Ridiculous Stories In The News

Rambo said:
'Fart' in parliament: Row blows up in Canada

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38037187
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Remedy:

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Monkey attack on girl sparks deadly ethnic clashes in Libya

"Ethnic fighting has left at least 20 people dead in the south Libyan town of Sabha after an incident with a monkey, medical sources say.
The pet monkey assaulted a schoolgirl, leading the victim's family to seek revenge, and three young men were killed along with the animal initially.

Days of fighting followed between the Awlad Suleiman and Guedadfa groups.

Casualties may be greater as the death toll is reportedly for the Awlad Suleiman group only.
Reports suggest tanks, rockets, mortars and other heavy weapons were used in the fighting, in which at least 50 people were also wounded."

If a monkey can provoke this type of retaliation just think what kind of animal could provoke a nuclear attack. For Kim Jong Un, an ostrich? For Pakistan, a donkey?
 
UA - Basic Economy class

This gave me a chuckle: "United Airlines Launches Basic Economy, Also Known As Misery Class"

This didn't though:

"We have visions of air travel from the 1950s and ’60s as glamorous, passengers lounging on sofas while nattily becapped air hostesses poured champagne before serving the lobster. Now these things did happen – but the thing is, they still do, and for the exact same people they always did. Air travel used to be ruinously expensive, so expensive that the thought of going on a honeymoon to Paris was out of the question for all but the Madmen set...The jet age was not for everybody. Our current era of discount fares, tighter legroom and sitting beside people wearing track suits and packing a lunch is.

But it is precisely these sorts of things that allow a custodian at an elementary school to take her family on vacation to Thailand....But in this particular instance, the money you pay for that extra bag is going a long way to opening up the world to more people than it’s ever been open to before."

And why must the world be opened up for the custodian? So every Tom, Dick and Harry can get into the giant herd that tramples the Great Wall or Colosseum to dust just so they can post yet another picture on Instagram?
 
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Fwiffo said:
And why must the world be opened up for the custodian? So every Tom, Dick and Harry can get into the giant herd that tramples the Great Wall or Colosseum to dust just so they can post yet another picture on Instagram?
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Chances are that this imaginary custodian is from Thailand (replace with country of origin) and is just going back for a family visit.
 
Scherensammler said:
The photography student, who has a girlfriend, believes tampons are a 'luxury item' and said if a woman "cannot hold in her period until she gets to a toilet" then it is her problem, not the taxpayers'.
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Meninist? Is that another new term? Wait till he starts shagging some woman during that time of the month.

viaattovannucci said:
Chances are that this imaginary custodian is from Thailand (replace with country of origin) and is just going back for a family visit.
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Like my father - except he went back after more than three decades in North America and only after he retired. I still maintain people are spoiled and feel empowered these days fueled by misconceptions on equal rights and freedom.
 
Fwiffo said:
Like my father - except he went back after more than three decades in North America and only after he retired. I still maintain people are spoiled and feel empowered these days fueled by misconceptions on equal rights and freedom.
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Your father is from Thailand?
 
I had no idea Lapo was gay! I can only hope he wasn't tempting LR...

This made me laugh, though:

The two soon holed themselves up inside a Manhattan public housing project, according to the source, where the two men allegedly started consuming alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine.

Just the guy you want to rule over a massive multinational Konzern™...
 
Smartphone toilet paper

Please please don't put more things to encourage people to use their mobile in public toilets. I cringe every time I hear someone pick up their mobile in the stall.
 
Square Mile in London to be protected by 'Ring of Steel'

"A new "ring of steel" costing £5m has been proposed to protect the skyscrapers in London's "Square Mile" from terrorist attack.

Manned checkpoints, rising street bollards and crash-proof barricades are among the measures proposed."

Are people daft? As if Brexit won't squeeze the life out of the City of London let's build manned checkpoints like a re-enactment of the Children of Men film.
 
Uniqlo in trouble for giving away free clothing

"Some, however, were critical of this move and thought Uniqlo should donate these pieces of apparel to local charities and shelters instead."

What's next? Going to heaven means I took the place of someone who deserves it more? I shouldn't drink and ruin my organs in case someone needs me to make a voluntary or involuntary donation?
 
Welcome to Shelburne‎

These people moved to some village of 8,000 people because of property prices. 300K can buy you a four bedroom house. They drive 20 minutes to the nearest town (Orangeville). Take a bus to the next nearest suburb city (Brampton). Take a train to the city. 5 hour daily commute 100km to the city centre. Are you mad? The village has one commercial eatery, a Tim Horton's. People need to learn to live within their means. Sorry Janie isn't going to get an extra play room or frolick in her rolling acre. And they're all hypocrites. You're still clinging on to your financial district job because it pays more. You can't have your cake and eat it too.‎
‎
I always thought it was strange 600K people are in Brampton, but to think that's too crowded and you have to move even further out to the wilderness is madness.‎
 
Fwiffo said:
Welcome to Shelburne‎

These people moved to some village of 8,000 people because of property prices. 300K can buy you a four bedroom house. They drive 20 minutes to the nearest town (Orangeville). Take a bus to the next nearest suburb city (Brampton). Take a train to the city. 5 hour daily commute 100km to the city centre. Are you mad? The village has one commercial eatery, a Tim Horton's. People need to learn to live within their means. Sorry Janie isn't going to get an extra play room or frolick in her rolling acre. And they're all hypocrites. You're still clinging on to your financial district job because it pays more. You can't have your cake and eat it too.‎
‎
I always thought it was strange 600K people are in Brampton, but to think that's too crowded and you have to move even further out to the wilderness is madness.‎
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Spoken like someone who doesn't have kids. The allure of the suburbs is all powerful, it killed off the swing era and the big bands. The space, the suitability for children, the decent public schools and greenery should not be written off. It does read that it could be some copy for some estate agent though.

But it is of course all relative, in London and the south east of the England a 4 hour daily commute is not unusual, probably normal for people with kids. And here, where I live, for several people my 15-20 minutes each way to the centre of The Hague is considered way, way too much. On several occasions I have been told by friend's wives (who don't have children) they could never live in a place like I live, the dreaded suburbs. Of course, they would say this having their barren sterile wombs exposed to the ripe variety.

You can have your cake an eat it too, so long as you're willing to commute longer, but after about 40 minutes each way (unless you're on a bicycle), especially in heavy traffic it rapidly becomes a bit of a burden.
 
Texas law to fine masturbating

One day man will tell his grandchildren we spent our time on this...

"A female politician in Texas is taking an unusual swipe at what she sees as restrictive abortion laws by targeting men - more precisely male masturbation.

Her unlikely draft law has a simple aim, she says - to protect unborn children everywhere.

Which is why it wants all 'emissions outside of a woman's vagina, or created outside of a health or medical facility' to carry a $100 (£81) fine.

If a man made such an emission it would 'be considered an act against an unborn child'."
 
Fwiffo said:
Texas law to fine masturbating

One day man will tell his grandchildren we spent our time on this...

"A female politician in Texas is taking an unusual swipe at what she sees as restrictive abortion laws by targeting men - more precisely male masturbation.

Her unlikely draft law has a simple aim, she says - to protect unborn children everywhere.

Which is why it wants all 'emissions outside of a woman's vagina, or created outside of a health or medical facility' to carry a $100 (£81) fine.

If a man made such an emission it would 'be considered an act against an unborn child'."
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Does she endorse prostitution or, even worse, rape? And who will impose the fines? The wank police?

https://twitter.com/wankpolice?lang=de
 
Uber's possible demise...

What? Uber is dying? The alternative is to download an app for ride sharing in Austin, Texas and then one for every other city I want to travel in? That's not progress.
 
Fwiffo said:
Welcome to Shelburne‎

These people moved to some village of 8,000 people because of property prices. 300K can buy you a four bedroom house. They drive 20 minutes to the nearest town (Orangeville). Take a bus to the next nearest suburb city (Brampton). Take a train to the city. 5 hour daily commute 100km to the city centre. Are you mad? The village has one commercial eatery, a Tim Horton's. People need to learn to live within their means. Sorry Janie isn't going to get an extra play room or frolick in her rolling acre. And they're all hypocrites. You're still clinging on to your financial district job because it pays more. You can't have your cake and eat it too.‎
‎
I always thought it was strange 600K people are in Brampton, but to think that's too crowded and you have to move even further out to the wilderness is madness.‎
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My brother lived in Forest Hill, Toronto then bought in Brampton. At least it had only one train link to the centre of the city. His wife was homesick, so they managed to get a move back to the UK, financed via the company. In the 80s Brampton seemed to be an ordinary white suburb. Things must have changed since then.
 
Serious amount of white flight going on here too, a few suburbs located exactly dead centre between Rotterdam and The Hague are on the up - big time. There's a dirge of restaurants and bars, but the bike lanes and the fact kids can play outdoors with other kids is a winner.

The middle class suburban dweller is an interesting phenomenon, the true global citizen. Wherever they are found they share the same values and appetites.
 
Kingstonian said:
My brother lived in Forest Hill, Toronto then bought in Brampton. At least it had only one train link to the centre of the city. His wife was homesick, so they managed to get a move back to the UK, financed via the company. In the 80s Brampton seemed to be an ordinary white suburb. Things must have changed since then.
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Forest Hill is a neighbourhood in main city akin to Kensington or Belgravia or something. Brampton was in the 1980s a sleepy town on the edge of a big(ger) suburb with 150,000 odd people. It's now 590,000 odd people and 66% are visible minority with the lion's share of those newcomers being Indians and Pakistanis. The white people, like my direct report who is born in Brampton, moved further southwest. Think of it like Birmingham.

Looking at the visible minority percentage I'm actually not surprised. Most everywhere around Toronto is over 50% minorities and 2/3 immigrants anyway....except where my parents live. It might be shocking to others but I'm comfortable with it.

Lord Buckley said:
Serious amount of white flight going on here too, a few suburbs located exactly dead centre between Rotterdam and The Hague are on the up - big time. There's a dirge of restaurants and bars, but the bike lanes and the fact kids can play outdoors with other kids is a winner.
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You're not really in a suburb. Didn't you tell me you're 25 minutes away? 25 minutes away here on a subway would get you midtown.
 
I'm 15 minutes away from the centre of the city, 10 minutes away from work - that's classed as being out in the sticks in these here parts. Heavy traffic a bit more. It's barmy, I agree. And the reality is those in certain parts of the so called city have a longer commute than me.

But I don't make the rules. A big, I mean a real big mind set difference between the middle class in the city and those in the suburbs here. The prime one being that those in the city are barren and bitter as fuck, but hide it behind a disdain for the suburbs as a place they could never live and then they sneer - the women I mean.
 
Fwiffo said:
Looking at the visible minority percentage I'm actually not surprised. Most everywhere around Toronto is over 50% minorities and 2/3 immigrants anyway....except where my parents live. It might be shocking to others but I'm comfortable with it.
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Toronto used to have lots of nationalities in the 1980s that were not common in the UK at the time mostly from communist East Europe - and all living in close proximity, Hungarian places next to an Orange Lodge, for example. Not many non whites though; and very few blacks. China Spadina maybe the biggest community. More Chinese in Vancouver though and I remember Asians leaving UK for places like Calgary.
 
South Africa Welfare Disaster

I've heard of libertarians and conservatives who want to shrink government but this is a real kicker.

"The government awarded a lucrative contract to a private firm to distribute the grants, but the Constitutional Court – the country's highest court – invalidated it in 2013 and told the government that a state agency should have the contract.

The government ignored the court orders and failed to replace the contract, even as it hurtled toward a deadline of March 31, when the contract would expire, leaving millions of people without any source of income.

Mr. Zuma's social development minister, Bathabile Dlamini, has been accused of benefiting from personal connections to the private firm distributing the grants. She stubbornly refused to take the contract away from the profit-making firm as the deadline approached.
...
The court also prohibited the private company from using the data of the grant recipients to contact them to offer loans and other money-making schemes. South African media have documented how the company has made profits by lending money and selling services to the impoverished recipients."

So basically you outsourced your own social welfare program and the private firm that takes a commission on public funds also sells your disadvantaged citizens all manners of dodgy loans.

This is either civic madness or free market genius.
 
Tbh if any of you cannot see an issue with panel of exclusive men (white) - of any race really - discussing and deciding on women issues in 21st century then you are idiots.

This is not dissimilar to middle east.
 
I'm just more curious whether in an alternate reality if the tables were turned - Southeast Asian women deciding on the fate of white men, would anyone bother to point that out?
 
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