my shirts individually and dry them singularly on a line in case one touches the other and the hand stitching fails. It's like mechanical failure at 40,000 feet and must be avoided at all costs.